Forum home Toddlers & older children Toddler

a moan sorry

I know there are loads of mums on here that work full time and probably feel the same. But i'm so down every day about going to work it drives me mad, i hate working full time i like my job but i just feel the older Erin gets the more i miss out on when i am at home with her she doesn't nap properly anymore because she is out of routine i changed my hours so that i get every weekend off but this is not working because everyone that has her mum, mil and a friend does something different, but i cannot tell my manager cos she will go mad she has changed my hours 4 times since i've been back from mat leave!! I cry everyday on the way to work i cannot even where mascara to work now cos its all down my face by the time i get there. I have talked to paul about me changing my hours to part time and he always replies with well i'd like to do that too but we cannot afford it !! We are in so much debt and our mortgage is over 1000 pound a month, everything seems out of control at the moment. I just want to be a mum first and foremost, but it doesn't seem this way at the moment seems like bills and debt is taking over everything.

I wish something would change

Sorry for the moan



  • Oh mez, totally understand where you are coming from, I am just so lucky that I have 12 weeks holidays a year even though im full time! Can you not talk to your mum/mil/friend and try and get erin in a good settled routine? At the beginning i was really strict with the grans and even gave them a typed up list of his routine and even though i got a groan from MIL she stuck to it, especially coz lucas wouldnt let things be different lol! it does mean he is very settled with our arrangements, so much so that he seems put out when I'm off!!!!

    Hope things get better hun and let us know how youre getting on!
  • huge hugs hunny it must be so hard! i know how you feel with the money worries we are in loads of debt and it just feels as if you are being suffocated by it. luckily we can just about struggle on with me being part time, it means we are skint and have a tiny house but at least i am at home most of the time.
    i have thought of a cunning way to earn more money and still be at home with the kids in the day. i work as a carer and now that freya is more or less sleeping through im hopefully going to start doing a couple of sleep ins a week at one of tyhe sheltered housing schemes that we go to. it means that i can keep my normal part time hours and i will get home in the moring for graham going to work but i will earn over ??300 a month more than i do now. maybe you could try some thing like it its just an idea and might not be practical for you but you could go part time in your normal job and do this a couple of times a week so you wouldnt really be earning much less.
    hope that you can get some thing that works for you sorted soon. xxx
  • oh hun. What a shame you get so upset. I can't be good for you. Is there anyway of finding another job with different hours? Or sitting all your carers down and giving them a routine to follow so lo is more settled?

    I have always put my foot down about working full time, but I wish I had gone back. I did 16hours a week up till March when the recession hit and I was cut to 12.5hours! I did more than that when I was a student. Now we find with my hubby's pay also cut by 5% this month that we can afford our mortgage and bills, but not have any left for food! eeeek! And our mortgage is ??300 less than yours.

    But as I'm having baby 2 in Sept we've got to make things work until I can look for another job at end of maternity leave. Then I'll be working more hours. Think hubby is looking for 2nd job and we've had our phone disconnected and downgraded sky. Needs must!

    Sorry taken over your moan hun. Just to let you know that you're not alone.......

    lo 20m and 31+4
  • I totally know where you are coming from!

    Until the end of last year i worked full time! Summer has been at nursery since 9 months old (she is now 2). Before Christmas i was constantly getting phone calls to collect her or having time off as nursery wouldn't take her and i was then have to take time off sometimes unpaid. In the end my boss got annoyed with the amount of time i was having off (totally understand). So in the end i had to reduce my hours as i couldn't rely on nursery!

    I now work 16 hours a week (full days tues and thurs) and Summer still attends nursery! To afford to do this i reduced as much of our outgoings as possible, mortgage to interest only, sky, policies, gas/electric you name it i did it. We get ??25 a week to help towards nursery fee and obviously ??80 a month child benefit! My oh works full time but he apparently earns too much for us to be entitled to any other help.

    I wish i looked in to this before i went back to work when Summer was 9 months old as i feel like i've missed out on so much with her.

    Is this something you could look into? print a list of your outgoings and see where you can save and you never know you might be able to work part time! I hope i've helped not bored you xxxx
  • thanks everyone for your support it really does help.

    Lemoncake that is a good idea i did that when mil first had her and she just laughed and said i've raised 8 children and 3 grandchildren i think i know what to do ! so i didn't really know where to go from there. My mum only has here once a week and i tell her how to do everything and she moans but i i don't care cos she is my mum lol and she'll do exactly as i say, and i pay my friend to have her and she has 2 of her own so i feel a bit ungreatful if i told her how to do everything, i know i probably should.

    Flickaty do you think there are sleep in shifts for RN's out there? It sounds like a good idea.

    Nimmy you have made me realise how lucky we are. My oh was so close to being made redndant and is still hanging on a string so i should be greatful to have a job really, it just has really got to me this month i feel so distant from Erin and she cries so much when i leave it makes it hard, I don't know how we would cope in your situation so i should feel lucky.

    ShellandMarcus your advice is great and i really think we could save more we tend to not budget for shopping and just get what we need and hand over the card, we have bt broadband and sky with the sports etc. So if we really sat down and wrote everything down i reakon i could reduce my hours but i know for definate Paul would not let me do this he would say we would not cope, he worries more than me about money.

    Thanks again everyone i feel so much better for just writing it all down and I spoke to someone at work about it today and she was saying i should feel proud, so i'm trying desperately to see it this way instead of feeling like a horrible mum for leaving her. Plus some people have it so much worse than me, some nurses at work live in Africa and only see there kids for 4 weeks a year just to provide them with more money for a better life, at least i see Erin everyday and get all weekend with her.

    Thanks again everyone Mez xx
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions