Why are people so quick to jump in and..

share their unwanted opinions!!!
Im 19 turning 20 and my partner is almost 21 and everyone is saying we are silly for ttc.
His parents seem to think its going to be the end of our lives and keep saying they are too young to be grandparents!!
Then his sister says she will be angry if he gets me preg!!
Then his cousin is all butting in an saying stuff, even though she dislikes me anyway so it doesn't surprise me she's joining in.
Last year i had 2 mmc, the first we told our families, my family was happy then his parents said that we had ruined our lives and would never have any kind of social life again!! When i lost the baby at 15 weeks his parents didnt really seem that fussed, they just said "Oh well at least your still young, plenty of time to try again later in life" then his sister didnt even say sorry about it or anything, she just said "You shouldn't have got yourself preg!"
Then with the 2nd preg we decided not to tell anyone, i ended up telling my nan and she was supportive and helped me through the mmc but didnt bother telling his family, not that they would have cared!!
My nan is the only person who is being supportive in this whole thing and says its our lives and we can live them how we like.
I understand that I'm still young but its not like I'm still in school and can't take care of myself.
I have been with my partner over 3 years and we plan to get engaged soon, we have our own house that we bought and pay a mortgage on, we are both in good paid jobs and we have our own great dane doggy Jonah image

Sorry to rant on, not expecting any replies, just had to get it off my chest lol.

xx emma xx




Posts

  • hun am sorry ur families are not bein supportive, i cant believe they acted like that when u had ur miscarriages to me that just rude and completly unsenstive and u deserve better (huge hugs for you) you and ur partner defo have ur heads screwed on and i wish you all the luck in gettin ur bfp soon, personally in the future wen get ur bfp, i wouldnt even tell them till you was showin and if they ask why u didnt tell them ur preg, id say well u werent bothered before and i dont need the stress so whats the point.
  • hi emma, i think people and especially parents always think they know what's best for us. No doubt when we have children we will be the same!

    I'm 27 and just had a miscarriage. Got married last year but have been with hubby for 10 years. At the time, our parents kept on at us for being too serious too young but we knew we loved each other and we are still going strong 10 years on.
    Although this was our first pregnancy, we too bought a house when we were 19 and moved in together then.

    I think if you're mature for your age, you're happy and you're in love then what's the problem? Ignore their comments and when you're celebrating your 70 wedding anniversary you can show everyone!!
    Good luck with ttc, i hope we both get our bfps soon!x
  • Hi!

    I am new to this forum. We are on our first month ttc.

    We haven't told anyone we are trying, but my oh's parents keep telling us we are too young to think about babies yet - and we are 27! His mum tells us we should wait at least another 5-6 years, when we will have had time to enjoy ourselves! - wtf??! (We have been together 2 very happy years).

    I think where babies are concerned, you will always get people trying to tell you what they think you should and shouldn't be doing. I say ignore 'em. As you say you are happy and settled, and adult enough to make your own choices. After all you have been through with your mc's they should be supporting you and your oh.

    Good luck hun and hope you get your much wanted lo soon!x
  • Hi all.

    I turn 37 this year and SO wish I hadn't left it this long to try ... the odds are so much more stacked against me - and it's scary!

    You have loving partners it would seem, and have more stability than a lot of women out there - so I say if it's really what you want in your hearts GO FOR IT!!! After all, you are the ones that will be caring for your babies!!

    There... I have spoken LOL

    Good luck to you all.

    xxx
  • Thank you ladies image
    Makes me feel better when people are supportive and don't make me feel like a silly little child.
    Don't know what i would do without this site lol.
    Can't wait to get a BFP and sit and tell them with a huge smile on my face, if they don't like it then they don't have to have anything to do with my baby, thats the way i see it anyways image
    xxx
  • as all the others have said do what makes you and your oh happy! Only you can decide what's right for you. Good luck ttc x
  • hiya everyone! sorry about the mc's on here image. babynow please, i know exactly how u feel, so sorry ur family havent been supportive, dont forget everyone on here will always try and cheer u up, we are all here for you, it will be your time son dont worry image

    i am 21, my hubby2 b is 23, we are ttc, we have a mortgage also, getting married in 9 days! omg. people also say to me we are too young etc etc, luckily our parents dont mind being grandparents and try and support is, even tho its obvs that they would like us to wait a yr or so, alot of people are being very bitter about it, we havent officially told anyone we are ttc, but everyone knows it will be happening after the wedding (we have been ttc for 3 months). i just hate that people think they can comment on our life choices and stick there ore in, there is no reason we cannot try for a family, its what we both want! i would understand if i was maybe 17 or something. but we can support ourselves and a family, and just because im young doesnt mean i wont be a great mum tall. sorry to rant, it justs gets on my nereves, sorry about ur situation, but im happy to see is not just me who is getting this image xxxxxxxxxx
  • Do your parents etc not remember that a generation ago settling down at your age was the done thing? My mum was 20 when she had me and says she was nearly an old maid by then! She's probably exagerating a little but when I had dd at 31 I was definitely seen as an 'older' mum! My hubby and I just happened to not meet our special person until eachother at 29 and 34 but I think there is a lot to be said for having kids younger. A shirls says, it is harder to concieve when older as well as the actual running after a kid. Plus- and I don't mean this to sound condescending or anything, but by the time we had our daughter we were used to a certain lifestyle so it was that bit more of an adjustment than if had her 10 years previously.
    Honesty pet once you fall pregnant people will butt in with opinions, then when have the child there will be even more so screw them, it is you and oh having the baby not them so go for itimage
    Rar! Sorry didn't mean that to sound like a rant lol
  • i do see what u mean aswell littlewolf, without offending or upseting anyone of course, i can see what ur getting at *smiles* i can understand peoples concerns, but there are some exeptions to peoples views of 'young mums'. if u have met ur special someone like mummychop says, and you are going to spend the rest of ur life with them, and u r emotionally and financially ready for a baby then go for it image i would imagine littlewolf probly sees alot of people in not very nice/convenient situations after becoming pg, being a midwife and all. how are u now btw littlewolf?

    do not mean to offend anyone if i have, tried to word that in a round about way! lol. xxxxx
  • So sorry to hear what should be a happy time is so upsetting for you. I am going to echo majority of opinions on here and say follow your heart. You both are working and have a home and can support your baby so what is the problem. I think that is awful how they reacted towards your MC's.

    Mine is not the same situation but similar. I was married for nearly two years to someone who I was with for nearly ten years. I wasn't very happy at all after a year of marriage I realised he wasn't going to change (he had a huge amount of debt and was quite happy me paying the mortgage and majority of bills on the flat I got in my name - thought this would change once married but it didn't. Plus he started to knock my confidence by turning me down all the time) I asked for divorce last August. Someone else started paying me attention and making me feel so happy whilst i was still married and we texted a lot. Anyway cutting a long story shorter I am with that person now and never been happier! We have been together nearly a year (see ticker below). We both know we are going to be together for life now and have just started TTC. I got the what will everyone think speech from my Mam and it really burst my bubble. I know both my parents and his Mam will be over joyed when I fall pregnant. We both just think life is too short and this is what we both want so everyone else can mind their own business!

    By your post has triggered a lot of long rants ha ha. You just follow your heart. Good luck xx

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  • well said shoegal glad ur happy now image where did babynowplease go? i hope we didnt scare her off with our longs posts lol. hope ur ok babe xxxxxxxx
  • Hi, I'd say don't listen to them hun.

    Sorry about the mc's. How they treated you is awful!

    I was married and had my first child at 20 and my second at 24!! Though my first was a 'surprise' and their father and I divorced I don't feel like I ruined my life, it did make me 'grow up' rather quick though lol image !! I made a decision that was right for me at the time, I was ready to be a mum and always wanted to be a young one.

    No one should ever tell you you're making a mistake, even if they think it! I have a sister that is pg with her third at just 22 and her boyf is a loser who refuses to work, I truly do think she's making a mistake but she seems happy with her life so I sit back and smile and say congrats! image

    Good luck with the ttc hun!
  • well said shoegal glad ur happy now image where did babynowplease go? i hope we didnt scare her off with our longs posts lol. hope ur ok babe xxxxxxxx

    Thanks *me*. I am not sure but I had to go and do infection control training zzzzz :lol:

    xx

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  • Sorry ladies had doggy training last night not long after i wrote this post then by the time i got home i was shattered lol.
    Thank you for all your support and kind replies image
    I would do anything in the world to have a baby, i left my old job for a higher paying job because i knew it would help with more support and we also save money up for when we do have a baby, we have around ??100 so far but only been saving since feb lol.
    I feel im very mature for my age, im a lot different to my friends my age, they still go out all the time and most sleep around, i get scared people will look at me and think i will be a crap mum because of my age, which i feel isnt true, but i know how some people see young mums.

    I dont really see why pauls parents have such a huge problem with it tbh, they always say things like... well you will never be able to go travelling and will never be able to go out.
    We didnt want to go travelling anyways so thats complete crap lol.
    His cousin sent me a message over facebook like i think you are both making a huge mistake and in my opinion you are too young.
    I replied saying: Well thanks for your opinion but it means nothing to me, we are happy with our lives and plans and if you or anyone else doesnt like them then you dont need to be part of them.

    xxx
  • I think that if you've had pregnancies before and still want a baby then nothing anyone can say will change your mind. If you fell pregnant and thought 'oh crap we're too young' then would be a different matter but you sound like you've a wise head on your shoulders, and have a supportive partner. Just a pity you've to listen to unwanted opinions.
    Give it time, they'll see how serious you both and and what great parents you'll make. Travelling the world isn't for everyone x
  • well done for sticking up for urself on fb babnowplease! people say the same to me about travelling lol, no clue y, i have never wanted to travel, and even if i had thousnda of pounds, i still wouldnt want to, its just not my thing u no? all i have ever wanted to do/be with my life is to be a mum. obvs i will have to work aswell for income, but truely that is enough for me, i dont need expensive hols and nights out to make me happy, i just want a family, some people find that so hard to understand?

    i really feel for u hun, at least my family are trying to support us, even tho they dont 100% agree, but im sure once u get ur sticky bean and have a nice bump/or LO running around they will soon change theyre tune, prove them wrong and be the amazing mum u and ur OH no u will be. xxxx
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