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Hi girls, i know i dont post very often more but this is really bugging me.

I have a friend with a lo just a few months younger than Harri and they are both about the same level development wise and are both great kids, they are 2. the last few times ive been with my friend and her lo at the park ive noticed that she follows her lo around everywere, doesnt let her do anything with even the slightest risk to it, and freaks when she goes even a few steps out of reach she freaks were as im happy to let harri get on with it aslong as i can see what hes doing so i can intervene if i need to. I dont feel the need to follow him around the park, i know what he can handle and to be honest hes a very confident and capable little boy.

Now am i being under protective? should i be by his side constantly ready to catch him up and cuddle him if at every fall or trip? should i be more like my friend and protect him from everything 'just incase'? i

this is really bugging me so any opinions would be great



  • Thanks lara and yes you're right of course it depends on the circumstances, obviously i would never let him run around in the street or at the pool ect. my friends lo is very clever and i feel that if she doesnt let her have these little experiences that when a time comes where she isnt there to stop her or catch her that it will be very distressing for both her and the lo. xx
  • I'm more like you - obviously again depending on circumstances. When we go to the playground if he's in the toddler area I don't follow him round as its fenced in but in the main area I do as he could run off.. and particularly being pregnant now I can't keep up with him if he gets too much of a head start.

    He goes on the big slides and whatever else without a problem, and I live in hope htat one day he'll learn from doing something stupid and not do it again... not convinced its going to happen though lol.

    If he falls over and we know he's not really hurt we just encourage him to get up and dust off and get on with playing - obviously if he's really hurt we do comfort him but I don't want to be mollycoddling him with every little bump or he'll turn into a wet and whinging little horror!!
  • I'm with you - if we are in an enclosed park or safe area (like you suggest) I tend to sit on a bench where I can see Max and let him get on with it - he comes to get me if he needs help to get on something etc. He needs to learn somethings himself and I am on hand if anything needs my intervention! I have to say being heavily pregnant was a great excuse for sitting and watching too but I think what you are doing is fine!
  • It's always interesting watching other parents at the park! Last time I was there was this one mum who sounds a bit like your friend, she just wouldn't let her son do anything by himself and was even going on the slide with him and up the climbing frame behind him. He was perfectly capable of doing it himself, but how will he ever learn?

    On the other hand there was this daredevil dad who was sending his 8 month old head first down the slide, which is a rather extreme the other way I think!

    With everything it's about striking the right balance between giving them the opportunity to learn and explore, but being there for them when they need you.

    It sounds as if you have the right attitude!
  • Im the same kia, i know when harri has really hurt himself because he cries, ive even seen him do something, thought to myself "omg thats got to have hurt, wait for it" but hes just carried on or said "owww" then forgotten all about him. mrs s thats a bit extreme with the 8 month old! is it because my friends lo is a girl do you think? x
  • Maybe it is cuase she's a girl, but if my baby no 2 is a girl then we'll be exactly the same with the not too overprotective!

    Cole does dumb things like jumps off the top of his slide (only a toddler one) whimpers cause he's hurt himself jumping off and then goes and does it again so he gets no sympathy ... he can always stop doing it! I do stand right behind him when he climbs up the ladder to the big slide but sometimes he needs an extra shove up the backside... still at least if he falls at the playground its that soft concrete stuff - unlike friday night when he toppled backwards onto our flags and cracked his head poor boy.

    Defiantely a bit extreme putting an 8 month old head first down the slide..we didn't teach cole that one at all... he does enough daft things he doens't need to be taught more.. he did manage to figure it out for himself though sigh!!
  • I am more like your friend, with good reason I think, I don't go down the slide with him (he's 2) but I'm always there to 'spot' for him on the climbing equipment as he has no fear and would probably do some sort of suicide leap if I wasn't there to catch him. Gabe is very fast at climbing and a complete liability. I have known him to climb onto the back of the sofa and jump off it!

    In soft play areas, I let him do his own thing, because it's less dangerous. I still go in with him though. I think it's a personal thing dependent on the child, I wouldnt say I'm overprotective I'd probably be different if my lo was x
  • I'm sort of mid-range on this one. I do tend to follow Evie about the park.. but to be honest it's less about safety and more about "playing" with her. I hate to see her playing on her own, nobody to laugh with or have a bit banter with. I'm capeable of having fun with her... so I'd rather be close by to chat with her than sit on my own, and have her play on her own. She plays on her own when we're at home plenty. She seems to like mammy joining in the fun when we're out.

    If we're at the park with friends though she happily runs off and plays with them. And thats fine, i will sit back! Most things she can climb up independently but I do get nervous when she's climbing up high things as she can be so clumsy and I'd much rather be within "catching" distance than have her crack her nut. I try to encourage her to try everything, even the bigger climbing frames and more difficult things, and I encourage her to do it on her own but sometimes she needs an extra shove!

    With softplays... I'd be more than happy for her to run off and do her own thing, as it's all cushioned really, much less for her to get hurt on... but I tend to go in with her purely just for fun! If she makes friends whilst in the softplay (she often latches onto older girls who take a shine to her) then I will back off and leave her to it though image
  • Oh god im the mum that goes up the slide and stands behind her on the climbing frame :\(
  • I used to follow ds1 around, but on;y as he has coordination problems, so climbing etc was a challenge and he would often need help. However now I don't bother! ds2 is 10m and already confidently walking, so I follow him instead! lol

    Sounds like you're giving lo the confidence to do things on his own, but still there if he needs you.

  • I am definitely more like you and think what you're doing is fine. It's great that he's getting the message that you think he's capable of getting on with things himself. We've always given our ds quite a bit of freedom and I can see the confidence that comes from this.
    We always know where he is and what he's doing though. We have to keep an eye on him as he is one of those very adventurous toddlers with no sense of danger!
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