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Anyone else changed their mind? or feel wary?
Not sure if this should be in Planning, but it's very quiet there!
We've been planning another baby for ages (my ds is 2) and were about to start trying.
But the more I think about it the more scared I feel. Some days I can't cope with my DS and we're struggling financially. I think how beneficial a bro or sis would be for my DS as he's very much an only child type but then I think how much my DS would be missing out on too - I'm very much a frugal person, and with 2 kids I could not afford football club or swimming lessons like I planned for my DS in the next few yrs.
Also I feel I'm spiralling out of control with my house, I'm struggling a lot with anxiety and my house is really clean but when it gets a bit messy I feel pure panic, I'm an obsessive list writer and constantly worry that one day I will not get something done. I know its pathetic!! Ive also started a new job, which I love.
Me and my OH talk about names etc all the time ...and love the thought of another in a way...but the more I think about it, I'm feeling way too selfish right now. I want my clean house and easy, one-child lifestyle...
BUT my OH will not try in a few years as he doesnt want a gap bigger than 3-4 years!!! I'm 22 so not like I haven't got the time left, but even so....I doubt he'll change his mind!!!
It's so hard as my hearts saying go for it and I'm so excited but my head is saying that its a terrible idea!!!! xx
We've been planning another baby for ages (my ds is 2) and were about to start trying.
But the more I think about it the more scared I feel. Some days I can't cope with my DS and we're struggling financially. I think how beneficial a bro or sis would be for my DS as he's very much an only child type but then I think how much my DS would be missing out on too - I'm very much a frugal person, and with 2 kids I could not afford football club or swimming lessons like I planned for my DS in the next few yrs.
Also I feel I'm spiralling out of control with my house, I'm struggling a lot with anxiety and my house is really clean but when it gets a bit messy I feel pure panic, I'm an obsessive list writer and constantly worry that one day I will not get something done. I know its pathetic!! Ive also started a new job, which I love.
Me and my OH talk about names etc all the time ...and love the thought of another in a way...but the more I think about it, I'm feeling way too selfish right now. I want my clean house and easy, one-child lifestyle...
BUT my OH will not try in a few years as he doesnt want a gap bigger than 3-4 years!!! I'm 22 so not like I haven't got the time left, but even so....I doubt he'll change his mind!!!
It's so hard as my hearts saying go for it and I'm so excited but my head is saying that its a terrible idea!!!! xx
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Replies
I agree with BK in that perhaps you should perhaps see the doctor about your anxiety. I'm very particular about my house too but perhaps if its affecting such a big decision its time to do something about it?
Also, maybe give yourself a few months to either save some money or sort out your finances, or set out a plan just so that you feel abit more confident.
Xx
now I worry about it not happening! I doubt you will ever not worry, but you do need your OH to know that and support you. Feel free to bend my ear if you need a chat..
I'm actually already pg i just linger around here sometimes, and i'm very nervous about those forst few weeks when the house is likely to be chaotic. I'm hoping i'm just that tired i can sleep throught the thoughts of it lol!
But if you have two then the likelihood is eventually they'll occupy themselves in their room or in the garden (mine of which is also only half done) and you'll probably have less stress than if there was just one always wanting mommys affections. I'm just basing that on the way me and my sister were!
I'd take a month or two to perhaps see your doctor or just make a plan of how you'd cope just to make you feel a little more confident.
xx
I have a ds who is 18 months and we are thinking of ttc no2 starting when af arrives in a couple of weeks. But its days like today I wonder how I will cope. I find it hard thinking of things to do with him at the weekend. And by the end of the day Im knackered. He has so much energy and just likes to push you, like tonight he continually climbed onto his toy box and stood there crying to get down!! I actually thinkl that in the long run it will be easier as having 2 quite close together they will be more into the same things and can play more together.Sorry prob not helped much but wanted to say your not alone!! Such a tough decision!
Em x