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Picking myself apart..

here go's...

I dont take lo swimming enough even though he loves it.

Im 12wks pregnant and shattered so for the past week lo's had cbeebies overload.

I havn't been to many toddler groups (Im v.shy)so Eoin only has a few close friends he see's regulary.. maybe 5..

I dont do messy play enough, maybe once a week.

I get aggitated when Eoin takes so long to eat sometimes, even though I know I shouldn't!

There, do I feel better? A little..
Sorry girls, hormonal day, needed an outlet, thanks for listening xxx

Replies

  • go on then, if its pick yourself apart day i'll have a go too!!

    I feel guilty for working too much and not spending enough time with Shea.
    i don't take Shea swimming hardly anymore as working fulltime and don't seem to have enough time on weekends (ditto with the soft play too!!)
    i feel a total failure with Shea's food, won't eat any veg and seems to live on pasta and tom sauce or nuggets and chips
    feel guilty that I went out to a ball sat night and felt incredibly hungover yesterday and all I wanted Shea to do was be quiet and watch finding nemo with us!!!!!!

    there you go I feel a bit better now

    ps. you are entitled to be hormonal - YOU ARE PG!!!!
    XX
  • Oh sweetie, don't worry I can honestly say I often do most things on your list and I have no excuse (not pregnant)

    I think it's perfectly normal to feel this way. We all think there are things we could do better, but the reality is that our lo's are well loved, happy wee toddlers and you can't ask for anything more than that.
    Hope rest of your day is better. S x

  • Just wanted to say I felt exactly like that at 12 weeks pregnant - I felt so guilty at the CBeebies overload but it really is short term, and doesn't do any harm! I'm now 28 weeks (and a different sort of shattered) and have managed to ration the TV lot more.

    I'm shy too, but I;d try and find a toddler group to give a go if I were you - I used to be put off but now I find them a godsend - it's ready-made entertainment for lo when you're feeling shattered, and allows him to burn some energy off and get rid of some cabin fever.

    Oh, and I don't do enough (or any!) messy play either! And we used to have swimming lessons, stopped mid-November and I was still going to take him every week - we've been twice!

    I'm sure you feel it a lot more than he does though!
  • Your growing a little playmate for him so don't feel guilt! You are giving him one of the best things you can....a sibling to love and grow up with!

    As for the rest
    messy play...once a week..your a super star!!!!!!
    Swimming...the fact you take him at all is brilliant.
    Cbeebies...my kids quote amazing facts at me and I ask how they know it and quite often they say on waybuloo or something that is on tv... tv these days is a teacher and a nanny service..lol
    Tiredness...you cant help that. Rest if you are tired as a rested mum is better than an overtired snappy one (me most days!)

    I always carry guilt like an extra handbag...

    guilt that

    I have 5 kids and not enough time for one to one with them all
    that I shout, nag, too much
    I find the negative too quickly rather than the positive.
    Guilt that I dont make enough home made meals from scratch
    I dont get enough time to do as much homework/reading as i would like
    I am always tired!
    Guilt that my kids have allergies, eczema, asthma, dyslexia etc (not all of them but some have one or the other and one has the whole bloody lot)

    I could go on and on..

    My point is that we will always feel certain guilt. Its in our job description.

    I am trying to put positive praise into action. Its so hard tho as when they are playing nice and quiet why on earth would I go and tell them so. If I do they get disturbed and stop playing... lol No, really, it does work as they love to be praised.

    BTW I run a baby group and I always try to make the new mums feel involved. I get very arsey with the mums who come and form a clique... the whole point is to meet people not to sit in little groups excluding others... go in ,take a deep breath and find someone with a nice face to start a conversation with....

    d x
  • dont be too hard on yourself it sounds like you are doing a fabby job!

    we all feel guilty for one reason or another,
    with phoebe i felt really guilty that i worked too much and felt like i palmed her off on poeple even though i was only part time.
    with freya i feel guilty that i dont spend as much time doing things like messy play and taking her swimming. Tbh i cant remember the last time i took them! last year some time, how bad is that? phoebe asks all the time too, right this week end i will take them swimming!

    sorry im starting to ramble, just saying that nobody is perfect,but as long as your lo is happy and loved then that is all that matters.
    xxxx
  • OMG i was sitting crying about feeling the same last night to oh,i'm 8 wks have a 3 year old who goes to playgroup in the morning then still has a nap in the afternoon & i find myself counting the mins till she goes to bed so i can have a sleep too & i just feel awful ive never been like this ive always taken her places but at mo i'm just so tired,i know its not forever but the guilt i'm feeling is horrible in the morning i think right today is going to be different were going to do something then the afternoon comes & disney films come on then bed for both of us,don't mean to sound horrible but so pleased im not the only one!
  • Thank you so much girls.. after a read of your replies, and a cry I feel alot better, your all a godsend xx
  • You're all doing a fab job and your so called guilt lists puts me to total shame.
    Lily is 2.5 and has only been swimming twice!
    When I get home from work I love cuddling up with Lily on the sofa - which often means TV overload as it's the only way she'll sit with me!!
    Lily hasn't really got any playmates - my mum used to take her to a toddler group but she ignored all the children there. She now regularly goes to a soft play area where she can interact with kids - but still mostly ignores them.
    We've never done messy play at home (we do lots of crayoning & chalking - but I don't think that counts)
    I could go on and on, but I try not to beat myself up about it. I work full time so I do what I can and Lily is perfectly happy and well developed and I try to focus on the positives - as should we all!!
    xxx
  • OMG i could have written that post, i feel exactly the same, it sounds like your a fab mummy, and reading your post has also really helped me to feel better too, and all the replies are great, so thank you, I'm 12 weeks too this week we must have very close due dates x x x
  • There is always somethign to feel guilty about please try not to worry about it your lo will be very well adjusted and growing him a sibling is a FABULOUS thing to be doing! image
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