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hello there

i am 20 yrs old i have been married for a year and been with my husband for four years before that. i have a job as a emt and have been living stably at a residence for a long time. why i am writing this is because me and my husband have wanted a baby for a while and didnt b/c of how young we were and all the obvious reasons of marriage and money and a home. well we have all that now and i still find that i am being judged. the people i have told took it as a joke in a way saying i am trying to play house and i am not ready. i am very muture for my age and dont understand why b/c of that little number i should be thought of as not being "a good mother" i am torn. i would realy like anyones opinion if they would like to give it.

thank you very much

gina20

Replies

  • thank you very much for your support. i think i am gonna take that advice

    gina20
  • No matter what you do people will have an opinion on it, there is no right age to have a baby, it's when you feel ready, and if you feel ready now go for it! Take care.x
  • hiya there im nearly 17 and due anyday i find it hard and like i shud be ashamed to go out but at the end of the day its the people who dont matter to judge me one distant family said oh god! about my baby and that really hurt me but at the end of the day i have all the best intentions and i going give motherhood my best shot even though i feel like the worlds against me my boyfreind is older and he does so much for me we live together have a lovley house and anything our baby could ever need. at the end of the day no matter what my age or yours is if you have love for your unborn baby now that can only bring good things to your baby i care for my o.h's daughter on a weekend her mum is ten years older than me and doen't bath her or look after her properly social monitor her and i take care of her and every weekend have to get rid of her headlice bcoz her mum lets her kids crawl in them she doesnt deserve kids so doesn't that show age has nothing to do with it xx
  • hi gina welcome too the site.it sounds like you are in a happy,stable relationship.you and your husband obviously adore each other,and you both want a baby.i can see no reason why people should judge you.i think you should go with what you and hubby want,and people can like it or lump it!!! believe me,it doesnt matter what age you are,as soon as you have a baby,there will always be a friend or family member butting in giving their opinion and critisising you. but hey,you can always come on here and whinge about it with us.good luck to you.love Gayle xx
  • It does not matter how old you are as long as you feel ready. Having a child is as knackering and stressful as it is rewarding. I had my son in 2003 aged 25. He is amazing and on the whole an angel, sleeping through the night since 7 weeks old (apart from when he is ill!). I would not change anything about my family, apart from wanting another baby!, but sometimes wish I had done more before having a child,as simple things like going to the gym can be hard to accomplish now. Motherhood is a choice between your duties and yourself!
  • hi gina dont worry about what other people think its up to you and you oh i had all 4 of my kids by the time i was 22 and that was 16 years ago i am now trying for number 5 and will have a huge age gap but its what i want not what others think that i do good luck love anita x x x
  • i dont agree with you granny j i had my first at 17 then 18 21 and 22 i do not regret having them so young and i am now a grandmother to rayyan who is 2 an half and would not change anything i have done i have still had a ful and happy life i also split with their father just before having my last but it made no differance only yesterday my youngest son told me i was the best mum and that made me so proud so gina you do what you want hun only you can decide love anita x x x
  • hi gina i had my first baby when i was 20 and i had only been with my oh a short while, we then went on to have no2 when i was 22 and when she was 6 weeks old we got married. i had no3 when i was 30 and no4 when i was 33. we have been together 15 years now and we are ttc no5. lots of people said we were too young and we wouldent last but if you love each other it should not matter how old you are.
    i would say go for it and be happy together

    love leighxxx
  • i would like to thank everyone for there support me and my husband have talked about it and have decided yes. i go to the doctor in 2 wks when i get the go ahead were gonna start ttc

    thanks again everyone i appreciated all of your opinions and advice gina
  • hi,i had the same. i was with my boyfriend for around 2yrs and we thought about trying but i am a hairdresser and when i told people (clients) theywere like,ooh your so young what do u wanna do that for?i was like....errr im 24 and anyway maybe we want to! im sure they just didnt want to find a new hairdresser!y do people have to be so negative?y cant thay lie if need be an pretend to be happy!!! in closer mag this week it showed that girl that got pregnant at 16 i think and the dad was 13, they still together and have more kids now so age has nothin to do with it!oooh it gets me mad!!
  • I would do whatever makes u both happy i had a baby at 21 it was great my daughter is now almost 6 it was the best thing that ever happened to us.
  • Hi gina20, I'm 24 and am pregnant with our 3rd daughter. Strangers will judge you now and will continue to judge you when you are pregnant and even after you have your baby even if you are the worlds greatest mother. They always seem to have an oppinion ...so sod 'em i say and let them poke there ideas up their bum, because at the end of the day the decision you make will only affect you and your family so please dont listen to others critisism's ....especially if they dont know you! I had our eldest when i was 19 (oh is 2yrs older than me) and we had our second when i was 22 and am having our third at 24 (due in 25 days) I really dont care what people think of me as i'm a confident mother and i know my children are well cared for ...this is what i was built to do lol! I'm not married as i dont think this is top of mine and fiance's list of priorities at the mo but we plan on marriage before anymore little sproglette's make their appearence ...my poor wedding dress is still boxed on top of the wardrobe and it was bought early last year! So i'd def go for it as it sounds as if you have a perfectly stable relationship. Good luck TTC xxx
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