Struggling emotionally with ttc ;(

Hi guys, no need to reply here but I'm so so down and need to get it off my chest.
Hubby and I are 25, nearly on ttc month 8 with no AF for 5 months. Polycystic ovaries diagnosed, fertility dr says I'm unlikely to ovulate on my own without treatment. I'm starting Clomid in 5 weeks but finding it so hard to stay positive. I'm a primary teacher and surrounded by young children, families and often toddlers and babies daily which I'm finding hard to cope with- 3 children in my class have pregnant mums too.
I desperately want to be a mum, truthfully it's much more important to me than my career. I'm not interested in promotion or travelling or anything else. I'm wondering if it will ever happen. My SIL is trying for her second and fell in month 1 last time no problem so I know she'll be announcing it soon.
Finding it so hard todistract myself and getting really down about it- I've confided in a few friends but obviously it's not the kind of thing you tell any old person. People say the classic things like oh you're still young, just relax, it'll happen when you least expect- but it can't happen if I can't ovulate! I have lots of hospital tests coming up soon and same for hubby which I'm scared of- terrified of what the results are. :\(
So sorry to bring down the positive vibes on here but maybe someone understands?


  • oh hun, i feel the need to reply!!im sending you huge hugs and remember doctors now are ace, they really know what they are doing to help you get your baby!we have been trying for 6-8 months and ppl around us are getting pregnant easily, my friend pinpointed the exact day she concieved as it was the only day they had done a bit of bd that month!!youre not alone, keep chatting on here, everyone can help xx
  • Hi,
    You're not alone, I'm feeling it too!! I've been ttc for 2 years this month and have had a stillbirth and then a mc 2 weeks ago, sometimes it seems as though its never going to happen!! It's crap feeling like this isn't it and you're not the only one with the negative vibes image
    I hope you feel better soon and that the Clomid does the trick for you. Big Hugs xx
  • didnt want to read and run honey.

    Just want to send you hugs and i hope clomid works for you,
  • Thank you, I really appreiciate your support xx So sorry to hear about your losses dotty.
    Some days I cope fine and have some pma, then as soon as I see a baby or someone mentions pg or it's on tv or whatever it's back! Ugggh. Distraction isn't helping either- I've tried meeting friends, starting a new hobby, shopping... my cats are getting sick of being picked up and cuddled all the time too, as I need an outlet for broodiness lol!
  • I really hope clomid works for you hun - you and your oh deserve it so much. lots of love and best wishes xxx
  • i was in asda the other day brooding over a tigger jumpsuit!its got paws and tiggers face on the hood. took all my strength not to buy it for my maybe baby, just kills me walking past all the baby stuff, horrible aint it, i feel for you xxx
  • Haven't really got any advice pet, just wanted to send you a big virtual hug. I really hope your tests aren't too scary and that the doctors do their bestest to help you become the fabulous mummy you will no doubt be. xx

    [Modified by: MrsRobertson on January 12, 2010 07:50 PM]

  • It puts it into perspective when you see how others feel, my heart goes out to you and your situation. As sad as my losses are, and don't take this the wrong way, at least I know I can get pregnant, it's just the baking in the oven thats not happening for me at the moment!! I also have a 10yr old son, so i'm lucky to have been blessed once. Doctors can work wonders these days and you will get your baby, we all will. Good luck hun, i've got my fingers crossed for you xx
  • hope it happens for you with clomid hun xx
  • Don't worry dotty I know what you mean- no offence caused :\)
    Totally agree about baby stuff in shops... I don't even let myself look at cute stuff like that cos I'd probably lose it and start wailing like a nutter!
  • Hi kittenmittens,
    Big hugs to you. I know how you feel, Ive been pretty much feeling the same too. Im 30 next month and hubby is 35 and we have been trying for 8 months. Ive just been to see doc today as Ive been getting spotting a week before AF is due and Im worried that whatever is causing it may be the reason we havent got PG yet. She has referred me for a Ultrasound scan of pelvis. Bit worried about what they may find.
    I know how you feel about not being able to distract yourself, ttc is on my mind all the time!!! I dont really care about a career either and just want to get pregnant. Lets hope that we both get our bfp's soon. Lots of pma and big hugs xxxxxx
  • I am lucky enough to have beautiful boy and not ttc at the moment but I do remember the stress I put myself under when ttc last time. I misc my first pregnancy although only a few weeks gone. Then every waking moment I was obsessed with preg tests, ovulation, posting on here etc. I think I put myself under too much pressure and a good piece of advice (although the website won't like it) is to actually come off here for a day or two as although you get amazing support here sometime s it does fuel the obsession.
    Luckily it happened about 8 cycles later for us but I'm not sure we would be so lucky if we tried again. I am sure you have heard of all those people who stop trying and then it happens for them? I used to think but how will they stop trying!!
    Anyhow I wish you well and hope that you have some positive news soon x x x
  • Hi Kittenmittens - I really really feel for you, and sending big hugs!! We've been ttc for 7 months and af just comes and goes when she likes, but not very often! I'm off to the docs in a couple of weeks and I have a feeling I may have PCOS, based on a previous scan years ago which showed 'slightly cycstic ovaries' - oh how I wish I'd looked into that at the time! Am hoping that my doc refers me earlier than a year as I too am finding it all very hard image

    Hugs to you xxxxx
  • Oh hun, I am really sorry you're so down at the moment. People mean well when they say relax and you're still young, but the reality is that it sucks. I just want to give you a big (((((((((hug))))))))) and let you know we're all here when you need to vent. I really hope you have lots of success with Clomid. Lots of luv x x
  • Aww you're all so lovely! :\)

    I think lots of people feel a bit like this, which kind of helps in a weird way... cos I'm not alone with it. Keep hoping we'll get there in the end, hugs to all ((((()))))) x
  • Hey sweet, didn't want to r&r you sounded so heartbroken. Sending loads of babydust and pma your way. ((((((hugs)))))) xxx
  • Kittenmittens- just realised that you're a teacher I am too and I know lots of people on here who are. I know what you mean I was only thinking today how it adds pressure and upset when we are looking after other people's children all day but desperately wanting our own. It's also frustrating when we know how so many of the kids aren't loved. It will make you a better parent in the long run though when everything works out.

    Just to make you aware as well from what people of have told me you can only go on clomid for a certain length of time and that's it. So make sure you're ready for it and you look into some kind of charting or tracking or whatever- if that's what feels right. I have a friend who is pretty far into TTC and tried Clomid a while ago. The doctors didn't really give her much info at the time and she now regrets not checking when she was ovulating to give it the best shot. Don't want to sound negative as it seems to be pretty successful but just wanted you to have that extra info because I hadn't realised it myself until I've started to look into it more (hugs) xxx
  • Hi Kittenmittens

    I am in exactly the same boat and have decided to take matters into my own hands - sick of waiting for body to sort itself out as 4 months since came off pill and no AF still!! I am going for Acupuncture next week as it has had really good reviews for regulating AF's and getting you ovulating again so I will report back on my findings. I had just had enough of sitting and waiting (I am a control freak and need to feel like I am doing something!)

    I feel a bit more positive about it all now - Baby dust to us all!!!! image
  • Hope09 I completely share those feelings about teaching and ttc- I also think that it's such a knackering job and the stress doesn't help things. Although so far this year I am succeeding at closing my classroom door at 5pm and walking away from it for the evening- having some relaxing evenings with hubby which is good for both of us.

    Catherine the accupuncture sounds really intriguing! How much are you paying, and how did you find your therapist?

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