Guilt

gaelic_girl · Mar 12, 2007 5:05PM

$:\$ ?

Can anyone help me or has anyone been in a similar situation to me?? I have suffered a very painful miscarriage (Feb 2005) and am still finding it hard to cope - I feel like people don't want to hear about it anymore and that they think I should get over it. BUT, I also had an abortion last year, because the circumstances were all wrong. I knew it was for the best - but now I am wracked with guilt - and am having REAL problems wanting a baby so bad - I just wanted to know if anyone else has been through anything similar, as its driving me up the wall...I am single, but really want a baby...I know people probably think I shouldn't be complaining because of the AB but I do genuinely feel like my hearts been ripped out...x

anitarose · Mar 12, 2007 8:27AM

gaelic girl you are not complaining you are going through a bad time i had a m/c in january and i still feel bad it takes time to start feeling better dont blame yourself it has nothing to do with your ab everyone who has a m/c has feeling of guilt maybe we should have done this maybe if we didnt do that it is unfortunately the natural process im sorry youre feeling so bad right now but it is good that you have came here to talk about it there are lots of forums here that i talk to people on come on them you will find many friends here who you can talk to please dont blame yourself as for friends not wanting to know i feel the same its like you have had it get over it but it just dont work that way so unless any of your friends have gone through the same or similar experience they just dont know i hope you feel a bit better soon feel free to come on the sites have a gab or a moan there is always someone here to talk to x x x

swede · Mar 12, 2007 9:25AM

gaelic girl,
I have also a m/c and it is hard but I have moved on and I am trying to comcentrate on getting pregnant again.
AB are not always bad.My friend had 2 daughters and was just splitting up with their dad when she fell pregnant again..She decided to have an AB as it would not be fair on the baby and her other girls. Sometimes you have got to do what is best for you. Unless people are in the same situation is hard for them to know what they wouild do.
M/C happens for so many different reasons and it does not have to have anything to do with your AB.
Please feel free to come on here to talk, that is what this forum is for and people have been through simular experiences.
I wish you all the best of luck and hope you fall preg again soon.
Please try not to blame youself and try and stay positive.
Anna

lilypingu · Mar 12, 2007 5:05PM

I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad, please don't blame yourself for what has happened. M/c can happen to anybody, regardless of what has happened in their life before hand. I too had a m/c back in September and have struggled to get some closure. I saw a councillor in January to help me come to terms with the m/c but also my desperation to have a baby. All I can say is that it hurts, but I' ve come to realise that I am beginning to hold myself back constantly focusing on ttc again. Its totally natural for you to feel the way you do and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Don't deny yourself the feelings your having. I wish you all the very best and talk, talk, talk and cry, cry, cry if you need to- we're all here for you

Guilt

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