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What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

Sound familiar.....

That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That one day you wouldn't mind checking your CM or CP to see if it is your fertile period.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm

That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month

That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant. (your oh has to do some work too)

That you have no control over some of the goals you set...

That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen

That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.

That miscarriage is so common.

That I would wish we had started TTC earlier.

That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.

That I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.

That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.

That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.

That family would act like getting pregnant was a competition between all the young couples in the family, and the first one to get pg "wins".

That my OH is the most wonderful and caring man!

That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!

That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!

That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my OH about it.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Norwich Union.

That medicine and procedures are not a sure fire way to get pregnant but it is a sure fire way to lose money fast.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion by now.

That having af show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.

That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.

Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.

That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.

That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.

That I would splash urine on my face while taking apart an hpt in the hopes there really was a 2nd pink line hiding in it.

That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy.

That infertility is more common than you think.

That one day all of this will make us stronger.

That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).

That no one I know (in my non TTC life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.

That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.

That infertility is not as rare as I was led to believe.

That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.

That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of obsession.

That it could hurt so much to lose your innocence.

That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.

That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.

That I'd be glad to know that I have PCOS - because at least I know what's wrong.

That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know there real name, their OH's name, or their occupation.

That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).

That foreplay would consist of OH asking "How's your cervix today"

That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.

That some people just say the wrong things

That sex would ever become a chore!

That actually having a miscarriage would allow me to understand the loss that others have felt.

That miscarriage would make me want a baby even more than before!

That OH would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones

That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

That I would be so sad, and ashamed.

That I would learn to speak in code

That when AF showed up you would feel broken and disfunctional.

That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.

That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.

That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.

That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.

That I would meet such wonderful group of people that I can share my sorrow, frustration and fears with.

That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future (she told me twins in 3 to 5 months!)

That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.

That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.

That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?" (and this is after 20 months TTC...)

That my brother, who started TTC at the same time we did and whose wife got PG three months later, would go on and on telling me how tough and tiring life with a baby is, and then finish with: "You have no idea what it's like!"

That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would enfuriate me beyond belief.

That my friends who started TTC #1 around the same time we did would already be pregnant with #2 before we get pregnant with #1.

That I wouldn't be able to attend my friend's babies 1st birthday parties because of the quesiton, "So, when are you going to have children."

That the people around me would become more insensitive as time goes on. "It is so hard having a new baby, you just wouldn't understand." or "Be happy you're not tied down."

That it puts this much strain on a marriage.

That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period. Now I can't seem to lose the witch!

It's good to know I am not alone.

That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.

That a friend would hid and ignore her own pregnancy to try to keep me from being upset. (we found out when she gave birth)

That sex does NOT ALWAY equal pregnancy or STD every time

That your body has its own mind.

That you would be keeping it a secret from everyone.

That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your 16yo cousin.

That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.

Life as you know it will be interrupted for two weeks.

That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to the pain you feel when you lose a loved one.

That all of a sudden nursing other people's babies becomes a depressing NOT joyful feeling

That you feel useless as a female

That you will soon be lying through your teeth telling people that you don't want children

That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.

That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".

That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

Can anyone tick any of those feeling on their list, know i can! kim xxxxxxxxxx


  • Ow Huni

    Your list is SO TRUE! and ive ticked nearly every single box.
    The JUST RELAX one is my fave at the moment!
    If only some people could understand.......................

    You missed feeling like i've got ten heads when i see a Consultant or Dr because i cried and felt utterly helpless.

    Im so glad that we all have eachother to share our deepest thoughts and random questions that we prob wouldn't dare ask anyone we know out of cyberspace

  • This is all so true. And made me cry - which I seem to do at the drop of a hat at the mo! Poor dh doesn't know what to do with me. Although he is the main person who says 'just relax' which REALLY isn't helping. I feel like such a failure and really don't like my body at the moment.

    Thank goodness we have this forum though. xx
  • It hurts so much! Sobbing all over the place. I ticked most of those boxes.
  • I related to a lot of them. It is so true and yet so very sad.

    Thank you for sharing the list with us.
  • Thanks for the list and yes I am now sat here crying.

    All of those things are so true.
  • Totally agree with the others and this list choked me up. I feel like a bit of a fraud as we've only been trying 3 months but I honestly thought I'd stop the pill and straight away I'd be pregnant, how wrong could I be! Fingers crossed we all get our BFP's soon xx
  • Made me cry. It hurts so deep down. I never thought I would go to the lengths of avoiding family who are pg cause it makes me feel so jealous and useless!
  • woomummy i am gate crashing sorry but do you know what hun i ticked all those boxes once i was trying for my son for 3 years and my daughter for 2 and a half so fully understand but there can be light at the end the relax thing is so maddening but distraction works better! havin put my life on hold i decided to fulfil some of my wish list and booked moterbike lessons and 2 days before the first 1 i was pregnant!! distraction babe its the only way !good luck to all you girls on here and i sending extra special sticky baby dust
    fea x
  • I think most of us can tick all those boxes. Thank god we have BE to come speak to loyal cyber friends who know exactly what ur going through!
  • They forgot the guilt. The guilt of wanting it so bad and then someone telling you about their friend who has been trying for x years more/on their 7th attempt at ivf etc etc leaving you with the feeling that you have no right to be miserable as there is always someone worse off. Sometimes, when I have poas 5 times in the last 2 days and my dh face is lit up with a 'maybe' chance and then af arrives, I just want to be miserable & peed off without the guilt. I know there are people worse off but it does still hurt.

    Thank you everyone for keeping me (relatively) sane xxx
  • OMG I've ticked pretty much every box and the 'just relax' thing drives me insane. Thanks everyone for being here and being my best ttc friends a girl could ask for. xx
  • sounds quite depressing when you write all down

  • If I ever do get blessed with kids I'm going to pass on what I've learnt about TTC. If I'd known before what I know now I would have started a good few years earlier.

    LOL isn't that an Rod Stewart song!!!
  • I have ticked almost all those boxes too. It is all so true its unbelievable. Glad I have all of you to talk to as there is absolutely no one else and even my OH has had enough of me going on! xxx thanks
  • I thought you were writing a story about my life!!! It's good to know that there are others who understand. I really hope that none of us will be still ttc and on BE soon. Sticky baby dust.....xx
  • Im glad everyone liked it, although i didnt mean to make anyone upset...says she who shed a tear reading it!!! Its just so accurate its stupid, but if i wasnt going through this i wouldnt of met u lovely ladies, so it cant all be bad can it xxxxxx
  • I've just sat here reading the list and nodding. Thank you for putting in words everything I've been feeling over the past few months. It is like an emotional release. I have felt so bad about being jealous of the pregnant women who seem to be springing up from nowhere so it is nice to know I'm not alone.
  • Wow must off taken u ages...

    Its all so true tho! Every words what we all share!!

    Em x
  • thanks for proving we are all normal and ttc is actually a normal thing to go though although it hurts so much, we will all be the best mummys on the planet xxx
  • That made me well up too and im on the other side of ttc now. Im also watching evita and shes about to die so i dont think thats helped!

    Im sprinkling you all with babydust and i hope you all get bfps soon cos you deserve them x x x x
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