No birthday pressie for me. :cry:

So much for being a good girl and not buying a test - would have been a waste of money anyway as AF arrived last night while i was working. Its bad enough she arrived, but she caught me unawares 4 days early as well, while I was training a new guy!

I'm so fed up and down about it. we had done everything right this month, even down to not drinking much at all (maybe one pint one day, two a diff day at most - even when we were out for marks birthday i only had 1 glass of wine) and still a big fat F off from mother nature.

I dont even know if were gonna bother trying next month as I'm not sure i can take another BFN/af.
I feel partly selfish becaus i know lots of ladies on this site have been trying longer and been through worse than me, but also partly jealous because i keep seeing BFPs and thinking that should be me.

I dont even know what my body is doing now because af arrived on CD30 of what i thought (going by the last two months after my mc) was a 34 day cycle. So is my body returning to its original 28 day cycle or going on a completely different one again? How the hell am I supposed to start trying when i dont even know how long my cycle is and roughly when i'm going to ov if i do at all?

We done the having sex as often as possible (much to hubbys enjoyment) and the restricting it to 3 times a week like different stupid docs have suggested, I used the ov tests on a couple of months and i ov then.

I just dont know what else there is we can do.

I'm sat here in tears because i so deserately want another baby. I'm sorry ladies.

I think i'm gonna have to stay away for a while because as happy as i am for all you BFPs i just cant face seeing another one at the moment.


I hope everyone else gets what they want soon.

Good luck and baby dust to everyone.

Stephe
xxxx

Posts

  • oh so sorry to hear that hun. the month i wanted to give up after i mc though waas the one i fell pg. keep bding when you want and just try and keep yourself busy, who knows this worked with my 1st LO. Good luck hun and when you come back hope for some good news. Take care and chin up
    Filo x
  • aaaw Stephe, so sorry to hear your AF arrived.
    I'm sure we can all understand how you feel about seeing the other BFPs on here... its a natural feeling.
    I know its hard, but try and keep up the PMA - it will happen for you when its right and when its meant to.
    Joo xxx
  • oh i'm sorry to hear she arrived hun.

    i hope that you find some PMA (mine usually disappears CD1) over the next few days and that you come back with some good news.

    big hugs hun xxx
  • So sorry to hear you are feeling sad, Stephe. I completely understand that you want some time off this site. However wonderful it is to have all these lovely ladies providing advice and giggles, it can get a bit much sometimes and it is hard when others get their BFPs and we ALL want it so much.

    Maybe you should just take some time out for a while. Don't stop ttc but maybe stop coming on here and worrying and constantly thinking about ttc. Just bd as you have been doing and keep yourself busy with other things. Go on holiday or anything to take your mind off things.

    I know it's hard and I hope you get your BFP soon and that, if you do decide you need some time away from this site, that you come back and tell us when you do get your BFP!!

    Good luck honey.

    xxxx
  • hi stephe, i completly understand how you feel, my af arrived on day 38 this month and the same day she arrived someone at work told me she was nine weeks pregnant. I just wanted to completly give up, it's been three months since my first mc and six weeks since my second and i am so desperate to be pregnant (and if one more person says well at least you know you can get pregnant i'll slap them). I don't know what i'll do if i'm not pregnant by september which was my due date. I've given up alcohol, take more supliments then you can shake a stick at and i'm also at a loss for what i can do, but i feel more positive now, and i know it will happen eventually. If you need take a break from here and try and forget about ttc, and just concentrate on yourself, you WILL get your bfp. xx
  • AWWWWW im so sorry she got you hun. Im waiting for her to arrive at my door any day. Fingers crossed she wont find me.
    Keep your chin up and start planning the BD'ing for next month.
    xxx
  • honey sorry to hear she got you!!!
    but on a positive note maybe your cycles are getting back to normal which could mean your on the right road for BFP!!!

    if you need a break from here then you should do it, just know that we're hear if you ever need to shout scream or just talk!!!

    take care!!!
    xx
  • Stephe, (((big hugs))) hun. I think we can all relate to you feeling happy for the bfp's, but bitter that its not your turn. Its natural to feel like that, so dont beat yourself up about it. no one will hold it against you hun!

    Im really sorry af found you. Maybe a break from here is just what you need. Take some time-out and relax, dont chart or look for signs, just have fun with your hubby and enjoy some relaxed bd'g.

    Take care hun, hope to see you around soon with good news. xx
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