it's weird, as I still have lots of friends who aren't even in permanent relationships let alone ttc. I have other friends who have had babies in the last couple of years. yet I feel like I've left it late sometimes!! I worry that if nothing happens soon (only on month 2 ttc though) then all I'm doing is getting older and my eggs are getting more old and wrinkly and there's less time to sort anything out!
I'll be 38 in April and I have been trying to conceive since Oct. All my sensible parts of my brain tell me not to stress and not to panic. However my Boyfriend is six years younger than me and I can sense the idea forming that if we have problems then they must be down to me!
YES it makes the pressure worse I think. We are basically told from a very young age that the risk of disability or infertility is massive once you turn 35. Even my own closest friends have had a go at me (And really upset me) by telling me to get a move on!
I am finally with someone who wants children and with whom I want a family so I hope I am successful but it is stressful.
I'm 36 & have been with my oh for 4 years. I never really wanted children til I met him, but now we are ttc it seems really urgent!
No one knows we are trying, we aren't married & I think everyone assumes that we will get married first, so I can see people puzzling about why we haven't announced any plans yet.
The way we see it is we can get married at any time, but the other issue is a bit more pressing!!
I am conscious of my age in particular, but he's alot more laid back about it, with a bit more of a wait & see attitude.
I just turned 30 and feel that it was a significant number in terms of babymaking. However I have two friends who had their first aged 33 and 34, ones just had a second and the other is pg again, so I have hope.
By the time my mother and MIL were my age they were pretty much done babymaking and had eldest children of 12 and 9 (and one on the way) respectively!
Hi, sorry to gatecrash, been nosing around the other forums as not much going on in the toddler one.
I was 20 when I had my first, then I split with his father and took a while to find my soulmate (2002 in fact). We both wanted children, and I had my second son at age 36 after trying for 8mths. My daughter was born when I was 38 after first attempt!. Try not to worry too much. There are lots of articles about how fertility drops after 35, but if you look at the stats more and more women are waiting until they are in their 30's to ttc 1st. And theres lots of help out there if its needed.
Good luck to you all. Im really broody but my partner isn't! :evil:
Didn't mean to make it worse. I just feel old compared to my friends etc who already have children, but not meeting Mr Right till I was 26, then getting engaged and married etc has made it feel like I've been wanting this for a long time.
I'm 36 and my DH is 33. We never really talked about kids until last spring as we've been so busy renovating houses and live in a permanent building site, so the time just wasn't right. We then decided in autumn 07 that time was now of the essence and to get busy with it! We sort of gave ourselves a timeframe of a year of trying, and if it didn't happen then it wasn't meant to be. Having said that it's now 6 mths down the line and I'm starting to get stressed that it's not happened yet! All my friends have had their first kids over the last 2 years, and are now thinking about their 2nd, and they're all a few years younger than me. Just 1 on the way would be good, before I hit the grand old age of 37 in December please! The pressure's on for sure! ; )
Yes! its does seem more of a subject but to be honest Im past caring now (32 next week!) I am starting to notice a lot of older mummies now and those celeb's are all a bit older as well..J-Lo, Nicole Kidman etc so I think try and forget it as its all added stress if u know what I mean. Good luck and baby dust to all us over thirties!
Hi I'm 35 and BF is 30 we have been together 5 years and he has just decided that he is ready so we are trying. It's funny because i don't feel like i'm too old - i still feel young and immature in many ways but then I look around me and some of my peer group have have teenage kids! it's only expected of you in biological terms -what a shame in some ways that it does't just happen when our time is right regardless of age (although I want to be a yummy mummy -not a wrinkly). Like some of you, noone else knows we are trying! they are expecting us to announce a wedding in the near future so at least i can shock them all in a good way! One of my best friends gave birth to a beautiful little girl last month and a week later turned 39! she had been trying for over 3years and she managed it all naturally believing in herself and her patience! There is hope!
Hi, i'm 34 and ttc our 2nd... I was 32 when I got pregnant with our first and 33 when I gave birth... A friend of mine, didn't want children and got caught by accident when she was 40!!! Turned out she had twins!!! Sods law eh???
I'm 32 in July and had LO at 27. Do feel under pressure to have another b4 i'm 35 as risks do increase with age. However MIL had last baby age 42 so who knows? Filo x
Hi, I had my first at 35, second at 37 and third the day before I turned 40, 5 months ago!!! I didn't meet my hubbie until I was 30. I totally agree with Tansey, even now I feel immature in lots of ways. 10 years ago I hadn't even met my fab hubbie, hadn't thought of marriage and certainly didn't think I was mature enough to have children. As Mrs. B said sometimes circumstances conspire against us. I didn't really worry about, conception etc because I guess I hadn't thought about it. We fell pregnant first month of trying with first and 2nd month with second. Sadly I did have a miscarriage before having third, I actually had given up hope and thought I'd started the 'change" when we discovered no.3 was on the way. Don't ever give up hope. Good luck to you all. Tracy xxx
Hi im 33 and DH is 36 tomorrow ! - we are on our 3rd month of trying for our first - i do feel the clock is ticking but i am fitter than a lot of girls in their mid 20s - its weird you spend all that time trying not to get pregnant not knowing whether you actually can
Replies
All my sensible parts of my brain tell me not to stress and not to panic. However my Boyfriend is six years younger than me and I can sense the idea forming that if we have problems then they must be down to me!
YES it makes the pressure worse I think. We are basically told from a very young age that the risk of disability or infertility is massive once you turn 35. Even my own closest friends have had a go at me (And really upset me) by telling me to get a move on!
I am finally with someone who wants children and with whom I want a family so I hope I am successful but it is stressful.
No one knows we are trying, we aren't married & I think everyone assumes that we will get married first, so I can see people puzzling about why we haven't announced any plans yet.
The way we see it is we can get married at any time, but the other issue is a bit more pressing!!
I am conscious of my age in particular, but he's alot more laid back about it, with a bit more of a wait & see attitude.
xx
By the time my mother and MIL were my age they were pretty much done babymaking and had eldest children of 12 and 9 (and one on the way) respectively!
I was 20 when I had my first, then I split with his father and took a while to find my soulmate (2002 in fact). We both wanted children, and I had my second son at age 36 after trying for 8mths. My daughter was born when I was 38 after first attempt!. Try not to worry too much. There are lots of articles about how fertility drops after 35, but if you look at the stats more and more women are waiting until they are in their 30's to ttc 1st. And theres lots of help out there if its needed.
Good luck to you all. Im really broody but my partner isn't! :evil:
I am 31 and currently TTC our first but i have 3 friends that are all in the same position as me and they are all in their late thirties.
Circumstances sometimes conspire against us but if it is meant to be, then it will all work out.
Best of luck, baby dust to all ****************
We never really talked about kids until last spring as we've been so busy renovating houses and live in a permanent building site, so the time just wasn't right.
We then decided in autumn 07 that time was now of the essence and to get busy with it!
We sort of gave ourselves a timeframe of a year of trying, and if it didn't happen then it wasn't meant to be.
Having said that it's now 6 mths down the line and I'm starting to get stressed that it's not happened yet!
All my friends have had their first kids over the last 2 years, and are now thinking about their 2nd, and they're all a few years younger than me.
Just 1 on the way would be good, before I hit the grand old age of 37 in December please!
The pressure's on for sure! ; )
Iz x
Good luck and baby dust to all us over thirties!
Like some of you, noone else knows we are trying! they are expecting us to announce a wedding in the near future so at least i can shock them all in a good way!
One of my best friends gave birth to a beautiful little girl last month and a week later turned 39! she had been trying for over 3years and she managed it all naturally believing in herself and her patience!
There is hope!
Good luck to us all...
Filo x
Tracy xxx