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3yr old doesnt want to go with her dad

wannanotherwannanother
in Toddler
hi there, i have an almost 3 year old daughter, and me and her dad split when she was 3 months old and i am now married to a great guy ive been with since my daughter was 9 months old and he is great with her. (and we arennow expecting another!!)/ my daughter sees her natural dad (who she does call 'daddy') usually 2 afternoons per week, but more and more she does not want to go with him. i know she is only 3 and cannot know what is best for her but i just wondered what would happen if this kept going on and on til shes older, do i have to make her see him. she has never stayed overnight with him, (he wont take her overnight as he only has one bedroom). he has another baby with a girl he is no longer with either and also sees this child one or 2 afternoons as far as i know.my child has no contact wth his other child, by arrangement by the other mum) ...me and her dad get on reasonably but i cant bare the heartache it causes to her to have to go with him. He says she is fine once she is away with him and she does seem ok when he brings her back.

Today he came over to get her and she didnt want to go, and for the first time we just let her stay with me.(she wasnt crying or anything just plainly said she wanted to stay with mummy today).. then when he left she said "im sad mummy" and i asked why and said "is it because you didnt go with daddy?do you want to go with daddy?" and she said "no, i sad when daddy comes over". i was almost in tears, the wee lamb!!

so i think im jst really looking for an opinion on the situation.

Replies

  • mumto225mumto225
    god thats a hard one!! i just wondered what they do together and if he is interested in her? maybe she is just bored when she goes to his and it's more fun to stay with mummy!! maybe you could suggest that he takes her out somewhere, personally i wouldn't force her to go though, if he still wants to see her every week he could come round for a while (may not be ideal for you though! image ) x.
  • wannanotherwannanother
    hi thanks, he does take her loads of places pizza hut, parks, they play with kites, everything!and he takes her to see his wee nephew and niece who she loves to play with. he does seem to show an interest in her, but its the bare minimum at times...i mean he does love her but sometimes i feel its for show in front of people. i know that sounds nasty and it might just be my imagination but he acts differently in front of people, like my parents, like showing off with her sort of, if you now what i mean, (like look at my fab daughter) when really he had nothing to do with her upbringing, her behaviour and how clever she is.he acts like i owe him something because he sees her, as the mum to his other child really wanted him to stop seeing my daughter , and he always brings it up that him and her split cause he chose our daughter over his girlfriend (isnt that what anyone would/should do?)...anyway i feel like im rambling on and not getting anywhere...him coming over here would not be good, as he up until recently was sending me drunken tests and stuff and now the arrangement is he collects elise and thats it at the door
  • laurenfaithlaurenfaith
    we have a similar problem with my partners daughter but she has almost grown out of it now sometimes she doesnt want to come with us then others she doesnt want to go home but we just stuck with it and over time she has lernt she just has to go with the flow but its terrible to watch when she is upset there has been times years ago now that her mum had to peal her off my other half and drag her in thank god she no longer does that !!
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