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Broody?...
Recently I have been feeling a little broody and thinking about possibly trying for another baby in the next year or so but part of me is hesitant because my lo is my world and don't know how I would be able to feel the same with another baby - sounds silly I know!
I think its great when I see lo playing with her wee friends and if I did have another would like to have a smallish age gap but I am so torn.
Do any of you have more than one? And was it easy getting into a new routine, etc?
Stephanie
I think its great when I see lo playing with her wee friends and if I did have another would like to have a smallish age gap but I am so torn.
Do any of you have more than one? And was it easy getting into a new routine, etc?
Stephanie
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Replies
sorry i havent been much help have i? hmmm, i think if your broody and the only thing stopping you is that you feel you wont lvoe them the same then go for it bc trust me you will!
I (at the moment) only intend on having the one (my lo is 17 months and my world, too - I completely know how you feel, he is my angel and I love him so much I don't know what to do with it) for all sorts of reasons, but I know that I might change my mind. And if I do, and there is a bigger gap between mine, then that is fine. you go with your instincts. If you would like a bigger family, then go for it!
If you're worried that you couldn't possibly love your second baby as much as you love your first, or if you're concerned that your relationship with your first may suffer, find out how fellow BabyCentre mums found parenting the second (or third or fourth) time around.
I worried needlessly during my second pregnancy!
My daughter was two when I had my second baby (another girl), and I had sleepless nights worrying that I wouldn't love my unborn baby as much as my first. I made my first child my whole world so I suppose it's normal to wonder how I would feel about another child. But I needn't have worried, because when I held my new baby girl for the first time I felt an instant flow of love, just as I felt with my first daughter. My advice is that you don't have to 'share' the love you have for an existing child with your new baby - you have a different and individual love for each child. - Katie
It was love at first sight
I started panicking the moment I found out I was pregnant, as I didn't know how I could possibly love another child as much as I loved my son. I cried about it all the time and I felt so guilty that I was putting my son through such a huge change. I'm usually very rational, so I was shocked by my feelings. But when I first held my little girl I fell in love with her completely - she is a wonderful little thing and she adores her brother and he adores her. I now feel daft that I got so worried during my pregnancy. We all have such fun together and I love them both very much. - Liz
You might not bond straight away
I couldn't breastfeed my second son as he didn't take to it at all, so I found it really hard to bond with him at first. This contributed to my postnatal depression and I think I only started to love him as much as my first when he showed more personality at six months old. - Isobel
When my oldest son was born, it felt like a magical connection had formed the instant I held him. When I didn't feel that for my second son, I thought I must be the worst mother in the world. I think it is different with the second child, because nothing can ever compare with the first time you realise you're a mother. But I needn't have worried; my youngest son has firmly planted himself in my heart in his own unique way. I can't imagine my life without him. - Anne
Your love grows with each child
I spent a lot of my second pregnancy feeling anxious that I wouldn't love this baby like I loved my first. Many people told me you don't halve your love you double it, and it's true. I am hoping for a third child and I have no worries about loving it as much - I just know my love will treble! - Chloe
I felt detached from my first child
When my second child was born I found my feelings towards my five-year-old suddenly changed. When she came up to the hospital to meet her sister her hands suddenly seemed huge, even though they felt so small holding mine the day before. She wasn't my little girl anymore, she was grown up by comparison. I ended up focusing my love more on my new baby which was completely irrational and very disturbing for me - I was unable to control my feelings. Some of the typical postnatal depression symptoms I have read about I didn't have towards my new baby but towards my older child. - Ashley
When my second baby came along, I got so wrapped up in her that I tended to hand her older brother over to his father. The baby was easier to deal with than a cranky, wilful toddler. But it did create a really strong bond between my son and his father. And now that the baby is older and doesn't need me quite so much, I'm becoming closer to my son again. - Rachel
Involve your older child with your new baby...
Throughout my second pregnancy I kept worrying that my first child would be neglected, as my new baby would need lots of attention from me. And in the first few months life was hard as I was breastfeeding throughout the day and night, so it was difficult to spend much time with my older daughter on her own. But she has been very helpful with her little sister, by fetching things and preparing nappies, so I don't think she's felt left out - she actually feels more grown up which she enjoys, but I make sure I give her lots of cuddles and let her know she's still my baby! - Sarah
...and spend time with both your children together
When Grace was born, Sam was only 16 months old, but I was really excited about having another baby. We made a huge fuss of Sam by including him in everything and it seemed to be working quite well. But when Grace was three weeks old she became extremely hard work so people kept offering to take Sam off my hands to give me a break - I started to resent Grace for taking me away from him, as he was still really a baby himself. I soon realised they were best kept together. It was difficult in those first few months but now Sam is nearly three and Grace is 19 months and they adore each other. They hate being apart. Sam can't remember what it was like before we had Grace, so he's just accepted her. - Emma
I can't give my first child as much attention any more
I love both my children equally, but my daughter is getting the worse end of the deal. My new baby boy needs feeding every couple of hours so he takes up a lot of my time. I really worry that she's feeling left out, but there isn't a lot I can do about it which is frustrating. I let her help me with her baby brother but she doesn't get much individual attention at the moment.
- Emily
Sibling love makes a happy family
When our second baby boy arrived I was just as overwhelmed with emotion as I was with my first. I was absolutely delighted and felt so lucky to have two beautiful boys, and they were so different which was a nice surprise. In the early weeks my husband dealt with our older child and I looked after the baby because I was breastfeeding. But this made me feel like my older child was slipping away from me and he seemed to blame me for giving him a little rival! However, once my husband went back to work I began to feel like I had my little boy back as he started to come to me for cuddles like he used to. I still miss spending so much time with my older child and I have to work hard to find the time for him. But my boys adore each other, which makes me so happy I was blessed with another child. - Kerri
Dads worry too
Mums are not the only ones who go through this! My husband surprised me when he said, "I feel like I haven't bonded with my daughter yet". He was concerned because he bonded so instantly with our son (19 months). I told him I felt the same way for the first month or two, but now our daughter's little personality is starting to emerge and I love her! I've started pumping a bottle so my husband can feed her, and I give them time to be together while I play or read with our son. My husband is starting to have that same tender look in his eyes when he looks at our daughter that he has when he looks at our son. - Michelle
I had a read of the article Rhian2 and it made me feel a bit better knowing that I'm not the only one and that you can feel the same for another baby.
I think that I would like to have another, lo is 20 months just now and I would like to have smallish age gap. Would like to start trying in the next year or so and now need to find out the costs for sending two to nursery part time!
Not made my mind up completely but think I would like to but who knows I'm still a bit confused haha
Maybe just let nature decide....