Forum home Toddlers & older children Toddler

potty training question

evie is now28months, and i'd really thought she'd be easy to potty train... turns out she's not.

ive tried once for 3days intensively but we made no progress, she can do poo's no problems but with wee's i dont think we've gotten to the potty once.

if ever i ask her just to sit on the potty, to watch tv or read a book she refuses point blank, its like she's afraid of it. and she also strains each time she sits there as if to push out a poo. i've tried explaining gently that wee'd are different and she doesnt need to strain. im wondering if it's hurt her tummy?

the other day she was at her little friends house who is 4month younger and is getting on great with training. whilst i wasnt there evie copied emily and did a wee. we gave her loads of praise and asked if she'd like to try again at home.

she does at first get excited about wearing big girl knickers but then when the potty comes out i can almost see fear on her face. ive tried to take the pressure away saying that she doesnt have to do anything on it and just to have a little try but she gets upset and asks for her nappy.

Now, she's such a bright little girl, i think she's *thinking* about it too much and worrying herself. i have a feeling once she's done a few wee's on there that there will be no stopping her and she'll be dry soon after. i just don't know how to stop her being frightened.

i would ideally like her to be dry by august when baby no2 comes. i feel hugely under pressure as well as keep getting it from friends and family that "oh such n such was trained by 18months" which i know shouldnt matter, but i just feel evie's getting a little old for nappies. am i wrong?

i've never portrayed to evie that we're in a hurry. ive tried to be really relaxed. anu suggestins anybody as to how we can take the first steps? xx

Replies

  • Can't really help as such as Charlotte will sit on the potty but not do anything yet! I'm just letting her do it at her pace and then maybe in the summer when she's 2 and half try and "push" it more then.

    I was actually surprised when Charlotte had her 2 yr check. My hv said best time to potty train is actually 3 and half when they should have full control of functions and can recognise when they need to go etc. She said it's simply down to society and nurseries/playgroups wanting them toilet trained early (say 2 and half) that is making parents potty train too early in her eyes.

    I can understand you want it sorted before lo no2 arrives. Before my mmc in Jan, I was due this July and I was getting worried about potty training before baby arrived.
  • hayley I think i'm going to print your reply out and show my MIL!!!

    She actually told my hubby that we'd failed Shea by not having him potty trained yet and he's just 2 1/2!!!!

    and i'm working f/t too!! The cheek of her!!! so seeing your comment on the hv has made me feel a bit better

    i've learnt with Shea not to push things too hard as it puts him off, so I leave the potty accessilbe and he often asks to go on and i've decided he'll do it when he's ready
  • hi hun, as others have said august is a long way off once she decides that she wants to do it she will be trained in a matter of weeks.
    If you think that she has become afraid of the potty then maybe try leaving it completely for a month or so and then starting again perhaps trying a seat for the toilet instead of the potty.
    dont worry about her being too old for nappies she will do it when she feels comfortable with it, if she is scared then leave it for a while or it might do more harm than good.

    Freya would not go near the potty, if i tried to get her to sit on it she would go mad, until one day about 7 weeks ago now she wanted her nappy off so i tought ok but didnt expect any thing and she went and sat on the potty and did a wee!! i couldnt belive it and she hasnt worn a nappy in the day since! she has now not worn a nappy at night for more than 2 weeks either.

    Potty training shouldnt be hard, if they are ready then they will more or less train them selves. Also being ready isnt about your child being bright or advanced its just about when they are happy and feel confident enough to do it.
    so dont stress, she will do it in her own time. xxxx
  • hayden is only 18 months but has seen my three year old neice potty training since last summer (she has been dry for a good while but still likes to sit on the potty, so cute when they are side by side on a potty each!) and he has shown a real keen interest in sitting on the potty and now in the past few weeks actually doing things in it. i have put it down to watching anna and don't relly think he would be doing anything if he hadnt seen her using it. do you think seeing your friends wee one using it more might help as a reasurance and encouragment?
  • I would say leave it for another month then try again, there is no real rush and much as you aren't putting any pressure on her I'm sure she'll sense something as I know Poppy did. I tried (albeit half-heartedly) a couple of times before and was not very successful at all so left it. I then tried about 2 months ago, just took her nappy off one day and it's never been back on and to date we've had one accident (which was last week). She's been dry at night (no nappy) for about 6 weeks or so now too.
    I found the process much easier than I was expecting but I think it's because I waited until she was ready and was actually asking to be taken for a wee.
    Would she prefer the toilet do you think? I let Poppy pick a special seat for on the toilet and then she was interested in it more.
    xxx
  • I done the same with Kara as Poppy did. I waited until I felt Kara might be ready and seemed interested. I did think it would be a nighmare to be honest but it wasn't as hard as I imagined. She was 28 months and once I took her nappy off her and got her used to pants I think she preferred the comfort and it was easier. I didn't use a potty at all. I went straight to the toilet and so glad I did. I found it easier and Kara didn't like the potty at all and has never sat on it once. Maybe you should try this method. Could be a case she wants to be a big girl and go on the big toilet. Kara is trained now just over 1 month and we had one accident that was my fault for not coming to her quick enough. We don't have to worry about bringing a potty with us as there is always toilets about. What I have found though is that Kara has excellent control and has had from day 1. I do believe this is down to not putting pressue on her and waiting until she was ready. It only took a me a few days and I took a week off work lol. At least I got to enjoy the rest of my work and it was not as stressful as I thought it would be. I do have a nappy on at night though as she is diabetic and her sugars are high at night so she wets more. Most nights though she does wake up during the night to go and in the morning is dry. This has only started since she was trained.

    Dont stress yourself and I agree to take some time away and maybe try again in about 2 weeks and see how you go.

    Good luck.
  • Thanks so much for your replies! i do see that i shouldn't pressure myself so much. That was really interesting to hear about 3-3 1/2 being the best age!

    i'm just sick of hearing that she should be trained etc and although my own mum would never dare to comment negatively i often sense from her that she thinks I should be trying harder to train her.

    As it happens, after i posted this yesterday She did a wee willingly on her potty! i was amazed and gave her so much praise! she then had a nappy on for a while as we went out and about but in the afternoon when my mum had her, she did another on the potty! so hey ho, looks like she might be ready and willing after all. I'll take it easy though.

    thank you everyone xxxxx
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions