Sorry girls - little update

I'm afraid that I won't be on here for a bit. Mr P sat down with me last night and said he just wasn't ready to TTC yet. I am absolutely fine with that - I'm in no hurry and want us both to be ready and not pressured.
I know him though, when he does make up his mind he'll be like 'where's the baby'. And there'll be no warning, it could be tomorrow or in a year.
I don't want to clutter up the forum with all my unnecessary chat so I think it's probably best I don't come on here for awhile. I can lurk a bit though.
While I am happy with our discussion I am a bit disappointed in him tbh. I feel a little messed around by him. Am sure I'll get over it. The main thing is that we both need to be ready for it.
So good luck girls, I really hope you all get your BFP soon.
See you soon (I hope),
Pozzee x x x x

[Modified by: Pozzee_Pod on 28 March 2010 09:43:31 ]

Posts

  • awwwww pozzeepod how sad image hope your ok, and hope we will all be hearing from u again soon? i quite enjoy ur friday O/T stories lol. i will look out for u! hope u will be back soon hun! (((hugs))) xxxxxx
  • AH PP that's a shame. I hope you're OK about it all and like you say he may just turn round next month and expect it to happen ASAP. Men have a funny way of doing things don't they. Maybe he just needs some time out. Be sure to keep chatting with him and don't let anything fester up inside. You've also got plenty of time to get your body in tip top shape. Maybe you could look at The Baby Making Bible and do the 3 month plan on that? Would make you feel like you're still working towards the goal xxxx
  • AH PP that's a shame. I hope you're OK about it all and like you say he may just turn round next month and expect it to happen ASAP. Men have a funny way of doing things don't they. Maybe he just needs some time out. Be sure to keep chatting with him and don't let anything fester up inside. You've also got plenty of time to get your body in tip top shape. Maybe you could look at The Baby Making Bible and do the 3 month plan on that? Would make you feel like you're still working towards the goal xxxx
  • Yeah its a shame hun but like you say its better to both want a baby now. In any case you never know what might happen when youre not actively ttc (unless youre going back on contraception?).

    |Hopefully see you soon though xx
  • I don't think we've ever spoken before but I'm sorry to hear your news. I am imagining how I would feel in your shoes and I am sure I would really feel quite down so I do hope you are ok. You sound like you are handling it all very calmly (admirably so!) and you are right in that you do both have to be ready... it must still be upsetting though. I hope Mr. P is really and truly ready again before too long and you get a BFP very soon once you do start trying again. xxx
  • Hey pozzee, I think you're being very calm about it. I'm not presuming you're feeling so calm in real life.

    Can always post on here, doesn't matter whether you're activily ttc or not x x
  • Aww hon thats not the greatest news, but at least he's not wanting to stop altogether. I can understand that its disheartening for you but he's right; if he's not ready at the minute then it would be sensible to wait.

    Perhaps suggest not actively trying and just not taking precautions either? Either way good luck for when you decide to TTC again!
    Stick around if you can! xxx
  • aw chick sorry to hear your news,atleast its not a stop forever,maybe not what you want to hear right now tho xx

    your welcome here anytime like MP said xx
  • sorry to hear you'll not be around - hopefully you'll be bsck soon

    Take care x x
  • Thank you ladies - I appreciate all the support.

    As I have said I have no problem with the waiting. There's plenty going on at the moment and we're young so I am fine with putting it off for a bit. Also this is such a massive life change for us (for anybody) I want both us for be 100% ready and totally on board. Having a baby can put such a strain on the relationship there's no way I want to add anything else.

    I will admit I am very upset as I feel really mucked around, I think he should have never have said we could go ahead if he wasn't sure about it. I have got myself geared up emotionally, physically, mentally etc and I feel like I have been utterly deflated. I have felt incedibly low - yesterday was very bad but I do feel ok today. Just very sad about the whole situation. I am not angry, just hurt and disappointed.

    We still have some bits and pieces to sort out. I think the bottom line is that he has a very funny idea about TTC. He is quite happy not to use contraception, or use it very sprodically, but doesn't want to actually say 'We are trying for a baby'. AND if I got pregnant tomorrow he would be very happy, he has said. Which is just semantic really. And rather ridiculous. I have said that a) this attitude is not fair on my or any future baby (if we're going to do it, we are going to do it properly i.e. take the right vitamins, be healthy, drink less) and b) is very unhelpful/unrealistic. So I have said until he feels 100% ready, it's contraception everytime, I won't be taking any vitamins or anything else (I will be taking BeckyWoo's advice and keeping on my healthy life plan) and I will be persuing career options. If he suddenly decides NOW is the time then he's just going to have to wait, unless I feel ready. I could have carried on doing his version of TTC but that is not what I want. I don't want to be in a half-way world, that's not how I want to have a baby. I have said all this to him and left him to think about it.

    Ironically, someone offered me a job on Friday - a massive step up, big development etc. I am going to persue it, even if nothing happens I am not putting my life on hold while he minces about.

    Sorry - that has turned into a massive post. I wanted to say thank you but I do feel better for getting some of it down in black and white. I am off for a run with my friend now - a few laps of the park, sadly it's not sunny though.

    I will pop on here from time to time and do a few O/T funny threads. But I hope that when I come back none of you are on here - because you will all have your BFPs by then!!!!!

    Good luck everyone, I hope that it's a happy and healthy pregnancy asap for you all.

    Pozzee xxxx
  • hi pozzee sorry to hear that but you seem to know what you want from ttc so thats good and when the times right it will mean so much more to you both.

    could you not already be preg? or have you had af?

    good luck in the job and speak soon xxx
  • Oh pozze, I can well imagine how you feel. I think you do have the righ to feel angry as well.

    Do you think Mr P is trying to play it down to take a bit of pressure off of himself or am I completely wrong? I know that at times my hubby has felt a pressure to perform. Maybe this is his way of trying to relieve it?

    I do agree that it's not helpful at all and for me I would want, as far as possible, any pregnancy to be a conscious decision rather than a surprise.

    Good luck with the job and please keep us updated or just come on if you feel low and get it out of your system.

    Hugs x x x
  • I think you should definately pop on from time to time with london underground stories! Theyre great xx
  • jay78 lol, they are! keep me entertained anyways lol, good for u PP for saying your peice! he does seem to have strange views about it? men ey! good luck with the job hun! (((hugs))) xxxxxx
  • For what it's worth PP I think you are 100% right and I have utmost respect for your attitude and conviction, this has to be right for both of you. I'm sure he just needs a little time to get his head round things and he'll be back on board in no time and then you'll be in tip top shape and ready to go again.

    Please please do pop back and I wish you the best of luck with everything xxx
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