Been told i'm trying to hard

I spoke to a friend today about trying to concieve. i've not really told any family or friends. i'd rather them just find out when or if it happens.
She told me i'm trying far to hard and shouldn't be wasting my money on ov tests and fertility monitors.
She waffled on about how as soon as she decided to have a baby she came off the pill and fell straight away with all 3 children. Thats fair enough lucky her but it upset me the way she said i need to pack in testing when i'm ov and forget about concieving and it'll happen. she said it won't happen when i'm trying to hard.
Thats easily said than done seen as she fell as soon as she wanted too.
i've been trying for 3 year. i've got pcos so its not going to be straight forward.
Granted the first 18 month i wasn't ov testing every month as my periods have been hit and miss but now i am charting and doing everything possible as i don't want to wait forever, i'm not getting any younger neither is OH.
she really p'd me off.
arghhhhhh :x sorry i just needed to vent. i was already feeling down about af arriving and then i get loads of support from my friend (not)


  • Hi Tasha
    Oh sound like just the sort of support you need eh!
    Do you think you are getting really stressed with it all, if you are ask your GP to refer you for Hypotherapy, they are really good at getting you to relax more, and they do this this called visualisation where you are in a semi hypnotic state and you home in on your ovaries, it all sounds a bit weird I know but it really does help, I had someone come to me, she was lovely and made me feel much better and hey presto a month or two later I was pregnant.
    Good luck
  • She was obviously one of the very lucky ones! that was really inconsiderate! I feel for you having been trying so long. I can see where she is coming from about relaxing, but there are ways to put things! Hypnotherapy may be good though? I am only month 3 and have OPK, AC and EPO to try already!

    I hope things work out for you hun - it must be really hard with pcos. Are you on any fertility meds for it?
  • i might try that vicky i had hypnotherapy years ago when i went through a real bad time and it worked then. i never even thought of trying it for this. i've even thought about trying acupunture

    i'm waiting to go back to the hospital for my pcos. i was only diagnosed with it in feb this year. she gave me metformin but only 5 weeks worth and told me she'd call me back in 6 month. so don't know how that works as other people i spoke to said i should have stayed on the metformin.
    so i've just been trying the agnus castus myself as that helped last time i took it.
  • I am surprsied you only had 5wks worth and she said she would contact you in 6mths? I thought you should be taking it constantly. when I had suspected pcos a year ago the gynae mentioned that and advised I would need to take it regularly?

    i hope the AC works for you hun and I am sending you lots of babydust xx
  • well i thought that and when i spoke to my friend who had ivf she said usually your on metformin all the time once prescribed. so i don't know whats going on. i'll just keep trying everything i can in the mean time till she calls me back in.
  • Tasha
    You should make an appointment to see you GP. usually what happens is the clinic only gives you a short supply and then the GP continues to prescribe it for you. The gynaecologist should have written a letter to your GP so they know the plan. unfortunately she should have also told you this!
    She will be expecting to see you after you have been on metformin for 6 months so she can monitor your response.
    Good luck
  • Oh Tasha, tell the silly tart to bog off!! Some people are so insensitive. We didn't tell anyone we were trying for exactly that reason. I'm sure the 'relax' thing is what some people need to do but when you have been trying for 3 years it is a really thoughtless thing to say. Sounds like the other girls have some really good advice - good luck and sending you lots of babydust xxx

    P.S I'm sure you have tried this but when you know you are ov'ing try using preseed. It may be a fluke but I got my bfp after 10 months trying and my first month using preseed. I know it doesn't help with the pcos but just a thought.
  • oh Mobo, i'll feel like a right dope if this is right. she honestly didn't tell me that. i best make an appointment with my doc then and see what hes got to say. i've just told my hubby wot you said and even hes just said why didn't the clinic say that so at least i know i'm not going mad lol.

    dappytart - thanks, i've just ordered some of that preseed off ebay so gonna start trying that. i have a cupboard full of allsorts now. lol

    The thing is, i know i've been trying for a long time, but i've never let it stress me out. i just kept thinking it'll happen when it happens. its only the last couple of month i've started getting stressed with it.
    a phsychic told me i would fall pregnant in november and it will be a boy. so we shall see if hes right. lol. even then i'm thinking NOVEMBER THATS AGES......
  • update.....
    just rang doc spoke to receptionist. she said theres a letter in my notes from hospital about the metformin but nothing about allowing me a repeat prescription after the 5 weeks was up. which even the receptionist said was strange.
    so the receptionist is gonna ring the hospital for me and find out whats going on and i've got to ring back tomorrow.
  • Hi Tasha

    I can sooo understand what your saying about friends. Sadly as they are not going through it they have no real idea how it feels esp as she feel so soon after coming off the pill.

    I would not bother talking to her about it anymore as your mostly likely to get just the same as last time.

    i am sorry you have been trying for so long i cannot imagine what that must feel like.

    It's good that she is going to ring the hospital for you though lets hope you get some more good news backimage

    K xx
  • Some people can be so insensitive and I have found that it can be the closest people around you but you just have to let it go. My friend told me that taking pills and cutting caffeine out won't make a blind bit of difference to DH's sperm count and guess what..... It did, his SA results came back alot better 2nd time round because he was taking supplements and multi vitamins and he cut out coffee and coke. The thing that people don't seem to realise is that just because they fall pregnant so easily doesn't mean that you will, everyone's body is different and sometimes it takes a little longer for some people. Stay positive, lots of PMA to you and ignore what people other people say - it's whats best for you that matters. xxx
  • thanks guys.

    you lot make me feel better.

    she rang me back from doctors and said the hospital are digging my notes out and are gonna ring her back. so she going to let me know what they say asap.
    she said the hospital have got me down to call me back in august but might leave it a bit as i should have been taking metformin continuously but nobody told me image nevermind mistakes happen. maybe i should have asked to, but because i didn't know what it was (at that time) i just assumed the 5 weeks she gave me was all i needed.
    i'll just keep trying my own way with the AC in the mean time until my meds are sorted.
  • that's great, keep us posted how you get on xxx
  • Glad you have got to the truth - good luck with it all and I hope you get your BFP soon xx
Sign In or Register to comment.