how long are you going to keep trying until u go to the doc?

We have been trying since July time- so about 4-5 months of trying. My doctor knows that we are trying and has said that if i am not pregnant in one year to come and see him.

I guess i just thought it would happen sooner rather than later. Everyone i speak to basically got pregnant straight away- lol well so they say.

I am tempted to go and see my doc and ask him what we can do and maybe he would run some tests? What do you think girls??

I am just worried- not even sure why!!!



  • Hi hun,

    I think to be honest a year is the deadline what are you doing every month are you using OPK's or a CBFM? are you regular bding??

  • Hi hun,

    I think to be honest a year is the deadline what are you doing every month are you using OPK's or a CBFM? are you regular bding??

  • Started using the sticks last month and bedding regularly. Worried that we might be bedding too much or somehow missing the right days!

  • Hi hun, I think if you BD every other day as if you are overdoing the sperm isnt of a good quality so try to lay off the BDing he he for a while.

    Also are you charting, temping or anything or just using OPKS are you getting positives on your OPKS. I have only used a First Response one so far and got 2 lines but when you get a positive it is only an indication that you will ovulate within the next 24-36 hours, sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days but your egg can only last 24 hrs so its best to keep topping the swimmers up so thats what I mean by every other night.

    Your lucky because at the moment we dont have time to do the deed ha ha and so are only BDing around ovulation but after xmas I am going to be increasing the Bding if not for the fun of it. Just hubby has been working late nights and working really hard so he hasnt had the energy!!

  • Sparkling diamond- is every other day enough? What if i am close to ovulation? Then everyday?? Lol cant believe we might be over doing it. Hubby is so tired, he also works shifts and very long hours, poor man!!!

  • Trying82 hi hun yeah obviously more during your peak (ov) but every other day leading up to it.

    Google it as I think it says regular every other day is better than everyday hun.

  • ok will have a look! Thanks for the advice, this forum is great...x
  • Zeta west recommends you try to have sex 3-4 times a week and have a healthy diet,you can 'over' do it so to speak where the sperm isnt getting enought time to generate healthy strong ones xx

    even over ov time she recommend that i should also add x
  • Yeah am addicted lol but if I got off here and got down to it ha ha maybe I would get my BFP!!!!

    Oh and if hubby would stop being so damn tired!!!

    he he

  • When we were trying for Lily we did it every day around the time of ovulation and then not really at all rest of the month lol! x
  • Lol life sometimes seems os busy and all you want to do is crawl into bed and sleep...!

    No chance of that anymore!
  • I know it's pants and 4-5mths seems a LONG time but my only advice would be to slow down and try and enjoy it. I really believe a clear, positive mind is the best step forward rather then panicing/stressing and thinking the worst. If you are BDing every other day from the end of your AF to the (proposed) start of your next then you have EVERY chance of scoring the jackpot. If you are using OV sticks then keep a record each month of which day you OV and try and aim to BD every other day (but on the day of OV where possible) this will also help put your mind at rest.

    I'm on month 4, so I feel your pain. But I certainly don't want to panic just yet as lifestyle/stress/coming off the pill etc can really mess up a woman's cycle for a while. I just want to enjoy my life a little without being too obsessed if that makes sense. Good luck chick.....nature works in mysterious ways image

  • Hello
    I am G/C from pregnancy but wanted to offer a bit of advice.

    Firstly the average time it takes even a healthy couple can be around a year, so please don't panic, or worry, as agonising as the wait is 4-5 months is not that long in terms of the time it can take- I completely understand it feels like ten times as long as that though. I was seeing a consultant and he told me 12-18 months is perfectly normal for many many couples.

    It took us 10 months and I'd seen my GP after 6 because I am over 35. Her advice was to BD every 2-3 days and there would be no chance of missing ovulation that way.

    But in the month I fell pregnant we had sex on just 2 days in the whole month! So it just shows you its about catching the exact right time. I used a CBFM, we BD on the first high, and the 2nd peak. I am pretty sure it was the 1st high which caught it because we are expecting a baby girl.

    I'd almost given up and was being referred for IVF when we found out I was expecting.

    Please try not to worry, chart your temps use OV sticks and focus the bulk of BD around that time.

    I know how hard it is, good luck hun


    [Modified by: manologirl on December 16, 2009 10:42 AM]

  • Manolgirl

    Can I just say thanks so much for g/c and putting your post on ttc. I have been feeling a bit hopeless about the whole ttc business these last couple of days but your post has made me think about things logically and calmly and it has given me a great deal of pma again!!! I am just entering month 8 and like everyone else thought that it wouldnt take us long at all (it seemed to happen quite quickly for everyone else that we know). I started to think that something was wrong as it is taking this long but in reality we havent really been trying that long at all. We're using CBFM and having regular sex around ov. Im a bit of a stress head by nature so I have started going to pilates and have the Zita West relaxation CD to help me relax. I guess all we can do now is wait for it to happen. Thanks again for your post.

    Liz xx
  • Hi - I have been trying for almost two years and have been to doctors.. Had blood test and I am ovulating okay. Next step is for hubby to get tested but unlikely it is him as i got PG before when had MC....
    The first thing the doc asked me was how often I had sex.. I honestly dont think we had it enough before we are both busy but in the last 4 months have commited to every other day and then everyday close to OV.
    We have decided that if nothing happens by end Jan then back to docs and I will move to Long term trying ! Have been on there but decided to try here first.
    I really think until you need to BD all the time for a good few months before going to the docs...
    My friend was trying for a year and then one month BD everyday sometimes twice a day! and gpt PG first time ! and now has two little girls I am taking her advice for now.

    Good luck to everyone x
  • Hi Lizzybuffe

    I completely understand how you feel, it can be a long lonely journey too because we often don't tell people we are trying and so no-one knows how you feel each month when things don't go your way.

    I used the Zita West cd actually on the month I fell PG. Its wonderful and I truly believed it helped, I really hope it helps you too.
    I also started yoga that month, so perhaps that helped chill me out as well. Pilates will have the same relaxing effect.

    One final thing was acupuncture, which I had for several months, it really helped me and I am sure it played a part in conception for me.

    Don't give up, you are doing all the right things and looking after yourself. I really wish you well, and hope to see your BFP very, very soon.

  • Thanks Manolgirl. The only thing that is concerning me really at the moment is that every cycle at around 10dpo I start getting dark brown discharge which lasts until tmy AF arrives( it may even been blood thats old but really cant tell). I have been to the doctor about it and they dont seem to concerned by it, theyve done tests to check my hormone levels and there's nothing out of the ordinary. I just cant help but thinking that its an indicator that something is wrong but they wont do any other tests until we have been trying a year so will have to sit tight and be patient. If you dont mind me asking, is acpuncture expensive and do you have to state the reason why you are having it so that they can focus on the right areas?
  • Hi Lizzy, g/c to say don't worry about the discharge - I used to get exactly the same. It would start four or five days before AF was due and would carry on until AF arrives. I am now almost 13 weeks pregnant.

    If you have come off the pill it can take a while to get back to normal, even if you are having regular periods. I came off the pill about three years ago and had a coil fitted. I reckon it took a good six to eight months before I started ovulating properly, with ewcm etc, but my af was regular as clockwork from the moment I came off it.

    Please try not to worry you will have your bfp before you know it!

    Lucy xxx
  • Hi Lizzy

    If your GP is not worried about the discharge I'd try to chill about it hun. Everyone body reacts differently to hormones especially around AF time and it may just be the way your body reacts.

    As for acupuncture, i found a fertility specialist through the British Acupuncture council website, which lists qualified people in each area.

    So she worked with me to help lengthen my LP which was very short and regulate my Afs and I went weekly for quite a while. Each treatment was tailored to where I was in my cycle and also targeted other aspects like energy and mood and also stress.
    I still go to sessions now as I find it so relaxing and calming and I am sure it played a part in my BFP.
    Your therapist may be able to help with the discharge and other aspects you might be worried about. They target treatment specifically to you.

    Costs vary depending on each area, I pay ??40 a session, but some ladies find therapists cheaper than that.
    I see it as an investment in my health, I literally float out of the door after each session it is so relaxing and calming.

    I hope that helps, do shout if you need any more advice hun and the very best of luck

  • Hey,

    we have been trying for just over a year now. But in all fairness - sometimes I feel like we can't say we've been trying constantly as some months the timing has just been so wrong - i feel like we've only really tried for 3 months.

    we wanted to enjoy it - i think we didn't want our sex life to be calculated - we wanted to BD when we wanted to BD - and not just because the 'time was right'. 2 b honest i feel like we always got the chance when the time in my cycle wasn't right at all.

    So - I think - because we definitely tried last month - and hopefully this will continue - if we r consistent in trying but nothing happens by March 2010 then I will have us booked in as I did go to the docs just before we started trying so he is fully aware of how long it's been. I've had 2 blood tests over the past year - maybe 3 (nothing to do with ttc) they never told me that the results showed anything that indicated problems with ttc and i'm hoping they would have told me if there was a problem.

    Anyway - at 3 months I felt like it had already been a yr but now a yrs gone by I don't really think we should be worrying because we haven't been doing everything by the book - like opks, bd'ing every other day at the right time etc but now i am using my cbfm and have started to try - like i say - if no bfp by March I will be booking us in just to make sure that everything is ok - rather than trying and not knowing if there is something else we need to do to help us get our LO.

    Good Luck sweetie -
    gosh I hope i've not just ranted - just wanted you to know - u are definitely not alone in how ur feeling.


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