Is this feeling normal?

Hi All

I am new to this site, heard about ti on YAYW and have been reading peoples posts for a few days now.

We are currently in the middle of planning/ttc and my hubby really does want a baby and i also do as well...a lot. However.......there are so many things running through my head which hubby just does not seem to consider at all. Granted, i am a worrier, a big one at that and i do always think of worst case scenario whatever the situation but i just need a little help/advice as to whether what i feel is normal or if it is signs that i am not ready. I am young but i do want a baby but i just don't know if it is a good idea to be worrying like i am.

So...worry number 1 is the birth......i am absolutely petrified, what if something goes wrong?? The pain-i am no good with period pains never mind giving birth. I worry i will get post natal depression. I worry if i do this will drive my hubby away. I worry it will have a negative affect on our relationship as i know having children can put a strain on these things and we have not been married that long. I worry there will be something wrong with my baby, complications etc and i worry i will get fat after the child is born and my hubby will no longer find me attractive and as we are young there will be loads of other girls young/childless and firm that my hubby will become more attracted to. I am not fat now (size 12-14) but would love to lose maybe a stone/1 dress size and worry i have no chance of this ever if i have a child.

These are just a few things i am stressing myself about. Are they normal? Am i been pathetic/immature.

thanks for reading if you got this far!

Posts

  • I think you need to calm down and breathe a little. You're focusing on some the negatives of having a baby - hopw about some positives.

    Do you have friends who have had babies - talk to them, you'll realise that all births are different and yes, they are painful, but some ladies (2 of my friends at least) had quick pain-managable births, where some of my friends had 28 hour labours, or epidurals that went wrong - but all of them are fine, and although they know birth was painful, they don't actually remember the actual pain - I liken it to when I very badly broke my arm - it really, really hurt (I actually passed out at one point), but now, I can't remember what that actual pain felt like (please ladies correct me if I'm wrong!!)
    Conplications - they either happen or they don't - deal with them IF they happen, what's the point of worrying 'just in case'?

    If you're worried about putting on weight whilst pregnant, just make sure you eat healthily while you are, breastfeed as long as possible afterwards and keep exercising before, during and after the pregnancy.

    As for worrying about your husband. He married you for better or for worse and should love you and support you if you do suffer with PND or pile on the pounds. In all honesty - if he does go off with a 'younger, firmer model', then he probably always would have done at some point - baby or not.

    We all have worries, it's natural, just don't let them become the focus of what should be a fab time.

    If you want to stress about stuff - join us on the ttc board and start looking at charting, temeratures, ovulation and the wonderous 2ww!!!

  • arls0308 thanks for replying! Your right, i know! Yes some of my friends do have babies, only 1 or 2 mind but maybe i will try talking to them. i just havent really told nayone we are trying yet. I am a sod for looking on the negative side of things but like you say, i should try look at some of the positives-like my hubby is ha!
  • I know you've looked at all the negatives of the planning a baby but I think that talking to your friends with babies will do you some good and it will make you think about the positives.

    At least then you will realise if your 'ready' for a baby or not.
  • yea hun if it was that terrible, none of us would be alive cuz no one would have babies! lol, women managed 60+ years ago going back thousands, millions, years, it is natural and it amazing what the body can cope with, we alsao have our own pain relievers which ok dont take the pain away but they allow ur body to cope, besides their is v good pain relief nowadays, focus on the outcome, not the few/many lol hours of hard work, theres a lot to enhoy either side of that xxx good luck xx
  • sorry bout all the typos, long day!
  • ye and i guess people coped years ago without the pain relief we have today didnt they?! never thought of it liek that sianyp77, thank you
  • Hey hun, having worries is complely natural but as the other ladies said its not all negative, being pregnant is 1 of the most amazing things that a woman can do, as for weight gain, if u do gain weight u can always diet, join a slimming group etc after baby is born.
    When it comes to the pain of labour, i too have a very low pain thrreshold but I found once I was in labour something inside clicked & I just delt with it, I did also have pain relief which really helps.

    Please do speak to any friends you have that are parents, dont freak yourself out over something that is so winderfully amazing.

    I am currently pregnant with number 2 & am too worried about things but I am also very very excited.

    We are always here if you need a chat or advice.
    Realx hun, when the times comes im sure you will fine & love every min, I even love the morning sickness, lol

    Kirsty xx
  • Thanks kirsty, there are just so many things that could go wrong, it really does panic me.I have also had "borderline" high blood pressure recently. It has started coming down and doc seems to thing probs just stress from getting married and buying a house all at same time but this panics me and makes me think i may get pre-eclampsia. I am such a stress head. I just really want a baby but not sure it would help me or a baby to be this panicy ha! but i guess i will be worried wheneva i do it. x
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