why do people keep asking!!!!!!!!!!

hi guys sorry for the rant but.......

since i have got married everyone asks if we are going to have kids whens the pitter patter etc and i just feel like say i KNOW im not woman enough to get pregnant so bloody sue me

sorry had 3 ppl today decide to ask me and i feel like screaming me

does anyone else get this?


  • Your not alone i get this all the time its got to the stage im fed and if i know the person well ive told them that we have been trying but as yet no luck or if you know them really well that we are having problems that soon shuts them up. lol

    sending you hugs xx
  • Some people can be so insensitive. I would never dream of asking ANYONE when they were going to have kids or start a family etc. I was at my mates a couple of days ago and asked for tea instead of my usual coffee. She said 'oh god youre not pregnant again are you!' I laughed it off but like you I felt like screaming at her 'no! Ive just had a bloody mc, ok!!!!'. I know you cant watch everything you say or you would never say anything, but when it comes to such a private and personal topic as ttc/pg, then I really think people should butt out if they dont know the story!

    Rant away hun, I understand how you feel, and agree with you. xx
  • hi hun, i know how you feel the other day i went and bought a new phone and the bloke selling it to me told me and dh that we should have kids, and he really wouldn't drop it, felt like screaming that i was trying my hardest and it isn't my fault i keep mc (had two since february). Really pisses me of that someone like that feels free to coment on something so personal,
  • Hi ladies, I also know how u feel. I am 33 and TTC for th last 10mths. what also annoys me is when people having baby 6 moan about it, I wish I was in their position.
  • I am actually avoiding people i know are gonna ask me when i'm gonna give my dd a little brother or sister grrr

    It's bad enough I have to watch her coo over my bf newborn without ppl making out like i'm being mean to her.
    I feel like shouting I WOULD LOVE TO BE PG BUT I'M NOT OK
    I wish i had it in me to make them feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel. But i don't I just smile and say i'm not ready for another.

    I've been invited by some mums who's lo's are starting preschool at the same time as my lo to meet and let the kids get to know each other before they start in sept but the other mums are all either pg or got a newborn.
    It makes me feel so inadequate : (
  • I am in the same position maximaxi, i have two and a half year old and since she was a year people have asked me when I will have another. I am fed up of it. People have also said it is cruel to only have one child - how insensitive!! I may well have decided to only have one child and that is MY perrogative. Now i have decided to have another i feel like i will be embarrassed to tell everyone because I made out i was happy with one. I cant win!!

    I dont want any of them to know i am trying but when they keep saying 'your little one needs a brother or sister' i wanna scream "just give me a flipping minute - i'm trying to!!!!!"

  • oh em it's so hard isn't it ?
    my lo is 2 1/2 as well and I was an only child and I so don't want her growing up like i did. I had friends ok but still spent alot of time on my own or with adults. I don't want the same for her.It also means i only have my mum and dad in my family and when they're gone it'll be only me. I thought i'd have 3 or 4 kids but I'm struggling for #2
    It just hurts even more when ppl point out to me what I already know. It really knocks out my stuffing for a while.
    sorry i'm so emotional today I had a bfn this morning image
  • Hi hun i no exactly what you meen me and my hubby have been married for just one yeah but have been ttc for nearly 3 years, when people ask when we are going to be starting a family i just feel like screaming and shouting at them. We are having problems ttc as i have an ovulation disorder but obviously don't tell everyone who asks as it is none of there business. Have you tried a web site called www.gurgle.com there is lots and lots of people who will go through the same as you it is a really good site i love it i find that it has really helped me and you then no that your not on your own and there are lots of people in the same boat some worse than you are and some not as bad as you are i know it doesn't help for me to say this but it is true hope this helps and hope you try gurgle.com you wont be disappointed.
  • yeah, we're not even married yet and family are on at me!!
    they think i should have a wee girl so i can have a flower girl at my wedding!!!! how rude cause you know thats the only reason i should have a baby!!!
    well the jokes on them as we are going to get married in floirda and not tell any one so they can't follow us!! lol!! that will teach them to pressure me!!!
  • Oh ladies - its AWFUL isn't it? Because we symptom spot, it makes it worse if other people do it esp if they don't know you're ttc.

    Like the other day, when I had a hangover, someone asked if I was queasy because of morning sickness. I wanted to scream at them the reason I'd got drunk was to drown my sorrows after a BFN!

    So insensitive.
  • I get CONSTANTLY asked. It absolutely drives me nuts. I just tell people I am not that stupid and I can't stand children. Of course that is not true. I have also been asked if I am pg by my boss and a couple of the girls I worked with. One of them I said "why do you think I have gained weight" and she was really embarrassed, it was quite funny actually. People as so rude and insensitive. We have not told anyone we are ttc-ing mainly in case it does not happen for us we can just maintain that we don't want children.
  • I was in the pub on wednesday evening with my fiance's brother and his new girlfriend. my fiance only proposed a couple of weeks ago and the girl tghere asked me when we are going to have babies!!!! aaaaaah my heart stopped for a mo as i have just had mc and am finding very difficult! i think i pulled as face of despair and said 'as soon as we can'. took me ages to not feel all anxious about the question. I know she didn't know i had had an mc but still, it was a shock.
  • that's quite a good reply bexyh, I never thought of that.

    If you say "as soon as we can" the a**hole asker doesn't know if you are or aren't trying cos you could mean as soon as we've got a new carpet or something or you could mean as soon as the sun the moon the stars oh and the sperm and the egg are all in the right bloody place then we'll have a baby!!!
    I love it, i might start getting some carpet brochures to leave on the coffe table.
    Maxi xxx
  • It's awful isn't it? I would never be so insensitive (even way before i was ttc i was never so insensitive!). People always ask me if we're going to have babies and I just say, yes hopefully one day (which again doesn't imply whether we are trying now or if i just mean one day in the distant future we'll start trying!). And if they press it further, e.g. are you trying? I say well we don't have a definite plan e.g we'll have a baby in x months, but we're just going to wait and see when the time is right. Again, to me that means when the stars align and decide to bless us! But to them it could mean, when the time is right in our lives for us to think about trying.

    Bexy, Babybump4 and girlinleeds, I can't imagine how heartbreaking this question must be if you've miscarried. I would gladly shoot those people for you for asking you this when it must be the hardest thing to deal with already image
  • It always used to be "when are you two getting married?". We got married. Now it's "when are you giving me grandchildren?". I am just worried what the next question will be once we have children?!
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