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Getting the balance!!

At the moment I'm struggling to find the balance between bein a single mum to a toddler ... and being a single girl

I've kinda got myself a boy since the ex & me split but it's very casual....and also very STRESSFUL!!!!!

I know this thing is just a rebound I guess & won't be permanent but I'm finding it difficult. It's tough having 'morning after' days with a lo and also I guess I feel its not fair on him. The ex never has him overnight really so im gonna say I want him to have him overnight 1 night a week and my mum says she'll have him for a weekend once a month. Cos I am finding this tough...I don't wanna be a single mum who goes round in baggy jumpers and only thinks about her kid, and doesnt have any conversation other than which schools are best/ who's lo sleeps thru etc/which cereal has least sugar ....but i dont want to be a bad neglectful mum either!!!!!! Where the hell is the balance?!! Is there one? I'm beginning to think being a single mum, with a life, means not eating, sleeping, and feeling like sh!t!!!

I haven't been single for nearly 4 years so this is all so new and scary without the stress of lo on top of it all!!

Someone give me some advice?? Lo is 18 months. I guess i know its not time to meet some1 else properly yet but I still want to have some fun? good or bad?


  • I'm not single but I find the balance between goin out and bein a mummy difficult sumtimes. I'm only 23 so I still wanna be out havin fun etc, but at the same time I do feel guilty that i'm sum how abandoning lo (even thos she's in bed so doesn't know the difference), but I need to be me as well as Lily's mummy! I don't think mummy's can ever have me time without feelin bad about it.

    i think its def a good idea to ask ur ex to have lo for a night a week, lo is his child as well, if it goes well perhaps u cud ask him to have him for a couplde of nights a week?

    You shud def go out and enjoy urself and have som fun! its definately a good thing. I think in some ways going out helps me be a better mummy as I've had a bit of a release and feel refreshed - well as refreshed as u can be with a hangover.

    Sorry that was a load of waffle, but I reckon the fact ur worrying bout it shows u r a fab mummy! xx
  • I have a daughter who is 12 and a son who's 23 months. I was a single Mother for 7 years so I do understand.

    Have you ever considered that your 'me time' doesn't just have to be just about going out drinking and dancing - yes I love doing that but feeling good about yourself and feeling like you 'have a life' isn't just about that. What about an evening course? Or starting a new sport? These are things which challenge you mentally and physically and improve your self estem, you meet people and have something to talk about when you are out socialising - it means that you do have something more to discuss than your child's nappies and the best school in the area.
  • I think you are doing a good job! Sometimes when hubby is working lots and am on my own with Lily I find it really hard, esp when I've been out at work all day. I could not do it all the time so I have loads of respect for all the single mums out there and YES you do deserve a break! Like others have said don't neglect yourself image)

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