horrible dr's, why are they so mean :(

Hey all,

Well I've just got back from dr's and I'm not a happy bunny .

apologies in advance this is going to be a mammoth post!

a bit of background:
I came off pill start of Jan, still no AF (cd88 today). I visited the dr's a month ago and he ran some blood tests which he said were all normal and that really I should wait until 3 months had passed before starting to worry. So 3 months is up, I'm getting really fed up, my opk tests which I started using about a week ago show I'm still not ovulating.

So I made an appt for today:

My normal doctor was away so I saw someone different. I told him about my concerns about pcos and that it has been over 3 months since AF.
He looked back at my test results from a month ago and said there was nothing that indicated pcos (which made me feel a little better) but said there could be something wrong which would require an ultrasound scan. But he said as that may cause me more worry if something showed up he was unprepared to send me for one until it has been 12 months since AF???? The only concern from tests was that the LH hormone, FSH and another one (can't remember which) were all quite low (despite the other dr saying they were normal??). He said these would just take time to rise (after 3 months how much longer??). And also if my LH is low why do I get quite dark lines on the opk's every single day when I've been using them?

He then proceeded to tell me that most people wouldn't even bother doctors until at least 6 months with no AF and that I should be pleased I'm not having periods (he knows I'm ttc) and that most normal people would be quite happy about it and that most people come off the pill and are happy to take their time and look forward to not having regular periods so why should I be getting bothered by it? He then said it was normal not to ovulate every month (as this is what tribal people do or something??) and there was nothing wrong with me and basically I should get a grip.

Then he said that the normal time is 12 months before referring to fertility clinic (I don't even want this, i just want something to make me have a period!) and that I was in very early days and was basically wasting his time.

He told me that if I was worrying about it it would take even longer to ovulate and that i should just 'chill out' and enjoy the summer and not even think about ttc and that they won't see me again unless af doesn't show up in another 4 months (that'll be 7 months then)

I got weighed again (last time my bmi was technically underweight but not by much) and have managed to put on 1 pound since last month and so then he had a go saying that the last time I went dr had said to put on weight so if I was that concerned about it why hadn't I put much on (this is despite me not exercising for the past 3 weeks and eating lots of horrible fatty food, I've tried my best to put on weight!) but then he said he didn't think weight was an issue (so why mention it then????).

He could see I was getting upset and asked why I was letting it bother me and that i wasn't helping myself by getting upset over it. When I said I just feel like my body isn't working he rambled on and on about how clearly my body was working, that I was over reacting and what a stupid thing to say (that my body wasn't working)

I'm sat at home in tears because I feel so frustrated and no-one is able to help me and I know there are a million people worse off than me and I feel a bit pathetic crying about it but I just feel stuck in some horrible limbo that I can't even see a way out of and the dr made me feel so pathetic for worrying about it. I just don't know where to go from here.

Thanks for letting me moan



  • I'm only halfway thru your post and already i'm thinking ' what an arse!!!!'
    Ok so now i think you should defo report this arse to someone!!! thats crazy!!!! he has no right to say those things to you and you have every right to be concerned!!
    I'm so sorry you had to go thru this! Maybe wait for your normal dr and have a word with him! so sorry my dear!

  • sorry to hear you are feeling so down, sending big (((hugs)))). I don't mean to sound sexist but was this a male doctor? Men don't get how hormonal and how bad a longing for a baby can be for a woman, or how much it takes over your everyday thoughts. I would try getting another appointment with a female doctor, and explain the situation. Let us know how you get on. Sorry I can't be of anymore help xx
  • awwwww hun, im so sorry u saw a meany doc! waht a prick! defo report him! and see the same doc u did b4, as u said he was nice! hun hope your ok, i find some docs so patronising, on the plus side, sounds like pcos is out of the question xxxxxx
  • Thanks for support ladies, Mrsfancyshoes, yes it was a male doctor (suprise suprise!). We only have one female doctor at the surgery and I'm always reluctant to see her as I teach her son (in Y11) and although I know they can't say anything etc etc, I'd just find it too weird at the next parent's eve if that makes sense??
  • Awww hun, I am also annoyed by his attitude, sorry am assuming a man!

    What an idiot and a very unsympathetic and uncaring one at that.

    Sorry you have been treated that way hun, sending you hugs xxx
  • Hi just thought Id let you know my experience. When I first came off the pill before my first son i also didnt get a period. I eventually went to the doctors after about 3 months and didnt get much response at all either but was just told to take a pregnancy test every month. I was terrified that my body wasnt ovulating. I used to mess around abit with the pill, taking it through my 'period' days so I could avoid getting periods and stuff like that and I really thought I had messed up my body. However I did just keep BD and taking tests and the second time I took the PG test I got my BFP!! So hopefully you may be experiencing the same thing I did and your body is just readjusting itself after being used to the pill . I really understand how frustrating and upsetting it can be though and I hope you get your BFP soon

  • *tuts* men just dont get it!
  • Thanks Jacqui, so how long after pill did you get your BFP?

    The worst thing about all this is when I first came off pill I had a few positives on preg tests that I was very unlucky enough to have had 3 or 4 faulty tests as I wasn't/am not preg so I've been on such a rollercoaster of emotions and I've just had enough now and just want my damn body to start doing what it's suppose to!!

  • I just remembered something else he said that the pill would be out of my system by now (apparantly that only takes up to 6 or 8 weeks) and so it is my body not producing enough of the hormones rather than any lasting effects of the pill and that the pill was masking prolems I would have had anyway which is why I don't understand why he wouldn't help or do any further tests or give me something to help bring on ov/AF??
  • It took around 6 months from first coming off pill. I think that you should go back to the doctors and definately see someone else perhaps when your normal doctor is back and try to explain to them your worries. I am sure they could be more help. It seems that these days doctors are always too busy to be that bothered and would rather just send people away and move on to the next person. They dont get how upsetting it is!!


  • (((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))) what a K**b excuse my french. i think all u can do now is try the herbal remedies u are getting for a bit and then if i were u i would go back again, they must be able to tell u something else xxx
  • Hi hun,

    Sorry to hear you've had a bad experience at the quacks. I'd personally wait and see your doc when he gets back. That's a very horrible experience and yes perhaps think about writing this up in a letter for the surgery.
    Hope you're staring to feel better after talking on here, big hugs xxx
  • My sister who was never ttc, took 6 months to have a period after coming off the pill. I would personally say three months isn't long enough to worry yet. I know it's flustrating. The doc sounds like a cock, and should be more sympathic. Blood tests are looked at in a lab and if the levels were incorrect to the point it could effect you the hospital ask you to atten for more tests. It's true some women don't ovulate every month, if you are really worried, why don't you go private? Try taking some agnus cactus, I head alot of people have had af after taking that.

    Unfortantly gps will not be interested in your ttc probs until it's been a year or you've had three mc. Xxx
  • Just wanted to add, there has been some ppl on here a while ago who fell pg without having a withdrawal bleed!!!
    Take some b6 and b12 vits too! image xxx
    hope you get your bfp!!!
  • thanks guys, It's just so frustrating, I've orderd some dong quai and some raspberry leaf so hopefully that will speed things along.

    I keep remembering things he said, it's funny how you don't take it all in at the time. He said even if I do have pcos there's not much they can do so little point testing for it as it would worry me more and there would be nothing they could do.

    gahh i hate this ttc lark!
  • Sorry you had a crap time at the drs, and hope something happens soon to make you feel better whether it be AF of BFP, I'm sure you'd be equally happy to see either at the moment.
    Just a quick thought? Is yr 11 GCSE year in your area? If so would you feel more comfortable seeing the lady dr once her son goes on study leave, it's only a few more weeks isn't it? Just thinking that ok, its about 6 weeks to wait but thats better than having to wait 4 months and then seeing the same p*!*K dr again?
    And I would definately be phoning and asking to speak to the practise manager to take it further, I'm sorry but his conduct wasn't very professional, a dr is meant to give us reassurance not make us feel horrible about ourselves!
  • Hey mustbemad, yes they will be on study leave in May so that's a good idea, I hadn't even thought of that (too busy stressing about everything else I suppose!!)

    I think I might write a letter to practice manager just setting out how he made me feel. (I don't think I've ever left a dr's surgery in tears before!)
  • Glad its given you an idea, just hope you don't need to make the appointment and that af or bfp will have turned up by then. x
  • The doctor sounds like an unsympathetic [email protected]!

    I think baby-princess already mentioned it above, but as it is clearly causing you a lot of worry, have you considered paying for private tests? I think there was a thread about this on here pretty recently that gave an idea of costs etc. (sorry, can't remember who posted it but I am pretty sure it was within the last week or so). It didn't seem all that expensive for the initial investigations based on what I remember from the thread.

    I know that sometimes people do take a while to get back to 'normal' and all is probably fine, but this is so clearly causing you a lot of stress that it may be worth considering just for the peace of mind?
  • Hi Tilty, I did have a quick look on bupa site and they charge ??61 for 15 mins with a GP, not sure about any other tests. I'll have a scroll through now for that thread - thanks for the heads up

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