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what would you do?

my daughter has just turned two and a half and has started playschool for one session a week but really hates and i have to pay for it she spend most days worrying when she is next going! and has been really unsettled now for a month do you think i should pay for her to go to more sessions or hold back till she is 3?when she will be funded!


  • Hi there, I would keep taking her, she would get used to it. My daughter goes swimming lessons once a week for half hour and I see a similar thing with one of the other girls that goes everytime she went near the pool she would cry. its horrible to see but after a few lessons shes lovin it. x
  • personally i would wait til she's had a few more sessions then if she really really doesn't like it and is getting upset then hold off til she's 3. there's no harm, just stress for her and you! xx
  • Do you know what it is that upsets her about it, is it what they do, or mixing with other children or being left? If you can work out what it is that's upsetting her you might be able to work on that. My dd struggled at her playgroup at first till she got to know one of the helpers a bit better and then when she got dropped off that lady would make a point of coming to meet her and help her 'get into' an activity so I could leave without as many tears. If it's the noise and the kind of activities you could try doing similar things at home with just the two of you and then build up to 1 or 2 friends as well. I would try to stick to it for now as it might be harder when she's older. The other thing we did was to use bribery & corruption and promised nice times after playgroup like You're going to have a lovely time and then mummy's going to take you to the park afterwards, so my dd knew something nice was coming up after and she knew she wasn't going to be in playgroup forever! It is really hard but keep going hun x
  • Hi, I think I would only try a few more sessions and then maybe leave it. I was a swimming teacher for 14 years and mainly taught pre-school children. It's really hard because it is only one session and you know nothing awful is going to happen, but is it really worth all that upset for one day a week? Maybe she just isn't ready and waiting another six months might make all the difference. It sounds like it is just as stressful for you as it is for her. We would have lots of children start, that were just that bit too young. We take them on their own from 3 and mum and tott sessions before and it's surprising how those few months can make a big difference. Good luck xx
  • hi. i had this problem with my 2 nd child. he started play group at just over 2 years and i tried to perservere for a few weeks but he was so upset every time i took him and i was having to stay with him and he would get so upset to the point of making himself sick and i tried to leave him 2 times but all i could hear was his screams down the road, it seemed pointless to keep upsetting him and upsetting me i would cry each time as well. so i took him out until he was 3 and he started the school nursery and it helped as his older brother was in the same building as him. so sometimes perserverance doesn't help. some children just aren't ready for the detatchment from their mums and are not emotionally ready for something as big as play group. xx
  • hi, i worked in a nursery til i fell pg. a lot of children are unsettled when they 1st start, there is always a member of staff who the new child clings 2 or makes a connection with but it will take time at 1st. some children come in on the 1st day & r ok some r very tearful for a few weeks it depends on the child. i personally wouldnt put my child in nursery or playgroups til theyre at least 2 but thats my preference (i wud like to know that my child can talk incase there is anything they dont like, they can tell me). some children cry when theyre bought in but as soon as the parent leaves they are happily playing. children r very good at making parents feel guilty (i have noticed) but saying that u know ur child & if they are genuinely unhappy do what u think is best***
  • Hi
    I took my daughter to a playgroup where the parents stay this was when she was around 1. One of the boys a few months older kept hitting her and making her cry, perhaps this is happening, maybe you could try a group where the parents stay so you can see how see reacts to other kids. Or perhaps a smaller group, Willow is very happy left in a creche without me for 2 hours at a time, the group is a lot smaller, and has a good adult to child ratiio.
  • my daughter was the same at 2 1/2 we increased her to 3 sessions a week as we thought that 7 days between sessions was too long , shes now just turned 3 and is even going for her lunch,image we get the odd tear now and then but i would persevere, do you have another on the way ???
  • hi, i worked in playschool for few years, a lot of children r like this at first but believe me it gets better, just give her chance and just let her know u wil be back for her shortly.
  • hi again. maybe you could try a local mother and toddler group, where you can stay with her. i run one twice a week and most children are ok when they go to nursery/playgroup. she can wander away from you but also see that you are there. and she can come to you when ever she feels. they are alot cheaper than playgroups and also give you the chance to socialise with other mums. give it a try and see how you get on.xx
  • hi thanks for advise, i worked in a play school too and know what your saying, but the other thing is there is a lot of other things going on in her little life at the mo im pregnant, she is going to an allergie clinic due to having food allergies and is also awaiting an operation on her toes which really upset her too we have to almost drag her into the hospital!poor thing,and the group that they have put her in with are all almost 4 and one child did hit her in the face,but since every day and night we have tears about it we cant get her to bed at night as she thinks she has got play school the next day no matter what we say so we are thinking more towards taking her to smaller toddler groups ie the big soft play area near us do a toddler group so we can stay
  • Hi, also another thing you could try is leaving her then returning after say 30 mins then leave her again and return in say 45 mins and so on. x im sure it will all work out soon and you wont be able to get her away from the place. x
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