how can i sort him out? PLEASE HELP

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  laurenfaith

  Mar 5, 2007 3:16PM

  have you spoke to the health visitor? you could try shortning the reward time to every day till he gets used to it then make it every 2 days and keep stretching it out?

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  Anitarobbo

  Mar 5, 2007 3:40PM

  does he have any behaviors that seem odd to you, does he get really upset when you change his routine or anything like that, the reason i ask is that he sounds alot like my little boy at that age then my mother in law sugested happening him tested for autistic spectrum disorder and we found out he has it, it doesn't help his behavior but knowing whats causing it can make all the difference because you know what your fighting and how to deal with it better for example jason has a very strict routine he has a visual timetable to see what he does at each time he has a sticker chart but it's broken into smaller time slots say 3 hours at a time, there are a lot of other things that can cause behavior like this anything from allegies to adhd but it could be someting as simple as a child picking on him at school or having problems understanding people that makes him frustrated but if you think it could be a medical problem i can email loads of information as i help run a parent support group for that sort off thing also if you have a sure start near you ask about their behavior groups as they can give you different techniques to try, i hope this helps please don't hesitate to ask for anything....anita xx

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  MummytoKKandNaiNai

  Mar 5, 2007 3:42PM

  do u praise him when he does somethin good, no matter how small? some people tend to tell a child when they r being naughty but do not praise them when they r good. does he help u at all around the house cos it will give him a sense of worth when he knows he's helping his mummy & it gives u time together,also what have the teachers suggested, its all good them continuously calling u to the school but r they actually tryin to find solutions or r they just givin up on him. I am a nursery nurse & unless a child was causing the other children danger we never really called the parents because we as teachers need to try every possible avenue 1st, we need 2 make the child feel comfortable. does it seem like he gets attention from the teachers cos mayb thats his way of gettin attention (even if it negative attention) thats his way of bein noticed. At home does he seem jealous having to share u with ur daughter?

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  MummytoKKandNaiNai

  Mar 5, 2007 3:48PM

  There are also certain types of food that trigger certain behaviour in children!

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  sammy07xx

  Mar 5, 2007 5:15PM

  thanks for all your posts first to ANITA he has had the same routine since i can remember i always do things at the same time everyday with him and my little girl ie dinner time bath time bedtime what time we get up in the morning ect When it come to helppin round the house i dont really ask him to help do much apart from maybe get me somethink or ask him to put his toys away which he has been playing with as i do my 2 year old to but where she will be glad to do things if my boy dont want to he starts misbehaving.
  
  The teachers in his school are also conserned about him and have arange for someone to come into school on the 23rd march to see him alone with me so hopeful i may get some answers from that figers crossed.
  
  maybe if you could email me some stuff anita that would be very helpful at less i can get a bit of a head start if he dose happen to have somethink like adhd

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  Anitarobbo

  Mar 5, 2007 5:26PM

  ok if you send me your email address i'll see what i can dig out and send it over in the morning once the kids are at school, it's good that you have got the school support because that makes all the difference as the first school jason went to they just let him get on with it and took no notice when he went into one but where he is now they are brilliant.....anita xx (my email is anita_82@hotmail.co.uk)

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  MummytoKKandNaiNai

  Mar 5, 2007 5:29PM

  Best of luck, there was a little boy who had a disability (autism) He was very agressive & even gave me a cut eye cos he threw a box at my face but he had speaking problems & his disability was obvious. He couldnt sit down for long periods being 3-4mins or concentrate at all. Hopefully the school will bring in a person to assess ur son during his day at school & how he interacts with other children. We did this for the little boy im speaking of & he was diagnosed very quickly. I hope all goes well for u. Tess*

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  Anitarobbo

  Mar 5, 2007 5:45PM

  it isn't always obvious tho i was actually convinced for about 4 years it was something i had done wrong because everyone just told me he was just naughty or jealous of my other one etc deep down i knew something wasn't right but him being the oldest i had no real comparison so finally getting a diagnosis for asd was great because at least i could get information on the best way to deal with it. the problem is when people think of autism its the severe cases that spring to mind the really aggressive children who can't speak alot but the autistic spectrum is such a wide range of dysorders that you can be in 3 or 4 places on it all at once for example jason has aspergers with autistic features and dyspraxia but it is just classed as autistic spectrum disorder, it's good that there are people like you that are nursery nurses and can see when there is a problem rather than just ignoring it like what happened with jason i'd love to see have much better he would be now had it been picked up in nursery...anita xx

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  MummytoKKandNaiNai

  Mar 5, 2007 5:56PM

  I really love & care bout the children in the nursery, i think its bcos i love kids. My o/h's nethew is border line autistic & i agree with everythin u have said. He is nothin like the little boy at the nursery. He is not violent unless he's extremely confused or somethin hasnt been explained properly 2 him & his speech is a couple yrs behind but he has more awareness. I think his mum was in denial, as soon as i met him i knew somethin was not right, it was like he didnt spk english or any other language, only he could understand what he was sayin (he was 3 at the time) but his mum neva really mentioned it. But now he gets extra help at school & he is progressin slowly.

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  bumps1

  Mar 10, 2007 9:31AM

  My daughter has also been through that stage at school over the last few weeks.she even went through the stage of hitting me too. everytime she was naughty at school/home we would take a toy from her and made out we put it in the wheelie bin. she got really upset over this but it has worked.

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  suzanneHolden

  Mar 28, 2007 6:33PM

  Do you have any one to one time with him like at bed time where it's just you and him so you can time to reflect on things that have happened that day??
  
  If it's only just been since september then it sounds like it could be an anxiety problem or that he feels he's not getting enough attention.
  
  
  anxious of the things being asked of him at school perhaps? or
  
  Like.... big school lots of children in his class and then at home lots of people. The only way he's getting attention whether it's good or bad is to misbehave?
  I know he's only four but kids are really clever these days try talking to him say things like.... I was really worried today i nearly got lost.... Do you ever get worried? or a lady bumped into me today do you know how it made me feel? if you hurt someone at school how do you think that would make them feel?
  
  I know it sounds like bunkum and head shrinking stuff but it may work and you might get to the bottom of why he's behaving like that maybe theres an underlying problem at school he doesn't feel he's able to talk about? Hope i haven't waffled to much and i hope this helps good luck

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  suzanneHolden

  Mar 28, 2007 6:36PM

  tess i've just read your reply properly i'm a nursery nure too and cant you tell ha ha

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