Advice please ladies - husband going to Afghan

I don't often post on here - more of a lurker than a poster but I am in need of some advice and was hoping you lovely ladies could help me.

My husband and I have been TTC for 4 months now, as yet unsuccessfully, but we are desperate for a little one of our own. I have a history of difficulties relating to my cycle and ovulating so we are preparing ourselves for a bit of a long run, although I have invested in a CBFM to use next month image.

Anyway, the point of this post is that my husband will going to Afghan for 6 months any time from June onwards. He is not in the army and this trip is "optional" but it is very important for his career, and the money he would get would mean would could buy our first house and that I could easily take 12 months maternity, if not more if we wanted it. I support his decision to go but I was thinking today, what if i fall pregnant before he leaves?

Obviously he would not go away if during his time if Afghan the baby would be due, but it's quite likely (fingers crossed) that he may be away whilst I am pregnant, He would go for 3 months, then come back for a month, then return for another 2/3 months,

This being our first child, I have no idea what to expect in pregnancy. Would I be insane to consider going through pregnancy without him here???

Any advice is welcome please! He's away at the min and I'm home alone thinking these things over and over!!



  • hiya, i think everyone is different in this situation, i think him going through your pregnancy with you would benifit you, your hub and your baby. but also you have to lok at the bigger picture,a and if him going away for 6 months means a better quality of life for you and babe, and being able to spend longer with babe (not goin back to work after 6 months etc) it would be great for him to go away and make a better life for you and ur soon2be baby (hopefully) i would say keep ttc up to when he goes away, if u dont fall pg, then its not too much of a problem, so u wont be as stressed out about it all, and if you do fall pg, maybe he could do the 3 month then another 3 month thing. so it sounds like a win win to be honest, wether you get pg now, or later, you will still have more money, ask him how he feels about it, if hes happy to go for 6 months while your pg? see how he feels about it? its a hard one coz u dont no wether u will get pg starit away, unless your happy to wait like 8 months, which personally i couldnt do, but depends if u r as desperate as me lol xxxxxx
  • Hi "me"
    Thanks for replying. I like you am currently obsessed with TTC so the idea of taking 8 months off just isn't viable - I would go insane!

    I guess we should just carry on as normal and see what happens really.

    Unfortunately he;s away at the minute for a month and I don't have phone contact so will have to wait for him to return before we can discuss it properly

  • Im trying to conceive my second child so Ive been pregnant before. I would say from my experience that it depends how much support you have around you other than your partner ie family and friends. You will definately want someone around at times when ur feeling a bit poorly or you hav something exciting to share like a kick or something but if you have family and friends around they can be there for you at these times. asnd of course you can also phone and email your partner. Just remember that if you miss him alot when he's away normally you will be extra emotional when you have pregnancy hormones too! image Hope that is of some help to you?

    Amy x
  • Thanks Smithy - always nice to advice from someone who has been there.
    I agree I think I would miss sharing the experience with him but long term I suppose it would be worth it. My family don't live near me but hubby's mum lives up the road and we're close, and my good friend lives next door so I would have support nearby.
    As for hormones - I am bad enough with PMT so god knows what I'll be like
    Good luck TTC x
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