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what to do when other children snatch from your child?....

hi there...
wondered if anyone felt the same as me or has any tips!

im a stay at home mum and have taught my little boy never to snatch and take things from other children (he's 20 months old). he's such a good boy and never does this.... He always waits so patiently for toys when others are playing with them and he shares all his toys etc......

it infuriates me when other children (at toddler groups or friends houses) just simply snatch toys from him.. as he looks so upset and devistated. Or they say 'mine' ... 'no, its not yours'... etc
I know kids will try these things and dont mean any harm but the mothers never seem to tell their children!

I know its also their toys sometimes but they should all be told to learn to share!... drives me mad.. because my son is so good with it.

Any ideas?.. feels too awkard to tell other peoples kids to give the toys back.. but then I feel im letting him down and letting others do it to him when he never does this to anyone else.

Is it just me???


  • I really struggle with this at playgroups, there is one particular little boy who is about 3, he won't let Neve (who is 13 months) play with the kitchen and pushes her over when she comes near it or snatches whatever she is holding. He is there with a childminder and she never seems to see so I go over and tell him firmly not to push/snatch and then take Neve away. I don't care what the chidminder thinks anymore - she should be grateful I haven't shoved the little sod back!
  • I tell other kids. there is this badly behaved brat that comes to playgroup sometimes and he charges all over the smaller kids and his mum justs says 'oh don't be so rough' and I won't move out of the way when he tries to barge past me, and if he tries to shove past Cole i'll stop him. I'll do the same thing if any kids try and get on any of the ride on toys if he's on there - tell them to wait but then I do get cole to come off if he's been on a while, and I won't have people snatching off him. Fortunately cole saves the snatching of toys for when we get together with my friend and her kids - and we just peacekeep between the kids as they learn to share

    One kid one day ran up behind cole and pushed him over and i was so shocked i never said anything - wish i had though cause her mother just sat there chatting and never told her off!

    Definately stick up for your lo if you think someone else's kid has taken a toy unfairly - the little buggers have to learn from somewhere to share and if their parents aren't going to teach them then then i guess someone needs to. Not had any angry parents having a go at me for sticking up for my boy yet!!

  • hiya..i have to say Chloe (18months) is the one that snatchesimage lol, but i do tell her its naughty and we are making a little progress with sharing image
  • I would snatch back and throw a major strop lol lol................................nah only jocking lol!!!

    Ok what I do is tell the child very loudly(so the parent can hear !!) that your child had it first and please give it back as its not nice to snatch and they wouldnt like it if it was done to them??? If that dont work then try my joking comment lol!!! nah I would see the mother or just try and get if back nicely but firmly from the little brat that took it !!!

    I have noticed alot of mums at toddler groups dont bother to sort it out even when they see their child snatching.... why do they think its acceptable?? I was always brought up to wait my turn and share and so pass that on to my kids.
  • hi babs 3....i think people dont sort it out as they cant deal with the tantrum that follows and want an easy life so ignore it...which obviously isnt the right think to do...but some ppl aere just like this im afraid x
  • Also form another point of view, it Neve had pushed a child or snatched and I wasn't there or hadn't see, then as long as it was done FAIRLY I would be fine with someone telling her that no its not nice to do that and taking the toy off of her.
  • My son also used to have toys snatched off him and then when he was about 2 and a half he became the one that snatched and was even a bit rough at times. This has lasted about a year! He is now becoming really good again at sharing and being gentle with lo's. It seems to have taken an age.
    At toddler groups it's hard sometimes to keep an eye on both your children at the same time and if I see him doing something he shouldn't I tell him straight away. Quite often the other mum will say don't worry as their lo has moved on to something else but thats not the POINT!
    I would like my child to be a kind child and snatching is something that most children will go through but that doesn't make it ok! I'm mortified if my child does anything really horrid like shoving. I have been in a position when other parents have told my child off and its completely acceptable. I appreciate it because they are backing up good manners in my child. Also it is likely that my child will obey the other parent more than he would me! If my child doesn't do as he asks i would step in and reiterate whatever he was being told as i wouldn't expect someone else to discipline my child. if the matter was resolved I would thank them for resolving it and apologise for the behaviour. They then know you are at least aware of what happened and that you don't mind that they had to say something to your child. It is difficult to be aware of what your child is doing all the time if you are chatting or pre-occupied with a younger one.
    Recently I saw a child snatch a toy off a younger one and i said 'thats not very nice he was playing with that could you please give it back.' he just turned around and said no! He carried on playing with the toy and I didn't know how to follow that up. It wasn't my lo and I could hardly 'snatch' the toy back or insist on it as it wasn't my child either. It was also my first day at a new playgroup so i didn't know the mum and so i just left it but it is a horrible feeling that i let the lo down!
  • hi there well i have to say that i think ALL children go through this snatching phase no matter how good their parents teach them not to ...i have always tried to teach jack to share toys but he still does snatch sometimes ...i deal with this by taking the toy off him and giving it to the child who had it 1st and taking jack to find something else to play with ...if its the other way round i dont tell the other child off as i feel its the parents job (unless its my friends children in which case i ask nicely for it back) i just tell jack that the other child doesnt want to share which isnt very nice and we will just go and do something else .....all children will grow out of this phase so i just ride through it and dont let myself get to het up over things ....i just want to add that i took my son to a play circus thing last week and their was a dad and son building with big blocks ...jack went to join in and the dad said to him "can u go away me and my son want to do this alone"!!!!!! image so i guess that child will learn that he doesnt have to share as this is what his stupid dad is teaching him :roll: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • This happens alot to my 15 month old. we have only been goin to toddler/playgroup for a couple of months he loves other children and loves sharing everything if someone else wants what he has and asks for it he will quite happily give it to them, if it is snatched he gets upset and has started having tantrums..... i dont like seeing him upset so if it is a child that is 3 or more i will say to them that he was playing with it and to let him have it back normally they are shocked and give it back if they dont then i take it back off them (very childish i no) if it is a child that is younger then i will let it go as you cant really explain it to a baby lol although he doesnt mind if it is a baby that takes his stuff as he seems to understand and will play with something else.. he is a lovely little boy with a lovely caring nature he loves babies and children and is very gentle i know he has to socialise but no matter what playgroup i take him to there are lots of horrible children hopefully he wont pick up to much on their behaviour because thats not how he's been raised. i stopped seeing one of my friends as her 3 yr old was a horrible little boy and constantly hit my son it made me so angry that i had to hold back from hittting him back on one occasion i pushed him onto the floor as he wouldnt stop hitting him then he told his mum i punched him in the face (my son was only a week old when he stared hitting him very hard normally in the face)

    i do think that every child goes through that stage but some kids are worse thhan others and they do need to be told that it is wrong otherwise they think it is ok.....


  • hi what age can u stop them from snatching??? when they r old enough to understand?? like over 1?millie snatches but she is only 6 months lol i like coming on here and reading stuff as it lets me know what im in for hehe x x
  • Chuffedbaby2 - I can't believe the dad said that!
  • princessjane - cole is 14 months and for the last few months i've tried to mediate when snatching. He only really does it when my friends 2yo is playing with his toys and when cole was younger it was more for the 2yo's sake than cole's as he was old enough to be upset at the snatching - although it was usually just distracting one of the boys with another toy. If he took stuff off my friends baby then one of us would just generally give her something else to play with as she wasn't bothered - now he brings her stuff- probably cause she can't get up and take his toys herself yet!!

    chuffedbaby..omg what a rude dad. i'd have let cole play anyway if there were plenty of bricks but i'm arsy like that lol.

    I was very annoyed today - took cole to the playground on the way home and it has a small section fenced off for little kids and there were 4 boys around 7 or 8 playing in there being quite rough on the seesaw and its not right that parents let them in there when there were little kids in there. i made a loud comment about cole not to go near the bigger rough boys but i guess i didn't say it loud enough for the parents to hear - they were sat on a bench in the other bit with tea and biscuits!
  • After some bad experiences my almost 3yo son thinks that when another child approach him they would snatch it away from him. He would be realy upset when someone touches what he is holding and doesn't like other children coming to our house for playdates with him. 

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