Adoption when the family can take a child in!!

Hi,
I'm feeling very sorry for one of my close colleagues today, long story but his Daughter moved home with her 5 month old baby 3 weeks ago because her boyfriend was beating her up. She also had an abortion in that first week as she was expecting another child with him. She left again a week later to go back to him, but social services wouldn't let her take the baby if she was going to live with him. So my colleague and his wife have been taking care of the baby and his wife has been looking at giving up work to look after her grandchild full time. Today they get a phone call to say social services are on their way to collect the baby as his daughter doesn't want him and doesn't want her parents to have him either so he's being put up for adoption. All because she wants to be with a guy that put cigarettes out on her back!!

I just don't get it!!! :\(

Posts

  • OMG :cry:
    Such a sad story. I was lucky my birthmother was ok with me going into care and never fought it. O that doesnt sound good :\(

    Mad when theres family to take care of the child, poor thing will not be better in care :\(
  • Thats so sad - I hope your colleague and his wife contest it. Social Services must see that a child is better placed within the family then being adopted out. Especially if your colleague and his wife actually want to raise the baby.

    So sad.

    The world saddens me sometimes.
  • I worked with somene in the same situation. They, in the end, were able to adopt their grand daughter and have brought her up as their own. I know they went through an awful lot.
    I hope that they are able to contest it as she is their flesh and blood.
    H.xxx
  • Hi,

    Please don't shoot me when I say this, but there has definetly been a misundersatnding along the way. A child can not be placed for adoption just like that. Social Services have an obligation to assess any family members that may wish to care for a child.

    There would be a reason as to why they have removed the baby from their grandparents care - and this could be a number of things. Also, even if a baby is removed from anyone's care there is still a great possibility of the child returning to them or other family members. From what I read, I'm guessing that social services haven't taken out an order on the child, and therefore only the baby's mother can make a decison on where the child lives - including in a foster placement. Sometimes, social services have to do this type of thing to begin with until they are in a better position where they are lawfuly able to make decisions about a child and then once they are able to, they may then place the child with their grandparents.

    I would guess that this is just the very begining of a long process for both the child and their grandparents.

    xxx
  • I'm with rainbow on this, there is more to this than meets the eye. I'm a childcare solicitor and social services have a duty to assess family members. they would only remove if there was a reason to do so. In my experience social services prefer to place in the family as it's cheaper than foster care to start with.They need to see a solicitor asap would be my advice x x
  • Believe me, this has got nothing to do with social services, in fact from speaking to my colleague they have done all they can to keep the baby with family. I don't know the full story obviously but the father of the child is harrassing the entire family and has made several death threats to the grandparents, and to the social worker involved. She was removed from the case because of it, which is a shame as the family got on well with her. From what my colleague has said his Daughter and her partner have told social services to put the baby up for adoption and that she doesn't want him staying with her family as she doesn't want the reminder.

    There must be more to it, i think my reason for posting is that it's hard to believe that she's chosen a thug over her child. I know he's controlling her, but being a parent myself my son always come first.

    I will pass on some comments you've made to my colleague and hopefully it will be resolved and the baby will be back with them.
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