I think I must be a horrible friend! :(

I just found out that one of my friends, who started ttc at the same time as me has just fallen pregnant. I'm sitting here crying, but I am soo happy for her, but soo jealous too. I know this is normal to feel like this but I can't help feeling like a rubbish friend.

Sorry for the down post, just had to let it out.

:cry: xxx


  • oh chick your right it is very normal feeling like that,i went through the same thing just over a month ago and if im honest im still not over it..saying that tho i have a be/real life friend who is preg and im over the moon for them,i cant tell you how the 2 same situations make me feel different...well i could over a cuppie or 12 lol

    but dont beat yourself up over it,have a good cry,your allowed and think mega positive ones for your bfp xxxx
  • Thank you Grudie, I'm going to go have a cuppa and some chocolate and get hugs from the hubby, lol! xxx
  • Hi hun

    Oh you aren't a horrible friend, I too have been faced with similar situations and you cant help the way you feel.

    Yes you are happy for your friend but at the same time gutted for yourself and hubby because a baby is something that you both long for.

    Dont beat yourself up hun, also I have a friend who is getting married in a few weeks and they are going to start trying straight after coming off the pill. I have convinced myself that she will fall pregnant before me and I dont know how I will cope with that but I will be happy for her at the same time. So I know too well how you feel and think its just a natural reaction.

    Hope you get some good hugs off your hubby

  • I know how you feel, no advice to give really apart from hugs to both cass and grudie XXXXXXXX
  • I know exactly how you feel. I have felt the same many times. Hubbie says its not a race, but he has no idea that its nothing to do with wanting to win - I just want it so badly and it feels so unfair when I have been trying for agea and people manage it in one month. Also agree with SD - I panic that certain people will get pregnant really quickly, like when thay get married or buy a new house. Makes me feel like a right weirdo!
    I do have a few friends though where it would not bother me at all. Strange! xx
  • Hi hun,

    You're not a rubbish friend, like the others have said you're sad for yourself. I panic all the time that people might be pg before me, not because it's a race but because I know how it will make me feel. We had abit of a dinner party Friday and a friend cancelled because she weren't well and I panicked thinking she might be pg. I have no idea why?! This whole ttc is making me crazy lol!

    So your completely normal! At least I hope because if your not I'm not either image
  • Hey hun, you aren't a bad friend at all, you are human. The longing for a baby is probably the strongest feeling of wanting I have ever felt and I think that is the case for a lot of people TTC. It is only natural and I think a good cry and some cuddles are in order.

    My best friend and I are both TTC at the mo - she wants me to get pg first as she already has a LO and thinks it would be unfair if she has 2 and I have none bless her! I want her to get pg because she is a fantastic mum.

    So many of my old school friends are either pg or just given birth and quite a few accidents too which doesn't help my jealousy. It does upset me, it just doesn't seem fair. In 2008 at work we had 13 women either pg or on mat leave!! Now they are all going for round 2 and there are lots of newly weds like me who have made no secret of the fact they would start trying after marriage, so I know I may end up being upset again soon if they catch.

    I'll stop rambling now! Basically, don't beat yourself up! Have a good cry and get it out there x
  • No you're not a horrid friend by any means ! I have felt the same way, I began ttc in Oct 07 and didnt fall pg till july08, my friend at work had her coil removed in oct 07 and got pg immidiatly even though she said they didnt try that time it was just a moment that got away from them (so to speak). I was heartbroken especially when she went off to have her baby, granted only a short while before i found out i was pg.

    Believe me it doesnt end when you get pg, I was the first of my "close" friends to get pg but the jealousy is still there. I was unable to breastfeed for a number of reasons and I remember being distraught at the thought that my friends and my younger sister (who was pg) would be able to (and incidentally could) . Then you have the "baby progress competition", whose baby sleeps thru first, sits up alone first, walks, talks etc.

    Sorry that was a ramble !! What i'm trying to say is cut yourself some slack ! XXX
  • Don't be hard on yourself, I think it's only natural. Two of my work colleagues have just announced their good news and "would you believe it happened first month of trying" always kicks where it hurts! You do find yourself looking at friends, colleagues and family and thinking - who next? It is desperately hard not to get upset and down but you have to try to focus on you and not compare with others. Lambchop is right - you will have the same with the Mums at playgroup making you feel inadequate by telling you how well their baby sleeps, eats, walks, talks, etc, etc and you have to take a step back and do what's right for you. You are not a horrible friend, you just want your share of the good news and there's nothing wrong with that.
  • No ur not horrible hun it happens to us all. In the past 5 months 3 of my close friends have had babies and i felt the same as you, the worst for me was the friend who had her 2nd, I was like, I would be happy with one and you have two!

    Getting pregnant should be like the argos pick up system where you wait your turn image having said that I'm usually buying the thing they can't find and end up waiting there ages while everyone comes and goes lol!

    Me and hubby were saying that in a way being made to wait is much better than having it handed to you on a plate because it makes it all the more special when it does happen.

    Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust
  • Me too! The other ladies have described it so well I won't ramble on but we ALL feel the same!!
  • I'm 100% with the others, you are not a bad person!! I can't tell you how dishartened I feel when people manage to catch so easily and we've been trying so long... But then saying that I fell with DS when I was on the pill so it's like I've had my chance at an "easy" time.
    I feel a stab of pain every time someone announces their pregnancy, be it on here or in "real time" but it's not jealousy, I'm so happy for them it just hits home that once again it wasn't me. xx
  • I could have written this! We've been ttc for 7 months and in that time I know 5 people who have conceived. The longest took 3 months! I am truly happy for them but jealous too, its only natural when you want something so much. I hope its your turn soon x
  • Aww guys, thank you so much for your lovely replies, can't tell you how much better it made me feel!

    Huge ((((((((hugs)))))))) to all of you and hope we all get our bfps soon! xxxxx
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