Problems trying for a baby

Hey all, my wife and I have been trying for a child for the past 4 years, we have tried everything and it's never happened although she has suffered 2 miscarriages at very early stages, I went for a test to check my swimmers were swimming right and I got the all clear, I told my wife this the other day and now she's gone mad saying it's all her and she doesn't function right and got all upset and now refuses to go to docs and get herself checked. I told her she will be fine but I'm not so sure, what are the chances she will have problems or that she will be completely fine??


  • Hi, sorry to hear your having problems. None of us can tell you if your wife has fertility problems, she really needs to go to a doctor but I know that can't be easy for her. It could all be down to just bad timing but until you both see a doctor it's impossible to know.
    You don't say what age you and your wife are, but once a woman reaches 35 her fertility starts to decrease and so you may need a little help concieving.
    The only advise I can really give you is to be as supportive as you obviously are being already, make sure she knows it is not her fault but that if you want a child you will need to seek a little help. Give her a little time and make sure she understands you aren't blaming her for anything, you are simply trying to find a way to get the baby you both want x
  • Yeah I'm being supportive coz I understand how important to a woman it is, we are both 24.
  • A high proportion (about 30% I think) is unexplained infertility - the doctors can't find anything wrong. But you can then get fertility treatment even if there is not obvious cause. At least you will get access to help, If you do find out that something is wrong at least treatment can hopefully be targetted. A neighbour and her husband had unexplained infertility and conceived after 4 years naturally while on the waiting list for IVF - the hospital rang up when baby was 8 months to say 'your top of the list' and she had forgotted all about it (I don't know how long the wait is nowadays this was 12 years ago). I have heard that some people seem to fall pregnant naturally very soon after they have sought help - possibly because they feel less stressed about trying. Good luck.
  • Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriages that you've both been through and that your wife feels that she is to blame.
    I agree with what the other ladies on here have said. It is obvious that you are a supportive husband, just by coming on here proves that. Would she consider going to the doc's if you went with her? Explaining to her that it's both of you going through this process and that you want to be there through each and every step, even before getting pregnant, may just reassure her. You've probably already done this though...
    Does she use any sites like this one? The support that everyone gives on here may help her as well.
    Wishing you both all the best for 2010 and hope your baby wish is answered. R x
  • I've offered to go with her yes, she just won't have it, I've tried everything and I'm fresh out of Ideas with her I really am
  • She is scared, just support her and try and talk about it calmly and when she is in a good mood! She needs to be checked because there maybe a problem however that might be easily resolved! Good luck xx
  • Hey, why not direct her to this site. She might feel better knowing that she isnt alone and has people to chat to. x
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