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I'm really, really tired of Oscar (18 months) spending an hour after being put to bed getting up and down. He gets out of bed, opens his door and stands at the stair gate where he either just stands there for a while or cries, then goes back to bed for 5 mins then it start again. He's tired, he just doesn't want to go to bed. He does it at nap time too but not for as long. I only go up if he gets really upset or starts messing around so I'm not giving him any attention but I hate having him do this as it means I can't go upstairs till he's properly asleep.

Also no matter what time he goes to bed he always gets up at 5.45. I keep my bedroom door shut and he usually has a little moan then goes back to sleep or plays in his room till about 7. But with him not going to sleep till 9pm sometimes and cutting his nap down to only 25 mins he's not getting enough sleep and is vile in the day, with very little energy. Poor little man.

Can anyone suggest anything or is this just a phase I have to go through? He's been in his bed for 2 months but it's only been the past couple of weeks that this has really kicked off.


  • what kind of door handles do you have??
  • Err... normal ones lol? I don't think I can put them upside down as it's a rented house and I can't find a pressure fitted safety gate to fit his door. Grrr
  • mothercare do an adjustable travel pressure gate - might be worht a look? You;ve prob tried already though
  • I didn't know that. No mothercare nearby so I don't normally look at them. Will make a trip next time I'm anywhere near one. Thanks x
  • Hi, yes I feel your pain as we are also going through this - our dd is 2.

    The only advice I can give you is that, yes, it is a phase (the dreaded 'p' word lol!). If it wasn't the fact that we had gone through it all before with our ds, I would be tearing my hair out in desperation!

    Making the whole bedtime routine earlier has worked well for us in the past - and definitely doing the exact same thing every night, so he knows what to expect.

    If he wakes at 5.45am no matter what, then start bedtime super-early! Teatime 4 or 4.30pm , then straight to bath, etc etc, then you might find he benefits from a bit more sleep! And with the getting up again and again - we have found that it is simply a case of patience! We have seen it time and again on the Tanya Byron type shows - rapid return is the thing that's a nightmare doing it but it, but it does pay off. Just soothingly keep putting them back to bed, and say it's time for sleep. We're going through it right now - tonight was a bad night for us too! Good luck xxxx

  • Well bad night has turned into a bad morning. He was up at 5.15 - so 8 hours sleep overall - and hasn't gone back to sleep. He's been out of bed every 10 mins since then, until 6ish when he's been getting up every 2-5 mins. He looks exhausted, sounds exhausted, is exhausted but he doesn't want to sleep. And if I get him up he's just going to tantrum all day and he won't take a long daytime nap unless he's in the car, which is going into the garage this morning. It's only 7am and I'm already dreading today
  • hiya hun

    does he have a blackout blind?
    We got one because Ollie would get up as soon as daylight struck, which in the height of summer was getting as early as 4am!
    Since we use the blind he sleeps til 7.30-8am.., even sleeps through MJ waking up around 5am and crying.

    moving the handles should be ok, as long as you put them back after, or you could even change the handles... if you're not 100% about doing that could you explain to the landlord and ask permission etc to do so on the premise you put it back as it was...

    it could be that he doesnt need a daytime nap at the moment - we went through this with Ollie, where he didnt have a day nap, but did go to bed at the 'right' time, and slept reasonably well through the night, then at some point he decided he needed it again...

    maybe try starting his routine earlier? Not sure if it would work, as we had to make Ollie's bedtime later to get him to sleep later (he goes to bed at 8pm)

    Hope you find something that works soon! If I think of anything else I'll let you know

  • He does have a black out blind. He normally goes to bed at 7, but it was 7.40 last night as we'd got stuck in traffic so were home late. He gets too tired to drop the daytime nap, I mostly follow his lead on napping so don't put him down unless he's tired.

    I'll try putting him down earlier today and may call my health visitor on Thursday if there's no improvement (he's at nursery tomorrow)

    Thanks for your suggestions ladies
  • Note to self..... keep Archie in cot as long as possible, lol.

    Agree with Steph and blaclout blind has made a difference to Archie's early waking. Not solved it but has helped.

    As for daytime sleeping, I know it applied when lo was a baby and often I still think it applies "more a baby sleeps the better a baby sleeps" For example when Archie has a good daytime nap he sleeps better at night.
    So will he sleep in pram, or in car. Ocassionally if Archie is relaly fighing it I'll let him curl up on sofa with me or in bed with me with his blanket and his dummy and he's off in no time.

    Agree with Tottie about rapid return, seems to work for Supernanny/Tanya Bryant etc (but can't say from personal experience as I'm still holding onto his cot until he's climbing out !) S x
  • Rapid return fails for us, he gets too worked up. We couldn't use cc for the same reason, going back to him upsets him more. I'm currently trying an early nap to see if it makes a difference and left him to it when he cried - but made sure he knew I was around by being extra loud with my housework! We'll see how that works. Currently sitting resting as I'm exhausted from this mornings antics!
  • one thing they do at nursery - whether Ollie looks tired or not they pop him down about half an hour after dinner. he usually lies there quietly for about 20 mins, and then drops off, sleeping for about an hour.
    it might be that he needs a set nap time? Unless Ollie went down at 1pm at home he wouldnt go down at all, some days we'd put him down and he wouldnt sleep so we left him for half an hour then let him get back up again, but he'd had the chance by that point to go to sleep if he needed it, and it kept him in the same routine.. he also had a special teddy (now a car :lol: ) that only came out at bed time/nap time so he knew he could play with teddy but that it meant he had to stay in bed...
    i agree that it seems the more sleep they get the more sleep they have (not that it makes any sense!) although now Ollie's getting to 3 he does seem like he's growing out of the daytime nap for good, as he can happily go 8am-8pm, the fall asleep without fuss bang on 8pm.

    Sorry I'm not much help, and I know you'll be doing everything you can!

    This will sound awful, and I dont even know if its practical in your house... but could you tell him unless he stays in his bed he'll have the cot sides put back on/ get put back in the cot...? we had to do this with Ollie a couple of times when we moved him to a big boy bed, but it seemed to give him the right idea.

    Hugs hon

  • I could've written that myself we're having exactly the same problem and I'm going mad! I hope the phase ends soon! x
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