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Returning LO to bed!

Lily is 19 months and has been in a toddler bed for about a month. For the first three weeks we had no problems - she went down as she always did in her cot, without a murmur, and slept through.

She has recently understood that there is now nothing stopping her getting out of bed, so she is getting out around 20-30 times every evening in the hour after we put her down. She also often comes in to us in the middle of the night, probably twice on average. We use the same technique every time: pick her up, say "Lily, you must stay in bed. It's time to go to sleep", put her down, say "Night night, Lily, love you", then leave, pulling the door to.

The thing is, she's not a naughty child. She doesn't seem to be doing it for amusement - if anything, when we pick her up she seems confused, flopping against us and shutting her eyes, and perfectly happy to be put back in bed. For this reason we're reluctant to actually tell her off - we just keep the tone firm but quiet. We both do and say the exact same thing.

What do/would you do? Do you think we're approaching this the right way? If you've been through this and come out the other end, how long did it take your toddler to go down first time and stay down?

Replies

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    Sorry i realise my original reply was a bit lengthy and irrelevant really. You are definately doing the right thing x x



    [Modified by: Mez+1.5 on July 15, 2010 09:47 PM]

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    Hi there

    Sounds like you are doing the right thing to me - is her door shut and she's opening it? And what about your door if she's getting into your room? Just thinking it through!
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    All the doors upstairs have those rubbery things sitting on top of them to stop them slamming and trapping little fingers. We leave our door open at night, but pull all the other doors including Lily's shut as far as the rubber things will allow, so just enough space for her to get her hand round and pull it open.

    I thought of shutting it altogether but am not comfortable with this. I'd rather teach her she has to stay in bed rather than just confine her to her room.
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    You are doing what we did, it went on for about 3 weeks and we felt like giving up then she just stopped! Sometimes now she'll get back out of bed and stand at the top of the stairs but when we ask her to go back to bed, she just goes. So I would persevere. xx
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    Fair snuff PTB - you have to be comfy with your decisions and I am sure you are doing the right thing I am sure she will turn the corner!
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    Forgot to say we have never shut Lily's door. Not sure why really, but have always left it open a little.. x
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    I'm afraid to say that we have had this problem for nearly six months now and we just cannot find a solution.

    Isabelle used to be a fantastic sleeper, I would pop her into her cot at 7pm and she would be out like a light until 7am the next day. As soon as we put her into a bed, bedtime became a nightmare.

    We have tried everything, put her bedtime back, cut her daytime nap short, tried the rapid return technique and even holding the door closed (which I hated and didn't do for long!!), we tried the Groclock and none of them have worked. We have always closed her door, I don't have a problem with this but she can open doors and so we put a gate on her door. This helped to keep her in her room, but she will still get up and open the door and sit there until we go to her.

    This problem is really starting to become an issue because she is taking so long to go to sleep and she then wakes early the next morning that she is so tired in the day and then ends up napping either in the car or several times I have found her asleep on the sofa (something she has never previously done!)

    So I am probably not the best person to advise you how to deal with it and every child is different. All I can say is that most of my mummy friends with children the same age are having similar problems and so it seems it is a normal phase they go through.

    Good luck and I really hope that it passes for you soon!
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    Hi there, How about a gate on the door entrance?? I can understand you not wanting to shut the door as I don't but I have always had a stair gate on his door as I can not fit one at the top of the stairs.
    This way he can come to the door entrance and call for us and his door is opposite our bedroom door so I can also see him when we're in bed.

    But the main thing is he can't get out and get into mischief in the bathroom or fall down the stairs, or get in to the habit of coming into bed with us

    hope that helps x

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    well when my toddler first started going to bed she went down no problem. I always leave her door open but we have a stair gate in the door so she doesnt come out of the room. Sometimes i put her down to sleep and i hear her pottering about her room and she has got her books out to read in bed with her. I noticed you said you dont want to confine her to her bedroom.. but at nightime that where she should be. |If you put a stair gate in and left her door open she wouldn't feel trapped but the gate would just form a barrier to stop her leaving her room so she know its where she has to be and she might just get back into bed herself. It worked for us anyway just a thought hope you work it out xx
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    Thank you for the replies! It's so frustrating, isn't it, especially when she was such a good sleeper until the switch over!

    GnT, when I said I didn't want to confine her to her room I didn't mean I was happy for her to roam about upstairs. I meant, I'm not even happy with her roaming round her room - I want her IN BED! This is why we don't really want to put a stairgate on her door - I want her to understand she should be in bed, not simply in her room.

    We're just going to persevere for a fortnight and if nothing improves look at other solutions. This morning rather than coming in to find us when she woke up she stayed sitting on her bed and called for her daddy to get her, and we had a few tears tonight which is very unusual, so I am hoping this is her beginning to understand what it being asked of her. Hope everyone who has this problem finds a solution soon!
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    Aww, Lily would sit in bed and call for us in a morning too...now she just barges into our room saying wake up mummy, wake up daddy!

    Hope you get somewhere in the next two weeks! xx
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    Just a little update!

    We had some EXCELLENT sleeping shortly after I posted this - going down with no arguments and no night-time visits.

    However, after a week of this she's now reverted, getting up straight away after being put to bed, and once she's finally down, still coming to find us anywhere between midnight - 4am. Aargh! So we've still not cracked it! :roll:
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    sounds like you're taking the right approach to me. We did a similar thing when ds1 went into a bed aged 17m. He is good as gold now at 2 half, so they do get it eventually!

    will put ds2 into a bed in the new year when he is 17m. I will be back on here asking advice, he is already a nightmare, not naughty as such, but very mischievous!!

    xxx
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