In Laws

I promise this is sort of on topic...

Further to thread on pregnancy do any of you ladies have crazy/difficult/'different' in laws? Are you concerned how these will behave during your pregnancy/when the baby is born.

As I said on the pregnancy thread I am quite worried about this. Mr Pozzee's family have some very 'set' ideas about when we see them and how much time we should spend and woe betide us if we don't. The emotional blackmail just isn't worth it. I am concerned that this will increase/get worse when we have a baby as they'll want to see the baby more.
Additionally, my MIL can be a bit weird in social situations, particularly if her friends are there. I worry about these situations if we were there with the baby.
Anyone else or am I just a nutter??? I think Mafia Princess may join me though...image
xxxx

Posts

  • I'll join you here!!! Only have a MIL as FIL passed away 8 years ago (but MIL still cries every time she sees lo as 'daddy would have loved baby') Yes, her boys are 30 and 28 (dh) and she still calls herself mummy, and their dad is still daddy...sigh. She's mental, her entire family are mental!! Very set in their ways, have very particular views and if anybody challenges them woe betide!!

    I'm not good enough for her son, I'm not as good a mother as her, my house isn't as tidy as her own (she has OCD about cleaning), I buy smartprice and value items rather than brands (she's mega rich) etc etc, and nothing I do is ever good enough. Was worried about how she would be with lo and unfortunately she is worse than I thought. Demanding to see him at a moments notice (literally ringing me up saying she's at the Tesco store two minutes walk away from my house and can she come visit....but its taken her an hour to get to the Tesco store...). Emotional blackmail is attrocious and dh always gives into it, but I've had to put my foot down. Since having lo its the only time me and dh have argued, and always about his mum. He just wants to give in to her but I don't see why I should; its my house and my child (or baby as she calls him...not the baby, not hows lo, but hello baby, how is baby...as though its his name...grrr!) I could rant for hours about her!!

    But no, you aren't alone. Just be strong thats what I say!! Don't let it get worse and worse if they are funny about it; be strong from the start and tell them how its going to be. They have to fit in around your lo's routine etc (when lo arrives!) and if they dont like that they dont have to see lo, end of story!! xxxx
  • Wow Garfield - you have beef!!! I share your pain though - let us hold hands and share the pain of the crazy in laws!!! With their strange values and unexplained/unexplainable ideas and behaviour. The rows Mr Pozzee and I have had over this issue - it's horrendous. Christmas and other holidays are the worst. Sometimes I feel like my family don't exist.
    I also find social events really difficult as I can never tell how my MIL will be with me. Sometimes she lovely, so loving, stroking my hair or she can be really cold and has blanked me outright in the past. It makes me sooooo tense.
    xxxx
  • Forgot to say Littlewolf - you sound like such a tolerant and forgiving DIL!!! I hope you get your BFP soon - babydust to you.
    xxxxx
  • I must admit, I have problems with my in-laws but after reading what some of the ladies have written in pregnancy mine seem pretty laid back. My in laws have never really shown any interest in my previous pregnancies so I have no worries when/if I do become pregnant again.
    The only time we had a problem was when I had my daughter. As I had a section I was in for 2 days. It started when the mil called and found out that my sister was bringing in my son to see me and the baby on the first afternoon that I was on the ward. I think we got something along the lines of "I'm its grandmother, I'm going to see her when I want" That didn't go down too well with my oh. After that she was good though as I got an infection in my womb and was unable to move so she came down for a week to help out.
    So I do think mine aren't too bad compared to others

    xx


  • Oh I have so much beef I could write a book!!! :lol:

    Dh has been away for the last couple of weeks, came back saturday and we argued about her within hours! I wanted the weekend just the three of us, he wanted MIL to come visit as she hadn't seen lo for a week because I'd been away visiting my sick dad...neither had my mum but she hasn't been invited, and we're seeing MIL on saturday (which I've been forced to cancel my birthday lunch for!!!!). I'm selfish apparently. NOT a happy bunny. So he came back sat, we spent sunday with her and he's now staying at hers the next couple of days as he has a cold and isnt feeling very well...charming. Wish I'd never come back from my dads!!

    to those of you who get on well with your inlaws...enjoy it!!!
  • I've had a few minor issues with my in laws but nothing compared to you or other ladies here. I really like them and like seeing them so pretty lucky. The really problems come from MIL's family (her sisters), one in particular. She always has a comment on lo, She's too warm, she's too cold, you put her to bed too late (when lo was 2 months... bed times don't really matter at 2 months). The best part is this woman has no children.
  • I'm joining!

    The difficulty is that my in laws are actually very nice and kind people. The issue is that their life revolves around their children and although they are in their 30's they treat them like they're young children and I've really had to set boundaries.

    For example, when we visit my parents we say don't call us. We see them a few times a year and see in laws every week. Took 4 trips for phone calls to stop. We were on holiday and they call to see what we've had for or tea!

    After trying on wedding dress MIL said at top volume "are you family fertile, our are!" After my ectopic she coudln't understand why I was devestated when she suggested that the cause was the fact that I use my laptop on, shock horror, my lap!

    I can't have a wee or refuse a cup of tea without her thinking i'm pregnant.

    When SIL had baby, everytime he cried she took him from her and said "all you wanted was grandma" And she teaches him to say "hiya babe" when he can't even say his own name!

    Not on my watch! My baby will speak properly and won't leave my side!x x
  • Unfortuantely my latest annoyance at MIL is about my dad. He had an electric shock from the mains when he was 17 and shouldn't have lived through it (touched live bare wires). After months of rehab and several ops he survived and is now almost 55. But his heart is giving out on him as a result of electrical failure which they have said is a result of the massive shock he had as a lad. Basically its weakening so much that if the top blows he'll have a stroke, if the bottom blows he will have a heart attack. It could happen any moment, so we're living on tenderhooks and very worried about him; his first op to correct it failed, his heart is now worse and he's back in hospital 19th April to try again.

    I told MIL this yesterday and when I mentioned the name of the proceedure (which I won't type because I really can't spell it!) she just pulled a face and told me she has to write about them all the time (shes a medical secretary), then changed the subject to a lady in her office who has gained weight!! My dad is seriously ill and because she's written about the proceedure a couple of times she's brushing it off as though its nothing. Has really upset me because he is dangerously ill and has had to come off his medication ready for the operation. I hate being so far away from my dad and am so worried about him...and now I've hijacked this thread to moan about my own problems, so sorry!!!!

    Rant over with!
  • oh can i join in on the in law rants lol :lol:

    now mine are nice people but for them having an only child and only grandson im really pissed at their lack of attention to both

    i remember being in the pub (wasnt drinking lol) at his dad saying to me will you let MIL look after baby at least once in a while she scared she wont see him etc yeah i said until i actually had him and the minute he whimpered she handed him back,even now when they visit,i say visit i mean pop in for 1 hour every 3 months for so but only live 15 mins drive away she doesnt talk to him just sits and stares at him,no wonder he doesnt want to go near here he doesnt know her

    his dad is good with him BUT when he wants he can visit the golf,racing,football & pub every sat but visit their only grandchild oh no even tho they go to asda every sat which is 5 mins drive away!! they dont even phone the house incase Lennons sleeping WTF!!! oh adn they they do phone they dont speak to me just say "is he there Lisa"!!!

    argh they really get my goat lol i have more to moan about but il onyl get myself going again lol
  • Wanna swap inlaws, grudie?!?!
  • now theres a programme in the waiting InLaw swap lol we can all swap then compre notes afterwards :lol:

    what really annoys me if the fact they dont no how much they let their son down and how disappointed he is in them,for his birthday they didnt even phone the sent a card with money saying they didnt come down because his mum broke her arm....yes she did and it was ashame BUT she doesnt drive so it wouldnt be a bother to her ggrrrrrr lol
  • I am about to retire for the evening - but before I go I want to tell everyone esp Garfield there is no such thing as thread hijacking in my book. Say what you want, say how you feel - let it all oooout!
    Seriously, I am so sorry to hear about your father. I hope his op goes well. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
    I need to go now - bathtime!
    Keep those stories coming ladies - makes us realise it's not us - it's them!!!!
    xxxx
  • My in laws are actually ok and I prefer them to my own parents!!! I am lucky that they treat me better than my own mum!!

    Bare in mind I was my mums 1st child and only daughter and have 4 younger brothers!!

    My mum showed little to no interest in my wedding from the minute we told her I was getting married!!!
    When me and oh seperatedfir a year long before wedding she attacked me twice and I had to kick her out my flat as it was I front of my son whowas only 2 at the time!!
    My mum lives 2 mins away and only sees lo on a weds which is only cos she picks him up from school! She never phones, whereas mil phones every other day and we go over prob every other weekend! She lives further away!

    I could go on forever !!

    Sorry to hear about your dad Garfield that's terrible, I really hope he's ok

  • oh G i never seen your other post sorry to hear about your dad everything crossed....well maybe not my legs lol that the op goes very well xxxx

    my step mum had an op last week that didnt go well,shes waiting on results now and has another week to wait :cry:
  • Thanks ladies. Trying to stay positive about it all but hard at the mo, esp with the fighting over MIL!! :roll:

    Grudie I hope your mum is alright and the tests come back with good news. ITs often the waiting thats the worst bit, isn't it? Sending hugs, and no you don't have to keep your legs crossed! :\)

    MJC thats terrible! Can't believe she would do that to you and in front of lo as well!! Whats that saying about you can't pick your family?

    But I'd definately be up for inlaw swapping!! I think it would be hilarious! Although I wouldn't wish mine on anyone! Dh has 2 MILs (dad is remarried) but hardly ever sees them so he's got the better deal out of it! Sigh...why can't life ever be simple? xxx
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