I've had the most horrendous few days........(soz - v. long)

Hi girls,

Sorry this is not really ttc related but feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest. It's easy to say it on here too because it doesn't seem to affect 'real life' if you know what I mean.

I was at work on Saturday and had a call from my mum to say my Grandma was very sick and wasn't expected to make the end of the day. I dashed home from work (an hour) and then jumped in the car and drove the 125 miles to where my mum and Grandma live. I was lucky, I made it in time. She was in a really bad way and it was horrible to see her like that and really horrible for my mum too. I spent a few hours with her and then went back to my mum's. The next day dh and I went to church with my Mother and Father in Law (they'd travelled 100 miles too so was really kind of bad timing). It had been arranged weeks before because the church was having a special service for people married there in the last two years. Went back to see my Grandma after church and said my goodbyes before we drove home.

DH was brilliant all weekend and I couldn't stop thanking him for being there with me.

Anyway, this is where it all changes.........went to my local pub on Sunday afternoon as was feeling pretty delicate re the Grandma situation. It was a lovely day and lots of our friends were there. We live in a very small village, with only one pub and the community spirit is great. After a number of drinks, a friend of mine told me that my DH had kissed another of my friends!!!!!! Almost fell of my stool. I completely believed her because of what was said. Anyway, said nothing other that walked past said 'other friend' and when she said 'Are you OK' just replied 'No - don't ever speak to me again'. Took DH home and ripped his head off.

DH is not entirely to blame and certainly not blameless but I do blame her most. I know the night in question and DH had gone into town with a group of friends, including said friend (and I've NEVER had a problem with DH going out with mutual female friends if I don't feel like it). He was absolutely pissed as a parrot when he got home and I know she was sober. She's very attractive and very flirty so I can understand why someone might make a stupid fool of themselves while drunk. Not that I condone it. Since then she's apparently been clicking her fingers and saying that if she wants my DH then he's hers!! Now, that really riled me.

Went back to the pub the same day, admittedly a little tipsy (!!!) and told her exactly what I thought of her and that she wasn't to mess with me or my marriage because she would lose. DH got a telling off and he's very sorry, and I completely believe him, and he is now under curfew (which he totally accepts).

Anyway, feel very hurt but realise that a drunken kiss is not the end of the World - we've been together 7 and a half years and nothing like this has happened before. We will move on from this and get stronger. Couldn't face work on Monday morning so rang in sick and then got a phonecall from my Mum at 8.30am to say Grandma had died on Sunday night. Just to stick the boot in.

To top it all, after feeling lousy, a fool, hurt by DH and friend and sad over Grandma, bloody AF turned up three days early yesterday.

I just want to crawl into a hole a sleep for weeks. But I WILL NOT let this woman affect my marriage. She's a little slapper and a complete snake; pretending to be my friend whilst all along she has been literally prowling and pursuing my husband. I hope she has a very lonely and unhappy life from now on. Have told DH that he will have to deal with the gossip but that I expect to still go to our local and for him to stand shoulder to shoulder with me.

Sorry to rant and moan but just needed to tell someone. Very difficult to talk about this sort of thing with people who actually know you because that can then add more fuel to the fire.

Thanks for listening girls and I do hope that you all had a better weekend.

xxxxxxxxx

Posts

  • Oh, hun, don't really no what to say but didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry you've had such a horrible time. Sending you a big hug. Hope it helps. xx
  • OMG i am so sorry this has all happened to you. I am in shocked really as to what yoru hubby and so call friend has done, I hate cheating in way shape or form. I always use to say I would never take a man back if that happened to me but i am married now and like you I think i would work on it. i mean in 7 years if this is the first time he has ever done anything and he was drunk off his face even though i am not saying this makes it ok I would work at it too.

    As for this girl I would of knocked her out. What have all your other friends said about this?

    I am so sorry to hear about your nan, she is at peace now and no longer in pain. I also lost a very colse family friend on Sat just gone and I have tried not to talk about it as it;s so upsetting but you will get through this. you sound like a very strong person and we are all hear for you to talk to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Sorry to hear about your awful weekend. I totaly understand your feelings about what happened with that slag and your husband. Of course he's not to blame but it sounds like a one-off so stay focussed on that. So sad to hear about your grandmother and then having AF turn up as well! These things come in threes, so you've had your bad luck, sounds like you're due some good luck now!
    Try to stay calm and take some time for yourself. You definitely deserve it.
    *big hugs*
  • Awwww mrs hopeful, im so sorry to hear about your grandma and the event with your friend and oh!! Youve really been through it, havent you? I just posted on how down i feel but compared to the week youve had ive got nothing to moan about. Im sure you and your oh will be fine and it will probably make you stronger as a couple, as for your af showing up it was probably for the best this month as your in a fragile state at the moment and because of everything thats happened you wouldnt have been able to enjoy the special moment if you had got your bfp. I hope you are ok, take some time out and relax and next month will be your month! Good luck hun. xx
  • I would also say that I have heard many stories of men acting out of character when TTC. They do weird things, though that doesn't excuse them!
  • Thanks girls, everyone is so lovely on here. I feel good to have had a proper moan about it and thanks for your responses. I certainly don't think DH is blameless and this has never happened to me before (either with him or people before) so it is all alien to me. If he had done me he would definitely be out of the door by now. I have forgiven him (not as easy to forget) but he will be on a much shorter leash from now on. There are worse things that can happen in a relationship so just trying to keep it all in perspective really.

    And, Lulubellarama, I agree. I know he's been feeling really scared about ttc. Not that he doesn't want kids, but you know men, the slightest thought that they might just have to grow up scares them!

    Thanks for all your messages.

    xxxxMrsHopeful
  • Hi Mrs Hopeful

    Well, what a cr*p weekend you've had.....I'm really sorry to hear about your Grandma. The emotions of all of your weekend most likely had that effect on your hormones and hence the early AF (don't you just hate it!).

    Re your DH, i am sure he is very very sorry, and i know how it feels to have friend and a husband betray you. However, a marriage holds 'history', and that is irreplaceable, so for this so called 'friend' to deliberatly behave like this is totally unacceptable, and she needs her arse kicked!

    My (ex) husband was a bar manager and one night we had gone to the bar for a friends birthday, and i felt pretty good, but i noticed that the barmaid kept on 'checking' me out. It was hy husbands, cousins' wife, and i just assumed that she was looking to see how much weight i'd lost (because i'd lost about 5 stone), anyway, i couldnt have been more wrong because she was actually sleeping with my husband behind my back and had been for 6 months. I told her exactly what i thought of her, and she has been scared of me ever since......i've seen her physically shake!!! I actually felt very sorry for my husband, and whilst he was equally to blame, she rattled me more. The reason we are now divorced is far more complex.

    So, i just wanted to add my bit so you know that there are some very spiteful people out there, and she obviously is totally unfulfilled in her own life.

    I truly hope that you and DH are ok, and i hope you have a peaceful week.

    XXXX
  • Thank you nooniem. Really kind words. And you're right, I do blame her more.

    I noticed a spelling mistake on my previous post - I meant if he had done more (not me!!) he would be out of the door.

    xxxx

  • Nice one Gem!

    MrsHopeful - i think that the whole 'men are from mars' thing is true....... and i think that as women, we should be sticking together and not stabbing each other backs, and thats why i think to give him some benefit of the doubt.

    Take care xxxx
  • And once again, thanks girls!! Gem, I know exactly what you mean!!! I gave her a few choice words on Sunday but I can be an evil cow too!! I plan to play the long game.........she'll never want to cross me again!!

    God, I sound like some sort of psycho!!!!! I'm not into violence but I am happy with mental torture!!!!!!


    xxxxxx
  • sorry to hear your going through so much hurt at the moment,if this makes you more stronger with your hubbie,good for you! dont let this little slapper drag you both down,as for your nan,iam really sorry,it hurts when someone close to you passes away,i know it doesnt help but it will get better,sending you lots of hugs and pma

    sarah
    xxx
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