can you ever be ready for a baby

hi there.

me and my husband had planned to start trying for a baby next january. i am getting the implant out in september this year so i can get my periods back to normal before trying. i am starting to have doubts though about trying soon but i really want a baby so much. we had an experience on a virual baby that acts like i real baby. i loved every moment of it. currently i work 20 hours a week but when i have a baby i will put it down to 16 hours a week. over 2 days so i can spend more time with my baby and hubby. my husband still doesnt have a job he has been looking for a job for 5 years now and keeps on getting rejected i am worried if we wait i will run out of time for getting pregnant. i am 24 and i will be 25 in december my hubby is 22. there is also the fact our rent is really expiense. it

but we get benefits cause we are both disabled so i think we will be ok with the money situition.

please help and give me advice

Posts

  • i don't think you can ever be fully ready until the baby arrives. i really want a baby but i know whenever i do get a bfp i'll crap myself. i know i'll be a good mam but its wierd cos i've always just been an aunty so i can't imagine having a child of my own and being a mam if you know what i mean.
    i couldn't imagine having one of those reality baby things. i don't think i could take it serious as i would just see it as a doll. lol
    your still young so you've to plenty of time, but if you feel your ready now then go for it.
  • thanks for the message. we both feel ready so we will just go with it. i have my parents to support me and his parents so we will be ok
  • my friend said that you are never ready to have a baby...until you have one..then everything fits into place. if it feels right then go for it
  • I agree but surely you have to think some what about your financial situation? If you are struggling to pay rent? You can't always rely on others either, as they may not be able to support you.
    Me and my oh are in our 20's but he has been in a stable job for 7 years and me for 2 years and own our home.
    Don't want to put a downer on you but you def have to think about those aspects, as you prob want the best for your child.

    [Modified by: emily100 on July 12, 2008 06:27 PM]

  • if you feel ready and you really crave a family then you do it, i think alot of people base far too much on material things having the right job owning family home savings in the bank,etc.. and before you know 20 yrs have gone by...we are lucky enough now to have these things but when we had our first 15 rys ago we did struggle a tad, but did every thing we could for our baby, and we built our lifes around our lo, once you have a lo it is if you have always had them there and you cant remember not ever having them!! xx good luck with whatever you choose to do x
  • I don't think anyones 100% ready, its an adventure!
  • it sure is and its never ending!!!! xx
  • i agree chloe. before we were ttc i always said we can't afford a baby when people asked. and i always said i didn't want a baby until i was financially stable. having said that i've got the face the face i may never be rich and i'll always have to work. but my sister said to me who can afford to have a baby, she said if you wait till you can afford one you never will have one. which is so true. for me it is anyway. lol. thats why we decided to just go for it.
  • i think if you keep waiting for the right time it will never come. even now we are ttc no2 and i still have niggles wether we are doing the right thing but my oh keeps saying i would be like that no matter when we decided so we are just going for it. (1st month on 2ww). financially wise we cope we are not rich. but i try my best to budget. i use my child benifit (family allowance) to buy all my nappies and stuff and since chloe was born it seems to covered it. we dont go out to eat as much and we cant spend so much money on ourselves but i feel that is a sacrifice i am willing to make.xxx
  • I don't think you can ever be ready. But would recommend making sure that you aren't going to put yourself into an unworkable situation financially.

    We're young too (24 & 25), and we rent. We don't have a car either! But we're both in stable jobs, we've been married nearly 2 years and love each other very very much. We know it's going to be very tight moneywise, but we've done the maths and know it's do-able....just!!

    If you know its what you want...then go for it!!!

    We realised a long time ago that we were never going to get to the stage where we'd suddenly go 'We can afford a baby!', so always said that once we'd got to a stage where it was just no longer mathematically impossible...we'd go for it!

    And that's what we did about 2 weeks ago! We're now half way through our first cycle.

    So good luck with whatever you decide to do. When it comes down to to the crunch, I think you know whether it's the right thing to do.

    Flowerpot x
  • I totally agree with Chloe that material things don't matter. I am 25 and have 3 children 6,4 and 6 months and am pregnant with no. 4. I DON'T own my own house GASP!! And HORROR my dh doesn't work!!!

    BIG DEAL.

    I work part time and my husband is a stay at home dad- I did used to worry about what other ppl thought about us but you know what- my kids are happy, healthy and cared for and me and my husband are happier than ever.

    We both worked full time for ages and had good jobs and owned our own house (a three bed semi with a garden if you please lol) BUT we weren't happy and as a result neither were our children.

    He left work, I re-arranged my hours simply because I discovered that I could cut my 40 hour week to 20 hours and only be ??40 a month worse off.

    We then decided we wanted another child but knew we couldn't afford to (we needed a bigger car and the mortgage was expensive) so we sold up had a few holidays, treated the kids, bought a new car and paid off all our debts. We don't have much left of our money but guess what I DON'T CARE.

    Our children are so easily pleased and i WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY. mONEY AND MATERIAL THINGS TURN MOST CHILDREN INTO SPOILT BRATS.

    Finaaly to answer your question no nothing prepares you for motherhood- even when I had my 2nd and 3rd kids it was still a shock!! But well and truly worth it- if it is what you both want go fir it
  • thank you KTthom, i agree with you about the spoilt brats thing aswell!! we are trying for our 4th aswell!! xx good luck all x
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