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Reaction to strangers?

My dd is 19 mths and whenever anyone she doesn't know comes up and talks to her, she just screams! She worse with men and people with loud voices. She has been like this since she was about 9 months old!

I can handle it when it's a complete stranger in the supermarket etc, but she does it with my brother and dad too! (who she sees every few weeks!) Also with our neighbour, who prides himself on being good with children - he popped over at the weekend and said hello to her, and she just collapsed on the floor in floods of tears!

Does anyone else's lo do this? Please tell me I'm not the only one! Any advice?



  • Kara was like this from 6months until about 11 months or so. She was awful and wouldn't go to anyone but me or her dad. She went mental if anyone else looked at her wrong. Now she is not strange at all but there are days she will look at some people and cry really sore. It does seem to be men more than anything else. Other days she will look and talk to anyone. It is a phase unfortunately and you will just have to wait until they grow out of it. Is there anyone you can leave her with for a few hours every few days so she gets used to others and not you all the time. I had to do this with Kara as I was going back to work and my MIL was watching her. She came around to them very quickly when I wasn't there and then this taught her for coming around to others. I believe this helped a lot.
  • I have the opposite problem. Charlotte wants to hold strangers hands all the time and if anyone goes near her face she puckers up to kiss them!!

    I can't think what it could be with your lo. Maybe it's the p word - a phase? Do you go to any toddler groups where your lo mixes a lot? If not that could help with socialising.
  • Yes, she has plenty of contact with other babies and children and she's fine with them. It's just adults (and not all adults either - just some, especially men lol)

    I really hope it is a phase, I'm just a bit concerned that it's shyness - I was very very shy when I was little (I can even remember being terrified of adults I didn't know) and I was so relieved that my 2 older boys are not shy at all. Maybe she's inherited it.

    My mum and my sisters are really the only other adults that look after her regularly (other than oh of course) and she adores them so she's fine - it seems to be strangers that talk to her.

    Mmmm... maybe preschool/nursery next year will cure it.....

    Thanks for all your replies ladies xxxxxxxxx

  • faith is the other way and is right flirt . The oldest how 7 was very shy and not keen on new people he still shy now
  • Maybe it's worth asking the 'strangers' that you know to come into the room and sit down and chat to you but to give your lo a bit of time to let her come round. Maybe if she sees that you're ok and enjoying talking to these 'strangers' she will accept them a bit more readily. If James has a funny turn like this I try and put myself in is shoes. Imagine if someone three times your size, who looks strange to you suddenly bears down on you talking in a big booming voice expecting you to be all friendly and nice. I think I'd scream a bit too.
  • phoebe was like this and still is to a certain extent but she is alot better now than she was. when she was little she would either hide or start crying when they talked to her, she even used to do it to my mum! dont worry though it is only a faze even if it is quite a long one. i would say phoebe was like this from the age of 2 until 4, but since her fourth birthday has got better and better. x
  • Hi ness, that is a v good suggestion and thinking about it my dad and brother do this now. They don't make a fuss of her at all, just talk to me and after several hours ( :lol: ) she gradually gets used to them.

    Its funny because I can remember calling her flirty gertie because she used to bat her eyelashes at men!! So she hasn't always been like this!

    really hoping it is just a phase!

  • My daughter is 2 and just the same! She's been like thsi since she was about 6 months!  She is absolutely fine around groups of people/in busy places/at toddler groups - as long as no-one talks to her!!!!!!

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