Husbands...can't live with 'em can't legally kill them!!!

I am so furious with him its really got my blood boiling!!!!!

Its completely over something stupid but always comes down to the fact that he owns EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! The house, the cars- all in his name!!! The bills all in his name!!!!! Now don't get me wrong i don't sponge of him i pay half but it always comes back to the fact he basically owns everything!!!!

I wanted to lend my sister our moses basket for their baby which is due in october now he's known about this since february and never said a thing even when i asked him to get it out never mentioned a problem even said "u'll have to wash the covers before u lend it to her cause its been in the loft" then all of a sudden its a problem and he's not happy lending it incase they ruin it (hardly likely?!) because its the 1st thing HE bought our baby!!!!! Now again don't get me wrong that is sweet that he see the sentimental value in it....but to be honest its bolloxs!!! He even had the nerve to say again that HE bought it and was HIS decision who could borrow it!!!!!!

I hate the way it always comes back to the fact that he supported me at one time because WE fell pregnant and i was at uni!!! Well i'm sorry but i've given up a lot for him and none of thats ever taken into account the fact that i turned down the better choice uni to be with him, took a break and basically put my career on hold so i could have OUR baby!!!! AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! Or the fact that i have pratically worked the entire time we've been together other than the yr i had to look after LO and when ever i have money its always spent on things for US as family!!!!!! Things I buy for the house i consider OURS never MINE!!!!!!!

Sorry for the rambled vent but if i didn't i'd probably stab the little F*@ker!!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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  • OMG lilac! Slap him! HARD!!!

    You are a partnership, and as you say he should take into consideration all that you have sacrificed too!

    My oh is very similar, so I know what its like! At the moment he works full time, and I have just started pt. But the way he goes on about how its HIS money, and how hard HE works..... it makes me FURIOUS and causes lots of rows! He is always putting pressure on me to increase my hours too, but still expects me to be there for the kids, do the housework, cook etc etc.....

    he also thinks its his right to make any decisions concerning the house and any alterations which need doing! And he is the same as your hubby in that if he bought something (for the house, the kids, me...) then its secretly always HIS!!!! :x

    It must be a man thing hun, but its bloody dam annoying!!!!! :evil: xx


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  • God i thought i was all alone then!

    I am so angry its unbelievable i could scream i really could! I actually got so angry i threw my wedding and engagement ring at him and said u should keep hold of them then cause u bought them! i know its childish but wtf!!!!!

    What made me smile this morning thou was i walked into the yard where i work and theres a building firm next to us and they asked where my rings were and if something had happened they would happily be a shoulder to cry on!!!!

    Men who needs them......

    *lilac walks off to find a turkey baster...sod it i'll do it on my own*
  • ah yes - the his and her argument image

    I got so fed up of ours, that i went and bought new windows..... so the house might be his but the windows are mine :lol: image

    Maybe sit him down and tell him that its all shared and how he makes you feel when he says stuff like that, or as suggested, just slap him. Wet kippers are good for that i believe ;\)

    xxxxx
  • I think it's a man thing, my husband seems to think I don't work at work, secretly in his mind he must think i'm at home doing nothing all day, when in fact I do work a 9-5 job. It's funny isn't it. However all bills are in both our names with half being paid from his account and half from my account. I think it works better that way. Arguments over possesions and finances can cause such a rift!
  • Who's MrL?

    The thing is i work bloody hard too in fact i work a lot more than he does!! but thats never mentioned is it!

    Its never mentioned either that all these things he apparently owns i pay half 4!!!! Morgage i pay half, car i pay half with out my flamin half he couldn't have these things!!!!

    He knows i hate it when he says things like this but says i make a drama out of it and and to grow up; apparently 7 yrs makes u the maturer one!

    xx
  • LOL @ Stephe's windows! Nice one!! :lol:

    Maybe throwing your rings will get thru to him, after all, you have made a good point there! He bought the rings, but as a token of his commitment to you and your partnership!!!

    Maybe the moses basket thing has just been misunderstood? As he bought it for your lo, maybe he just wants to keep it there ready for your next one. Especially after your mc, it may just be very significant to him and he just doesnt like the thought of someone else's baby using it? I know it seems unreasonable, as it would be back in plenty of time for your next one, and your sis would obviously look after it. Maybe he is using that as an excuse 'cos he cant find the words to explain?

    Men are strange, and look at things in a very different way to us! xxx

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  • oh i get the moses thing i see that he's looking at the sentimental value of it and it should be for our babies- but if it was such a big problem why not mention it b4 last night when he's know about it since FEBRUARY and its been okay????!!!!!!
  • Yes he should have mentioned it sooner, and should come up with a better reason than 'she might ruin it'!

    Sit him down and tell him you are sick of everything being in his name even tho you pay half, and that you want your name on them too! Especially the mortgage! Was it his house first? cos even if it was, then now that you are married and sharing the bills, your name should be on there! Its not fair that he is making you feel like a sponger when you work just as hard and pay half of everything.


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  • The house was his orginally and i moved in, and when we had to remorgage a few years ago i wasn't contributing so he wouldn't add me. When i bought it up a little while ago he got really arsey about it saying why does it matter if i'm on it or not?!

    And the bill things he just think its hassle and to be honest the bill are always paid out of a house account which we both pay into- but agin thats in his name!
    xxx
  • WTF? does he actually see you as his wife or just a lodger??? :x

    (sorry to be blunt and dont mean any offence,but I would be bloody furious too!!!!)

    The account should be in both your names as you BOTH contribute, and if he is getting arsey about 'what does it matter' if your name is on the mort. or not, then why is he bitching if you get arsey 'cos its not? Its the same thing!! I think you need to have a very serious chat with him. Try and keep calm so he cant accuse you of being a drama queen, but things need to be said!

    (((big hugs lilac))), im not surprised you are so pi$$ed off with him!!!


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  • No your right we're menat o be sharing our lives together but apparently not when it comes to money!!

    Don't get me wrong i love the little sh*t to death and its not often it comes up but when it does its horrible he makes me feel like i trapped him and by keeping things seperate it allows him have control over what he sees as his things b4 we met.
    xxxxx
  • Stop paying then lilac. If it's his house and his bills let him pay and then see how much they're his!

    I'd be fuming!! Never has my hubby said anything like that to me, even when I wasn't working and he paid for everything including giving me spending money!! If he ever said they were "his" shoes I'd tell him to wear them!!!

    I am SO cross on your behalf!!
  • lol @ making hubby wear shoes!

    he never mentioned it when i was actually off work having our baby just since. I'm still so mad myself if it wasn't 4 ellie i wouldn't go home tonight. x
  • I'm with gypsy on this one. I would go absolutely ballistic if I were you lilac. It's not just the principle of the matter but it's also quite serious if anything were to happen to you or him, worst case scenario. Sorry to pu t my financial adviser hat on but if he were to die, who'd get the house? What about the other way round, how would he pay the bills without the life insurance on the mortgage for you? Sorry this is very dull but it's those sort of things that need to be considered here too. Not just, what's mine is mine etc.

    I'm not in this position because DH and I bought the house together and we split everything 50/50. Although I pay off his debts with my bonuses and I could get aggrieved with that although since I married him, I consider them 'our' debts now!!

    It's a mans way of trying to control you and you should never be controlled. You should be with someone (and I know that you are) because you want to. I think you need a proper serious chat about this. I know it's hard but it has to be done if it's making you feel like this.

    Let him say that you're being arsey or 'what does it matter' and tell him that it matters cos he is making you feel miserable. What would his response be to that??

    Good luck poppet, you will get this sorted but I can completely understand why you are fuming.

    xxxx
  • He'd be covered if anything happened cause we have a life insurance policy on me as well, and we do have a will that states each other would be left any assets should the other die. This doesn't bother me and he will add me next time we renew the morgage etc next yr but its just his attitude that bugs me. I've suggested b4 we get some kind of contract until the house is in both names but he gets really defensive and acts as thou i don't trust him!

    God i really am painting an awful picture of him and that really isn't the case he's a fantastic hubby and i know in general he considers everything as ours but sometimes the way he talks about things and how he supported me that i OWE him some great debt!

    I will talk to him about it.....when we're talking again that is.
    xxxx
  • Oh hun, what can i say that the others havent....u have every right to b pissed off, i cant believe he would act like that. Im here when u need me u know that...i really hope u sort things out...and like mrsH has said he needs to look at the bigger picture, god forbid anything did happen to him, u and msmai need security!!! God damn it, if i knew things where that bad last night i wouldve scrapped the vino and hit him on the head with the bloody bottle lol!!!!! xxxxxxxxxx
  • Lol @ hitting hubby!! The rings thrown at his face did a fairly good job!!! Thou roke the cardianl rule NEVER give ur rings back!!! tut tut me!!

    I know we'll sort this out because we've argued over this before its just this time it blew up cause it involved letting my sister down. he just does my nut sometimes!!!
    xxxxx
  • Im glad u managed to bring pain somehow!!! I know what u mean, u can get protective when it comes to family...and now i bet your left to explain why she cant have it...im guessing he wont tell her himself!! I really dont see the harm, sentimental or not...shes got going to sledge down a hill on it now is she...im sure shed treat it with alot of respect as it isnt hers....altho i bet u know all that, its some else who needs to open his ears!!! Good luck chick im thinking youl need it tonight, if u havent calmed down image xxxxxxx
  • oh i told her....i told her he's a selfish [email protected] and doesn't like to share his toys but if she wanted it she could have it anyway!

    hopefully i will have calmed down but it would be in his interest to at lest send me a text apoligising today otherwise it will continue to be stale mate!!!
    xxx
  • Lol, good on you!! And i suggest if he continues to be a arse, poke him in the eyes, grab his wallet and run...go into town and splurge....see how he likes that!!! xx
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