what would you do????


I am not a regular poster due to my husband being a bit of a pain in the bum!!! ha ha!! but i'm hoping you can give me some help!!!

i have desperate for a 2nd baby (we have a boy who is almost 5) but husband is not so keen!!! he has said the only way i will get pregnant is to basically do it without him knowing as he will not agree to trying for a baby!!!

as i am desperate should i go ahead and get my coil taken out or should i not and keep talking to him about it!!!

i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallllly want another baby and this christmas has really made me realise how much i do not want our son to be an only child!!

what do i do!! sooooo confuzzled!!!!




  • If you don't mind me asking, why doesn't your hubby want another?

    I think he is being a bit cheeky actually. Putting all the onus on you is just not fair. You're a partnership and should make this decision together. Him just saying "if you want one have one but don't expect me to get involved" is out of order.

    If it were me, I would sit him down, explain in very simple terms how you feel, and ask him how he feels and what his objections are. Then go from there.
  • we have been having this talk now for just over a year!!
    He is almost 39 and feels he is too old which he most certainly is not! he also thinks that we can start to do things that we haven't done since our boy!! all this i do tend to agree with but i also no that none of it will matter!!!
    finances is also an issue as with everyone but i am going back to work full time when i find a job grudgingly so hopefully this won't be an issue but we'll see!
    he knows how i feel as i tell him at least once a week!!
    i think he is being unfair and i feel like its asking me to be sneaky and go behind his back which i don't think i can do!!

    oh i dont know anymore!!!
    thanks for replying
  • Maybe try not to discuss it with him for a while, say maybe a month or so. Then sit him down one day and explain how you feel including that you don't want your son to be an only child because one day you as parents will not be around and he will have a sibling who is still around. I know this sounds bad but it was one of the things my oh and i discussed (so many deaths in family this year and forced us to re-evaluate things). Also re. his age, the soon you start trying hopefully the younger he will be as a dad... if this makes sense. For him, maybe the earlier years of a young child was very hard and this put him off. But since you guys have done it before, it can be done again and remind him the early years go by quickly and the remember the joy your son brought both of you when he was born. Maybe remove your coil,let him know use condoms while still talking things through and he hopefully will change his mind.

  • I have to get my coil out any way due to the excrutiating pain it gives me!
    He knows how I feel and I think I am wearing him down slowly but it's hard being in limbo!
    I just really want a baby so much it physically hurts!
    I need to persuade him some more.
    Thanks for replying
  • Well apart from anything, I think it's about time your husband took the responsibility for the protection for a while! You poor lamb, having to have a coil that hurts you, make him wear condoms!

    Sorry, bit ranty there, just upset me to think that you are in pain.

    What I would say is that I think that all men fear change to a lesser or greater degree. If my hubby had had his way we would still be living in a grubby share house with his smelly friends. There are a lot of things that you have to wear them down on. Once they agree with you they realise that in fact you were talking sense all along and they are pleased with the decision, it's just a pain in the ar*se getting them there.

    I once saw a TV programme where a dog trainer used the same techniques on men that she used on her dogs...................and they worked.
Sign In or Register to comment.