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my 19 month old wont eat anything other than beans, pls help

Im absolutely beside myself! Can anyone PLEASE help me...
Im so upset i feel like crying.......

ive tired so hard to get him to eat anything other than bloody baked beans for dinner times, but am increasingly getting frustrated with cooking new things, putting it in front of him and end up throwing it away.....

has anyone else had this problem....
what do i do?

i feel a failure..... he wont eat greens or anything. just want him to be a healthy eater.....

please help with any experience??
i feel so upset now.... its been going on months!

am i supposed to let him go without (my friends keep telling me so...) but i cant help but think he's too young to do things like that..?????

thanks in advance.
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Replies

  • I would leave him to do without! He's probably learned that if he refuses food, mummy will bring him something he prefers!!
    Try feeding him with cold finger foods like sandwiches etc so that if he refuses them to start with, he can go back to them if you leave them within his reach.
    As for veg - you could get some of the fish or chicken shapes that have veg mashed up into them to get him to eat some sneakily!! Or they do spaghetti shapes with veg hidden in it too!

    Try not to let him see you stressed as that will only make it worse!!
    Good luck!
    xx
  • I hate to say it but don't offer him beans. Offer him something else. Maybe peas, they are similar. If he refuses to eat anything, then just get him out of the highchair. He's not going to disappear down the plughole if he doesn't eat dinner. Then next evening, offer anything except beans. The message will sink in and you can give beans on toast as an occasional treat. If Max doesn't eat what I offer him (unless he actually doesn't like the taste in which case he'll shudder and spit it out) then he doesn't eat. It doesn't happen very often, maybe 2 or 3 times but he really has to learn that he can't eat whatever he likes whenever he likes. He's quite good now, though. If he's uninterested in dinner and doesn't eat anything then he doesn't have dinner.
    And actually Max is now 14 months old and doesn't eat a great deal for dinner. He eats loads at breakfast, and lunch, but for dinner he eats a few things but a lot of it he just leaves.
  • i had to reply my son is to 19 months old and oh my god meal times where do i start he used to eat puree dinners all the time no problem now he he only wants things like chips waffles and fish fingers he will eat sandwiches but not very often he wants food he can pick up so dinners are out the question i have put a sunday dinner out cut in cubes o he pick it up but noooo then i pureed it alltogother and he ate a bit more so im back to that well i put the mash(inc carrots cabbage etc) altogother then i put the rest on the side its driving me mad X
  • Preg lady - I'd be tempted to put a small spoon of beans on a plate but put it with something new and then leave your lo to it. I find my lo eats the familiar stuff first which stimulates his tastebuds and, slowly but surely, he starts to try the new stuff. I say slowly cos it can take 10 pus attempts to get him to really tuck into the new stuff without thinking. The one thing is that he knows that once the familar stuff is gone (eg beans) there is no more til next time.
    Happy mom - have you tried do some mashed things (eg potato or carrot & turnip) with more solid things on his plate. My lo is 20 months and still has problems with meat but fish is fairly soft. My HV actually said that, along as you buy good quality ones, fish fingers are actually not at all bad.
    The main thing is not to make an issue out of meal times. Just put the plate in front of them, give them a reasonable time for them to pick at it and then clear it away. No fuss. No shouting. They soon get the message that it's that or nothing. It only becomes a battle if you turn it into one.
  • lol - Im sorry, its not funny but he sounds just like Isaac at 18 months !! When I had my baby he was never jealous or spiteful towards him but he started being a terrible eater, we put it down to his tummy problems at first but then realised it was him him trying to get attention (coz mummy was feeding the baby lots) so never made a big issue with it. Insted I blended things like fish/chicken/veg or mash pots and mixed it in with the beans so u couldnt really recognise it. Once he realsied he wasnt getting any attention he soon started eating other things (although I only did this in the evening) I still offered breakfast and lunch and snacks throughout the day. If he didnt eat it (or show signs of) then I took it away and he had nothing. It did take a fair few weeks.

    It can get VERY frustrating - esp when they were fab eaters in the first place but stick to your guns without getting angry/upset and Im sure this phase will pass. Good luck! xx
  • thanks for all your responses...
    BUT.. can i just ask... if you let them pick and give them no more dinner .. then what do you do about pudding?... as i normally give him a nice healthy yoghurt after or banana... or sometimes choc/rice pud or cake on some occasions?...

    do i still give him these 'deserts' after dinner???

    thanks for all your help.. its much appreciated...
    just need to know about pudding?
  • I am waiting with anticipation for the responses as my lo has suddenly become a fussy eater. Ive decided not to offer him anything else if he doesn't eat but would feel like he's missing out on the good stuff if he doesn't get his fruit or yoghurt for afters..but if we did it might not be the right message?
  • Hi I do give Ben something like an apple or banana after if he hasn't eaten,simply because at least I know he has had something and it has the added bonus of being something healthy!
    Most of the however if he hasn't eaten his meal he wont eat his fruit,so I just put it down to him not being that hungry!I do think they go through phases.
  • Hi
    I hope things are starting to improve for you at meal times.
    Sorry if this idea is a bit late, but re puddings - could you give him his healthy pudding first, then try the meal?? That way, he's gettign his healthy pudding but not getting it after refusing the meal you've made - does that make sense? It seems weird to us to have 'pudding' first, but i'm sure he won't mind.
    Good luck and try to keep smiling :\)
  • Hiya what I do about pudding is this;

    If Max hasn't eaten any dinner or just picked at it, then I get him out of the highchair and let him go and play or whatever, then I give him something maybe an hour later. Like a banana or something. Hope this helps! xxxx
  • im gonna sound horrid but... i wouldnt giva a pudding. (nasty mummy)
  • hi, it was actually nice in a weird way to read your post. Im having very similar problems with my 19 month old son. He was never a fantastic feeder as a baby, but the main problems began when he was just turned 14 months. Its all well and good the many posts advising you not to give him anything if he doesnt eat etc etc. But when actually living it, daily, thats not that easy. and ive tried that, and tried almost every tactic. i went a whole week of offering him the food and taking him out of the highchair if he didnt eat what was on offer. he didnt give in! and after a week as a mum you have to. right now there are a handful of foods my son will eat and we have average days and horrific days, more of the latter.
  • i see that your post was back in january, im curious to know how things are now....wondering if there is light at the end of the tunnel!
  • Hi - i think i actually got this idea off someone on BE - when my little boy Matthew (21months) is going through a stage of not eating very much i will leave a bowl - within his easy reach - full of healthy things i know he likes - eg. grapes, strawberries, buttered toast squares - he can have it as he wants it and at least you know he is getting something in his tummy x

    sorry - just an idea if he doesn't eat the dinners that you give x saves you having a battle at the table.

    [Modified by: Baby Dolphin on May 12, 2009 11:10 AM]

  • I've read these posts with interest as my LO (18mths) has recently become a problem eater. Refuses breakfast and lunch and dinner some days. Some days eats a bit of her meals. It's good to know she's not the only one.
    She will normally always eat fruit but it's hot food we struggle with.
  • Hi,



    Not sure if my last message went through.



    My 18 month old too will only eat baked beans...have tried it all but she still won't it anything else mealtimes.



    I'd be grateful if you could let me know what worked...mealtimes are v stressful! I wish I'd never given them in the first place!



    Thanks in advance
  • My 16 month old daughter only wants rasberries for breakfast lunch and dinner. I have tried so many different things but she simply isnt interested in food. She won't be spoon fed anything and throws most of her food on the floor as she hates a plate ! I beleive she gets most of what she needs through her toddler milk so I am not going to worry too much at this stage. Hope this helps.

  • Hi I have the same problem with my 19month old son, when he was younger he went through stages were he would eat and then not, I put that down to teething.  Now hes older he doesnt like to eat meals, if you put anything in front of him, that isnt cheese crackers, and spagetti and toast, then he wont eat it, mash, veg, fish fingers, potatoe smiles, cottag pie etc he wont touch. Hes very good at eating breakfast so he fills up with that, he will eat all fruits, and youghurts. But when it comes to proper meals he wont touch them.  Ive been putting them infront of him and he just pushes them away, I used to get frustrated because I thought he wasnt getting enough nutrients, but now I just take the plate away. The only thing is I might give him a bananna or something an hr later, I know that is probably were im going wrong, but like everyone knows its hard not to give your own child anything, as then you start thinking they will wake up through the night if they dont eat, and play up through the day.  But Ive decided that im going to do this properly and offer food if he doesnt eat it, he doesnt get anything till next meal. I have to be firm otherwise he will proberley always be a fussy eater.  I will let you know how it goes image

  • Hi,

     

    Not sure if anyone is still looking at this thread, but I just stumbled across it as I'm having pretty much the same problem!

     

    I'm a desperate father!  My son is approaching his 2nd birthday in a couple of weeks, and for a few months now has become a fussy little man at dinner times.  During the weaning stages and onto lumpy, almost 'normal' food - he'd eat or at least try anything - fish, meat, cooked veg (as long as it was part of a meal - like in a stew or spag bol) - but now, all he'll entertain at dinner is baked breaded food - fish fingers, nuggets, waffles, potato shapes.  We've tried on many occassions to give him what he 'used' to like, and he will have none of it.  He won't eat any fruit unless it's one of those fruit puree pouches, and won't eat veg - whether cooked or sticks such as peppers or cucumber. 

    We're both at our wits end, although I think I'm more concerned than my partner - she believes its just a phase and will get over it - but I can't see a light at the end of a seemingly long tunnel!  It's difficult for us all to eat together as I work 5 days a week, my partner 3, and meal times for us are usually later because of the time getting back home - which is nearer bed time for our little man.

    What do you suggest?  I'm of the belief we have to keep trying him with the foods he used to eat, but at the same time, I feel bad if he goes without something to eat - I know it won't hurt, and I know sometimes you have to be the 'bad guy' for the greater good!

    Any words of advice will be HUGELY appreciated!

    Baz

  • Hi Baz



    I wish I could offer some advice but I'm in exactly the same position! My son is 2 years old too. He eats a great breakfast; weetabix and toast but will not eat any fruit at all. He won't even hold it in his hand. He would live on a diet of cheese, bread, beans and yogurt if I let him. He also likes fish fingers but I bought some chunky ones from M&S and he can tell they are better quality with more fish and won't eat them now either!!



    I feel awful sending him to bed hungry but I will not offer alternatives. If he doesn't eat what I have given him he goes without. Last week he woke up at 6 am crying as he was so hungry!



    He is exactly the same as your boy. When we were weaning him he ate loads of veg and fruit and loved my cooking!! I have found that he will eat 'little dish' ready meals. I get them from tesco. They are children's meals with no added salt or preservatives. I hate it as I have lots of my food in the freezer but he refuses it. At least I know he is getting some veg, fish etc so I don't feel too bad when he has bread and cheese for lunch again!!



    I am so desperate not to create food issues that I always tell him he doesn't have to eat his food but he won't get anything else. We are very consistent with this and he seems to be getting a bit better. A friend with older children and a toddler who will not eat anything always puts at least one thing on the plate he likes but makes him try everything even if he just licks it! I've tried it and it does seem to be making a small difference.



    I've also started a reward star chart and include finishing his dinner. He loves this so my fingers are crossed, it's only been a week!



    Like you we can't eat together as my husband is at work at dinner time but at the weekend we do and we don't put the food we want him to eat in his plate. If he sees us eating it he wants it!!



    I would love to hear any other advice tips



    Choc
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