Anyone else's OH being a moody man over ttc?!?!

Hi, need a lil advice and maybe just a moan. My OH has a low sex drive and I don't so at the best of times I'm the one badgering him into having a bit of nooky! However since we decided to try he is increasingly moody and its because it just hasnt happened like that. If he continues the way he is we will never ever conceive as our sex life is slowly disappearing as I can't even be bothered with badgering him. We only got married in July and it really concerns and upsets me. I do ask if he finds me attractive sexually and he assures me he does but I think he'd need to tell his pecker! I'm making light of it all but I am upset and fear for our whole marriage....if there's no intimacy and he is so tired and fed up with work theres no chat either I don't know what that leaves....oh yeah a stand in for his mummy that'd be about it.

Sorry for rant and thanks for reading x image

Posts

  • Hi my oh gets a little like this some times im sure they get pmt lol.. some times he will look at me befor we go to bed as say do we have to do it tonight . We have been trying from june09 hope you feel better soon.x
  • My oh was like that last night, but he hasnt been very well, and he was knackered, i have told him he doesnt have a choice tonight coz i think the last couple of days i have been OV and i dont wanna miss it. lol xx
  • sorry double post

    [Modified by: DiscoDivaSara on December 17, 2009 10:10 AM]

  • My oh has been like this the past few days, saying I am badgering him cos I only want his 'sperm' for a baby and nothing else. It's not the case, but I have stopped asking - he seems to think that you don't need to pin point baby making, that it can happen any time in the month but its pointless talking to him cos he won't understand. I think I ov'd yesterday - or maybe its coming up to ov - I am having some cramps today - AF not due til about 6th Jan - my last month cycle was 36 days.
  • Hey hun,

    Sorry to hear that things aren't going so well. I'm not sure what advice to give really but I think you do need to try and get your DH to talk to you properly about things. Men do have a tendency to bury their heads in the sand and just do the whole 'it'll be ok' thing but obviously that isn't the solution and sometimes they need to be told just how bad we're feeling!! I'm sure that your DH would be upset if he knew how much you were questioning things between the two of you but there does seem to be something amiss if he isn't interested in sex or talking at all. I would suggest trying to have a proper conversation with him maybe on one of his days off when he isn't so tired and if you can't get to the bottom of the issues then perhaps see a therapist or relationship counsellor or some sorts? Like you say you haven't been married for long so you need to get this sorted out for both your sakes. Good luck chick, we're here whenever you need to talk.x.
  • Thanks girls for your replies it makes me feel better as at the min I just can't be bothered. I got a smiley face last week and said jokingly that I needed his best swimmers....I was working late, came home and he was sound asleep. I did manage to nab him the next nite but he like your OH disco diva thinks you can get pregnant at any time of the month and it is turning it all into a chore. I just feel now that I don't want a baby being brought into our family so am just not trying at all. Argh.

    Thanks again for reading x
  • Thanks trixie, I know that the whole moody and not talking its his work as he is self employed and in the buliding industry and there is little work around and he has to search for every scrap of work he gets. I understand his moods but it gets tedious, I'm generally happy go lucky and I'm sure I am not perfect to live with either. I'll maybe try get some conversation out of him tonight!! x
  • Hi Jules
    I got married this summer too and since then OH just took everything less lightly with work and stuff because even though I can pay for myself there is this feeling in men that they have to provide and then adding a baby to provide for...well, he put so much pressure on himself that he was to down to do much BDing...but we talked about it and I also told him also about when I can conceive.
    I hope your OH opens up a bit and BDing at any time during cycle helps too because then he knows that it is not only for the swimmers
    xxx
  • thanks shuck, I am gona try to chat to him tonight, but I'll maybe put the baby trying on the back burner for a while! x
  • sorry trixie i seem to have the same rude veg as u....i hope that perticular rude veg brings us both a bfp!!
    Hun really I dont know what to suggest but maybe talk to him about it, I know thats easier said than done - I have kind of just been more relaxed this month ttc - we should have our bfp's soon
  • No worries DiscoDivaSara - like you say fingers crossed it will bring us both our bfp's - I really hope so!!!.x.
  • Hi jules-x, my oh is also self employed and in the building industry it is very hard at the moment.

    We got married in May too and have been struggling ever since we only started trying end nov because dh knew how much I have wanted this for years. He seems to be onboard with it and has even suggested names but he has been far too tired lately, moody and irritable to even BD with and I have felt a bit rejected especially as am in our first 2ww.

    I have been testing too (slaps hands) early but keep getting BFN.

    Am sure it is prob just the pressure of work as it is hard isnt it as when they dont work they dont earn and I know my hubby is worried about how we will afford a baby because we have a few debts to clear from the wedding etc but there is just never gona be a right time to start trying so we just decided to go with the flow.

    I hope you feel a bit better after you talk to your hubby xx
  • Hey,

    my OH gets like this. Some months he just seems to know when the right time is and he makes more effort - thn other months i ask myself whether he knows it;s the right time to BD and deliberately says he's tired or he has work stuff to do (i think i may send myself crazy) - I'm sure he has no idea when is a goo time - bcuz I don't always tell him - and i'm sure he ust wants it when he wants it LOL. I'm positive our OH's want a LO just as much as we do but i think because we know when is a good time - and we want it that bad that we really do read too much in to it. I think if OH knows it's the right time then sometimes it gets a bit too much for him and he feels lik he's udner pressure to 'perform'.

    Hope this helps sweetie

  • Ah girls you have all made me feel so much better. I'm a total drama queen and over think everything but to hear some other hubbys are misbehaving makes me feel normal, so to speak! Thanks again, I'm due af on Christmas eve, boo!!!! Thanks again for taking the time to read n share.

    Hugs xx
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