SO miserable and cant stop crying

We went to out hospital appointment yesterday and were basically told there is not a lot of hope. I have had all the tests, folicle tracking hsg etc and hubbie has been tested and there final decision is that there is nothing wrong apart from I have irregular cycles but I do ovulate.

Consultant basically told us he is signing us off and if we do want any further treatment we will need to go provate. NHS waiting lists in the area are 2 years and at 34 there is not a lot of point.
He told us the longer we wait not conceiving the slimmer the cahnce it will ever happen naturally.

I am heartbroken and cant stop crying. Really dont know if I can put myself through any more.

Sorry for the ramble x


  • Oh honey, that sucks image

    Could you afford to go private? Is there a lot they could do for you anyway? Would you consider looking into adoption?

    My stepfather's parents were told they couldn't conceive so adpted him. Within weeks she was pregnant then went on to have another! Sometimes our bodies don't do exactly what the doctors say they should!

    (big hugs)
  • We could afford it but its not the money. We have been trying for 2 and a half years now and I just feel drained. We have stopped drinking, improved our diet and tried to be healthy but nothing.
    It all just seems so unfair when 2 of our friends recently got pregnant 'accidentally'.
    I dont know if I could face all the heart ache if it didnt work x
  • oh hun sorry about this. if they said that there was nothing actually wrong does that mean they think you could still conceive?

    i wish you and your hubby lots of luck, thinking of you xxx
  • image Doing all the right things when people around you are doing the wrong things and getting pregnant is really bad, I know!

    I understand how trying for so long and coming up against brick walls all the time would be disheartening, and you have to make the decision together as to what you want to do.

    I hope things work out for the best for you x x
  • Hi there

    I feel so bad for you, I know it must be heartbreaking to hear that they can't offer any more help. But before you go private, have you tried a company called Fertility Essentials?

    I am a freelance writer writing on complementary healthcare etc...and came across this company when I wrote an article on conception difficulties. Anyway it is run by 2 lovely women (ex nurses who specialise in fertility probs). They have a HUGE success rate with women who have had trouble conceiving - esp if you have been told that you do actually ovulate.

    They told me that the NHS don't have the resources to find out the exact prob so automatically refer people for IVF - many of whom would have been able to conceive naturally if they had the right help. They ask loads of questions and do lots of tests and I have heard so many good things about them - loads of couples who now have lovely babies who thought they could never have them.

    Anyway, if you're interested I can dig out all of their contact details for you - I'm sure they won't mind me posting them!
  • Hey wilmie

    Please please please consider going back to the Drs... you are entitled to IVF if you meet the criteria - it sounds like you do.
    You are on the waiting list - you can always change your mind if you got to the top in two years no harm done lots of couples to take your slot. At least you would have the option.
    At 34 theres still plenty of time I promise.
    Just please think about it now ...
  • hiya sweet (((hugs))) if you have been told they can find no reason for you not to concieve naturally i wouldn't give up but try to not try do i make sense, also go to your drs as someone has already said by a couple of people you should meet the criteria for ivf, you are still only 34, loads of time dont get be downhearted, it must be awful for you xxx
  • Thankyou for all your messages. If you could post the fertility essentials info that would be great.
    I will go back to my doctor and ask but feel like it will never happen for us x
  • Hi there

    As promised, the link to the website is below - all of the contact details are on there. I have spoken with both Fiona and Wendy who run it before - they are both lovely and have already helped someone I know personally when I recommended it to her.

    Don't give up hope. I know it's so hard waiting but you have to believe that your time will come.

    Lots of luck
  • We could afford it but its not the money. We have been trying for 2 and a half years now and I just feel drained. We have stopped drinking, improved our diet and tried to be healthy but nothing.
    It all just seems so unfair when 2 of our friends recently got pregnant 'accidentally'.
    I dont know if I could face all the heart ache if it didnt work x

    Hi Wilmie, i am sorry to hear that. I am in the same boat as you as we have been trying for over 2 years, and each month gets harder and harder. I have had 1 proper af in 2 years (which was May 25th and now makes me CD 40) and have had no luck. I do everything that i feel might help us, but nothing. I am 26 and my partner is 29, we are both fit and healthy and we very rarely drink alcohol (at least once a month if we are lucky), we have never smoked either. It's just not fair. The only thing i have on my side i feel is my age. I am still young enough to just go with the flow for now and see what happens. If i don't fall by the time i am 30, then i don't know what i will do. We get married next year and i know we are going to have to put having a baby on hold until after the wedding. I want to do this because it hasn't been about us for the past few years, it's been about babies, babies, babies and i think we need a little us time.

    I have been to my doctor loads of times, and i have never had any help, i am always fobbed off.

    I know how you must be feeling, and if you ever need to talk, just let me know! All you can do is stay positive no matter what anyone else says, and just hope you get that BFP soon because after what you have been through, you really deserve it!

  • Don't give up! Stay positive and fight fight fight. Go back the doc's hun or find another if there is another one in the area. and demand that something has to be done. Good luck ttc I know it's hard but stick with it xxx
  • Don't give up hope hun, try and keep up some PMA and remember we're always here for you if you want a chat or a cyber hug. It may take some time but i'm sure you'll get there in the end, i hope so anyway. Sxx
  • oh don't give up honey! i know its awful when ppl jst don't seem prepared to help but like jenko said if u meet the critera for IVF on the NHS then get yourself put on the list! You may have changed your mind in a couple of yrs or even have a little beany baby here already.

    try and keep smiling and try not to think of it as being X amount of yrs ttc for ur BFP but X amount of yrs closer to meeting your baby.

    Lots of babydust xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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