Poll - are you telling people?


Just wondering if you are a) telling people you are trying and b) will you tell people straight away when you get BFP? Are you finding it easy to keep to yourselfs?

I am finding this keeping quiet very hard and its making me feel down ! I am getting sooo many questions about not drinking etc etc and starting to think it would just be a lot easier to tell people we are trying and the questions will stop !

Not sure what to do when I fall? Just tell people I am still trying and lie to their faces? Or be honest with people? mmm its tricky.


  • Hiya, no one knows were trying and will prob tell parents when we get bfp but wait for 12 weeks to tell others image

    Kate (messaging you from her mobile - haha) xxx
  • Hi stace,

    Weve told people we're TTC only if they mention anything about babies.
    Ive mentioned about a possible BFP with my SIL and best friend coz i got a faint line but i still said it was early days. We havent said anything to hubbys mum and dad and my mum and dad coz we didnt want to worry them.
    Once i found out for definate i will tell families straight away no matter how far im gone.
    Id rather wait till the 12th week to tell everybody else but i dont think i will be able to keep it quiet, its too exciting. Depends how you feel, If i was to lose it early on i would prefer that everyone was to know so i could get support.

  • i have told only 3 people,thats 2 women at my work and my best friend,it felt such a relief to tell someone having been trying a very long time

    one reason i told one lady at my work is because i no she tried for years also to get preg with her son after 5 mc i think,shes a great older friend also always friendly and gives good advice

    i have been tempted recently to tell my sister,she does keep hinting about another nephew/niece and i no she would be nice about it all but it just hasnt felt right

    i do think if i hadnt been trying for so long i wouldnt have told anyone

    and with regards to telling people when i do get my bfp im sure the important people il tell cant keep it all in lol that or the huge grin il have oon my face will give something away lol image
  • Hey!

    We told a few people we were trying, which does feel like a weight is off your shoulders. Looking back I wouldn't have told people, as they now expect an update everytime you see them. And the first month it didnt happen, when they ask if your pg yet, is very hard. And also adds a lot of pressure. We did get our BFP in the 2nd month of TTC, but have only told family and very close friends.

    Thankfully we don't see some of the others who knew we were trying so haven't had to tell anyone yet. I'd love to, but would rather wait to make sure everything's ok.

    Sorry for the rambling!

    L xxx
  • I've told my mum and my sister we are TTC, and that's it. My mum because I wanted to ask about how long it took her as she had me at about the age I am now, and I was worried because there is a big age gap between me and my older brother.

    My sister I told on the grounds of I know she was TTC at the time. She's recently found out she's diabetic, so is waiting until that's under control to continue trying.

    I won't tell anyone until 12 weeks. If we got pregnant next cycle the 12 week point would line up roughly with my 32 birthday, which would be nice image
  • I didn't tell anyone with first preg but randomly by best friend knew! Asked me if I was preg yet, I said no we weren't trying and she laughed and told me it was obvious we were so to shut up!! Still no idea how she guessed...
    Didn't tell anybody else though. Once we got our BFP we told only parents & siblings, but my MIL started buying pressies for us which I hated as am of the opinion buy nothing til 12 weeks. So waited to tell friends (other than best friend!) until then.
    Had 2 mc scares during first 12 weeks so glad we waited. Not told anybody TTC this time (and nobody has guessed yet!) but we've decided to tell nobody and even when we get BFP we're not telling anybody til 12 weeks, not after the fear of last time; not fair to worry them if same happens again.
  • Oh, and ref the not drinking etc tell them you are doing a detox! If you're TTC you're probably cutting out caffeine etc as well as alcohol, so detox would fit!
    And how to deal with not telling people...come on here!! Ramble away!
  • We weren't telling anyone that we are trying but big gob hubby blurted it out to his mum, fortunately she doesn't see ,my family to tell them so can keep it semi secret. we had also planned not to tell anyone till we are 12 weeks parents included but doubt he could keep that secret either!!!
  • My very best friend knows and that's it. I already get asked all the time when we are planning to have babies which annoys me enough so god only knows what it would be like if they knew we were actively TTC!

    When I get my BFP I'll tell my mum and best friend straight away, hubby wants to wait till 12 weeks to tell his parents (fine by me as I know what she's like!) and then we'll tell everyone else.

    I can't wait to tell my mum, she'll be sooo chuffed for us x

    Oh and ref the not drinking - could say your turn to drive? That's what I do!
  • I have now told a few people that we are trying, and I kinda think I would want people to know as soon as i get my bfp even before the 12 weeks are up, It would be nice to have the support there even if something goes wrong.

    I keep changing my mind about everything by the second ! LOL !
  • Hi hun got my bfp last friday, have told a few people at work, and family thats it! x x
  • we have only told 1 close friend but noone else knows. i really dont want the pressure of people asking all the time or feeling sorry for me when af comes. although i dont think my bfp will be a great surprise when it comes coz everyone always knows we wanted another.

    as for bfp time im going to try and hold off as long as i can but we see how long i would last.lol.xxx
  • Everyone knows we're ttc lol! But everyone knows how desperate I was to start so there was no way I was going to be able to keep it a secret! We will prob tell close family and friends as soon as we get a BFP-my logic is that they would find out if something went wrong so may as well tell them straight out. Plus as I said before, I couldn't keep it secret if I tried!
  • we weren't telling anyone at all but after i had a mini breakdown at my mums house last weekend after hearing my brother was going to have a baby i told her! was a huge relief to talk about it t osomeone other than OH. not sure when we'll tell people when i do get pregnant. i'd like to tell immediate family straight away coz like plumduff said, i figured that we'll only tell them anyway if something goes wrong so they might as well know from the start! OH wants to wait a bit longer though. i'm also now a bit worried coz i wouldn't want to tell anyone else but them for a ehile but my brother and sil were very easy going and told everyone from the start so now i'm worried that my family won't take it seriously when i tell them not to tell anyone
  • we havent told anyone we are ttc and plan to keep it that way till 12weeks gone!

    okay ive told my best friend but shh dont tell hubby! lol just had to talk to someone other than dh about it! xx
  • Hi there

    We have told our parents as they offered help once LO was here and just enquired if they meant it as we were never ever planning to have LO's. Other than that, there is just a select few. I will probably tell those select few when we fall but other than that will try and keep it quiet. Saying that, I am the worst liar ever and people can tell by my face as I'm so bad. Hopefully no one will ever suspect due to the lack of interest in babies as previously said,

    V xxx
  • We didn't tell anyone last time and didn't tell them I was pregnant until after my 14 week scan even then we didn't tell everyone and left it until 20 weeks to tell others!

    I don't like people questioning me and I know they would if they knew we were ttc. Won't tell people I am pregnant until after 12 week scan when I get BFP this time. It was really special being mine and hubby's secret for so long last time! xxx
  • OMG I am finding it so hard to keep it a secret and its not even been a week since my BFP....we have told both our parents but will hold off telling everyone else for a few more weeks, probably till the sickness kicks in and my work colleagues start wondering where I keep disappearing to lol. xxx
  • we have not told anyone we are TTC and will not be telling any1 when we do finally get a BFP until i get to 12 weeks, could not bare to tell everyone and then something goin wrong, have been there and would not want it to happen again. good luck all xx
  • i havent told anyone we are trying, as i dont want people to ask every month!!!

    and id only tell people once we hit twelve weeks, such a scaredy cat!!

    x x x
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