How long will you be ttc for before you stop?

Hi ladies,

We're on month 12 of ttc baby 2.
I've had 2 mc in that time and ttc is taking over my life.
I spoke to hubby last night about stopping ttc if no luck this month.
He understands why I feel this way but I could see the upset in his eyes.

I really don't know what to think.
I think we'd continue forever if we didn't have Ruby but I feel that ttc is such a huge part of my life and I hate it.
I'm sick of testing for ov then BD just because i'm oving rather than because we want to, then spending the next 2 weeks hoping and praying that every slight symptom means that this could be it.

With my 2 previous mc I know that even if I do fall pregnant this month i'll be a wreck through my pregnancy.
I almost lost Ruby at 16 weeks as I have a weak cervix.

Then the birth is a problem as I have a narrow pubic arch and have been told that any furthur births would have to be via c-section.

So as you can see the WHOLE process is a total nightmare.

I'm sorry for going on! It's just really getting to me and need to talk to someone now xx


  • grrr i replied and be ate it!!

    I understand how you feel hun, we were ttc for just under 3 yrs and had been to see fertility experts and told we had unexplained infertility. we were put on the list for IVF. We decided to have a break and gave up trying and within 2 months I fell!

    Sometimes the stress of trying stops everything working naturally! It was taking ove rour lifes and costing us a fortune in OV tests and PG tests.
    I even bought the saliva thing for ovulation!

    I know its easier to say but try enjoying the summer with hubby and Ruby and see how things go!

  • Forever?!!

    I'm the same as you though and feel so lucky to have our ds but ttc really is taking over my life and possibly our relationship too image

    I don't think I could actually stop though and I definitely couldn't go back on the pill or anything so I think I'd always be counting days unofficially.

  • I think age would stop me but don't think I'll ever "stop" until menopause much like goonie said.

    Sorry you're having a rough go of things and hope this month you do get a sticky bean..

  • never. i would love a sibling for my DD but that is up to god to decided (i help him out by doing OPK haha)
    sorry ur having a hard time, if its any help i have noticed that a lot of ladies on here when the decide to take the relaxed approached the got pregnant preety soon after, maybe its worth looking into.

  • I am like you A&R, ttc takes over your life and this month I have had to take step back after 3 mc's in the last 6 months and consider where I'm going to go with all this as I'm 37 and have no other l/o's - it totally wipes you out. I am now on doctors orders not to ttc this month and it is a relief as I can concentrate on my 'real' life!

    I was so close to giving up completely this month and I have just today, had a bunch more tests ordered to see why I'm mcing, but if anything comes back that requires too much intervention, we will not continue to ttc.

    Take a month or two off and try and concentrate your efforts on something else - maybe a class or something - I will be losing weight in my time off from ttc as I packed the pounds on too which just makes me more depressed by it all.

    Whatever you decide make sure you are both in agreement is my only advice and something like this can fester and create issues in the long term. I'm sure you know that, but whatever you decide good luck hun. x
  • I was like that after having ds1. I had 3mmc within 6months then had tests - had to take aspirin to help thin my blood to make them sticky beans and then had ds2 almost a year to the day after mmc no3. We had tried for 4.5years for ds1 and a total of 2 years for ds2 many times I half gave up deciding it wasnt going to happen - last time I gave up i got pg with ds2. I concentrated on losing weight as well as was told this would help my body cope with ttc.
    Hope you make the desiscion right for you
  • Thank you for your replies ladies.

    I never thought i'd ever consider stop ttc as 'why would you'!? but I feel like I devote so much of my time to it and it may never happen and if I don't stop now when should I.

    It's all very confusing for me at the mo. But I like the idea of not stopping completely (ie not getting the implant etc) and just seeing what happens but not testing etc. But I think it'll always be in the back of my mind and I can't stop myself from working out when i'll ov etc. It's my own fault! Haha!!

    Thank you all for listening, well reading! It's really helped writing it down and having someone help.

    I think i'll see if we manage it this month and if not we'll have a proper talk.

    Hubby has mentioned adopting. He's always said that he's wanted to adopt one day, even before the problems arose, as he was adopted out of an awful family and wants to give another child a better life just like his parents did for him.

    Although I always knew about this it was a huge blow when he brought it up recently as a serious option. I totally understand why he wants to but it really hurts.

    Oh I don't know!

    Sorry for blabbering on and thank you if you got this far! xx
  • g/c But wanted to offer a (((((hug)))))

    I wanted to give up ttc after my mc in aug i felt like it wasnt going to happen after that and then we decided to continue and at xmas i went on a diet took pregnacare like my life depended on it and at the end of feb stopped ttc but we didn't do anything to stop babies image i was having tests and things done on my head and we had sex when we wanted and i really did manage to forget when i was ov and when af would of been due.... well 1 day before my af would of been due i realised i had not started spotting and that i felt rubbish and that i haddnt pooped in about a week and a half image i have IBS and always go go go image
    Tested and there was that BFP and i still dont belive that after 20 months ttc and 2 mc we had done it again.... i am 14+2 and i was so worried after 2 mc already but i plodded along and took each day as it came and got to my 12wk scan although i was 13+4 :lol: and there was pud all fine.......

    I really believe that is was a mixture of my new diet OH diet, pills and relaxing that helped my clam bean stay put....

    I hope this helps and i am sure you really will get that bfp your waiting on... and a super sticky one at that xxxxx

    gembags xxxxxxx ((((hugs)))) sorry for going on image
  • Thank you gembags, that's really reassuring.
    I'm so pleased that pud has stuck this time, you must be so happy! xx
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