CD37, I knew I had no willpower
I was a fool to think I'd last until Sat, but now I'm wishing I had of course. Last night (cd36) I was looking at how many tests I had left and as I had a couple more than I thought so I tested. I have never tested at night before but the addiction told hold! BFN of course without even a hint of an evap line. Then this morning (cd37) like an even bigger fool I thought I should do one with FMU as in my head last night didn't count, BFN. I think it had an evap line after 15 mins (discard after 30) but nothing that anyone else would ever be able to spot. I prefer to have evap lines than nothing even if they aren't obvious as it saves me from loses all hope, I've spotted it before but BFN's of course. That's a lie actually as now I feel like crap, no pma and hate ttc as it feels shite.
My problem was that Mon night I dreamt that I was pg with twin boys, had a very real natural birth and actually had 1 boy and 1 girl. Then had a very vivid breast feeding part, never had any of this before so it got me going. My nan on my mums side is a twin, she has a twin brother! I just feel stupid now as I have no signs of O and we don't BD enough so I know there is a chance but the chances of the timing being right is stupidly low. I know it's not over till af shows but right now it feels over as isn't this the same as every other month! I really must learn to test when I'm late, why or why do we do this to ourselves. Not sure when I'll test again but will keep you all updated.
My problem was that Mon night I dreamt that I was pg with twin boys, had a very real natural birth and actually had 1 boy and 1 girl. Then had a very vivid breast feeding part, never had any of this before so it got me going. My nan on my mums side is a twin, she has a twin brother! I just feel stupid now as I have no signs of O and we don't BD enough so I know there is a chance but the chances of the timing being right is stupidly low. I know it's not over till af shows but right now it feels over as isn't this the same as every other month! I really must learn to test when I'm late, why or why do we do this to ourselves. Not sure when I'll test again but will keep you all updated.
0
Replies
How long have you been trying?
xxxxxx
I agree that it's better to BD through the month but it's really hard work. My DH isn't bothered about 'doing it' that often and it's hard work and depressing when he turns me down. We got into the habit of 'doing it' about once a month or maybe twice so now it feels very different and forced. My cycles have gotten longer (44,33,30, 39 and now 37 and counting) so with no idea on O etc it is along time to keep it up.
Am going to try a.c next month and increase the dosage on epo. Tried opk's once but no +ve and so it made it worse. I felt fab this month but the BFN's just make me lose all hope. I guess I just do it knowing that there's a chance of a BFP and that being one of the best days in my life when it happens. The BFN's are the worst though. Sorry to be a bore, I'm the same every month! I know I'm not out yet but I just feel at a loss with my cycle so the prospect of a new month is another month of being lost. Thanks for your reply, I just need to learn to be patient!
don't know if this will help but when me and oh decided to start ttc it was the same for us, felt really forced and not that much fun but to be honest now after a few mths we both know what and when we need to do so we are now getting in the habit of bd more often and it feels more natural! and much more fun!! i don't have to tell him that much now!!!
but fingers crossed, there is still a possiblility and i won't be giving up on you just yet!!!
PMA all the way!!!!
It will happen just sometimes it takes time and once you get into it you and your hubby will get use to it and enjoy it more xxxxxxxxxx
Anyway I hope the next time you test its that bfp. Good luck!!xx
good luck it will happen xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx