:cry: Depression???

Hi Ladies,

Well i was all determined not to come on here again as i was fed up but all last night and today i have done nothing but cry. And my OH, on a night, is too busy napping and then going to bed to be bothered. Plus no one knows we are TTC so i can't really speak to anyone. So basically if i keep my head up my arse and don't come on BE then i will have no one to speak to :\(

I just don't know what to do, i don't know if i am panicking or what. I still haven't got my peak and i am on CD21. I keep thinking maybe i only OV every other month, which if i do means i am going to have to get the docs involved again which i hate :cry:

I have an underactive thyroid and i am wondering if i am slowly starting to suffer from depression (it is quite a strong symptom of thyroid problems) and i really don't want that. Since my last AF i have done nothing but cry at the stupidest things from someone kissing on Emmerdale to Olly not winning X Factor, last night i cried at Amanda Holden Midwife programme. I am just so worried everything is just spiralling me into depression, the doc said it wouldn't surprise them after everything i have bee through in the last year or so (not very professional if you ask me)

I apologise for all the shite i have caused on here lately and i still stick to my guns but atm i need somebody and i have no one! OH's answer to everything is "it will be ok" and sometimes i don't want to hear that.

I don't know whether this is a rant or whether i want advice but like i said, i have nowhere else to go (poor me eh?)

Tink x


  • Hey Tink,

    So sorry to hear how down you're feeling. I think I can safely say that the girls will all be pleased you're back as it really wasn't something you needed to leave over.

    As for the depression, unfortunately it's a very real thing and you are definitely more prone to it with your thyroid issues (thyroid problems run through my family and so does depression). There are times when it's possible to pick yourself up and certain things can help you to feel better, like exercise, in particular yoga, but sometimes you do need to get some help. I suffer on and off with depression, it got to a very bad stage a couple of years ago and I was on medication and seeing a therapist twice a week - I never wanted to be on medication but tbh I was in such a hole I couldn't get myself out without help. It sounds as though you could be going down that road so I would really suggest that you speak to someone. I saw my GP and then found a therapist who helped me more than I could ever have have hoped for and she taught me techniques that I still use now to deal with the downs I get and she also put me on the medication until I was strong enough to deal with everything again. There are lots of ways that you can deal with depression but I would definitely talk to your doctor if you are feeling this low - maybe it could even be that your thyroid medication needs adjusting?

    I think you should also try and talk to your OH about how you're feeling, he needs to understand you are struggling at the moment and he needs to support you and help you through it.

    Good luck hun, we're here whenever you need us.
  • Hey hunni, I am new on here so don't really know what has been going on,but I am sure that all of the ladies on here will still be here for you.From what I have seen on here everyone seems lovely.

    I suffered on and off with deression for years so if you need someone to talk to I am here for you hunni.
    Have you been to the docs? I found taking that first step and going to see the docs helped me alot.


  • just to let you know i didn't start getting highs until cd28 last month and had 6 before a peak! previously i got them on CD17! xx
  • Thanks for the comments. This is my second month using CBFM but not ovulating every month is my biggest fear atm. I got my peaks on CD17 & 18 last month. I started getting my highs this month on CD13 but it is just that peak i worry about. Last month i had a 28day cycle for the first time in my life and if that happens again this month then i am due in a week. I am starting to get cramping, needing the toilet a lot and indigestion and heartburn which i always get about a week before AF. Thinking back i had long cycles before and i read somewhere you don't get AF until you have OV'ed and in the past i have gone 2-3 months without a period so maybe i don't OV every month like i thought???

    I will also go to the docs about my feeling down all the time and see what they say. That is the last thing i want and i have felt down in the past but lately i feel i can't bring myself back up again like i could before.

  • I don't ovulate until cd 19 and 20 on my cbfm but I know it can vary a lot each month for different people. At least you can monitor it so if you aren't ov regularly you can get some help with it. Some girls on here swera by actus cagnus to regulate their cycles.

    It is depressing when you want a baby so badly and it doesn't come easily. I think we we first started ttc I just assumed it would happen immediately without any hiccups along the way. Reality sucks! x x
  • *tink* yyyyyaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy xx image

    The other month i was slightly stressed and it moved my OV by about 5 days and messed AF up.
    The last weeks been a odd 1 for you and i am wondering if stress is messing you up hun xxxxx

    Glad ur back hun xx gems x
  • Stress can cause ovulation to be delayed. I was made redundant last month and had a 44 day cycle (so ovulated day 30) - I'm usually quite irregular but not THAT irregular, so if you've been emotionally tired this month I bet that's it.

    Have you thought about confiding in a friend? I have some of mine and it's so nice to talk to them about it, whether they've had a child or not they're sympathetic and mean I don't have to talk to OH all the time about it...x
  • HI Sam, glad you're back!

    I think you are right to go back to the doctor. There is nothing to be ashamed of - depression is like any other illness and it needs to be sorted out.

    I went to the doctors myself recently - I had been having anxiety attacks since the mmc in September. While I have got a lot better I really want to be able to get some strategies for dealing with my worries, rather than have them spiral out of control. I know that I need to do this in order to be strong enough to enjoy my next pregnancy, and also so that I can be a good mummy. So the doctor has referred me for counselling. I think this could help you to, as (judgeing by the number of new topics you post!) you seem to be someone who needs to talk through how they are feeling.
  • hey sweetie, sorry to hear you're feeling so down. Look up SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder. Its a winter type depression, always tired, eating loads of carbs and crying lots. I get it pretty much every year around October till March, I don't take medication cos there are other ways I can feel better. xxx

    [Modified by: cass82 on December 15, 2009 06:07 PM]

  • I cried too at the Amanda Holden midwife show - when the baby needed to be resuscitated I bawled my eyes out!
    I get a bit seasonal and have suffered with depression in the past. I find my best way of controlling it is by getting regular exercise and eating plenty of fruit and veg - it really helps the energy levels. If I get too sluggish it seems to get me worse.
    I have also found it hard not ahving anyone to talk to as my DH is another 'it'll all be ok' kinda guy. He accidentally got a uni girlfriend pregnant using the withdrawal method in the first month of them being together so he thought it would be easy as pie! I have found a couple of close friends who have recently had babies who I am now confiding in and it has helped no end. I've actually found out a lot more about their issues with ttc and one even discussed it in front of my DH so he's a lot more aware now - everything I saw is old wives tales until he hears it from somebody else!!!
    I have to say though it is so good we can all chat openly here about stuff but a shame we have to do it online - wouldn't it be nice if we all just sit in a coffee shop (or pub!) and have a good old chat?!
    Hope you feel better soon xx
  • Hi Sam
    Am glad you are back. I really understand how you feel about not being able to talk to people. Many of my friends stopped asking me to come on a night out and some people pretty much stopped talking to me the minute I got engaged because for a student that is not the most common thing to do.
    So I don't even mention babies because I might loose more friends(although have to figure out if I want friends who don't approve of my choices)

    I also have depressions on and off, I talked to the docs and they have it on my file but I refuse medication up to now...I tend to force myself to go and exercise because that helps soooo much. I know that you can't exercise that much because of your thyroid but perhaps there is something that you can do? swimming perhaps or pilates?

    hope you feel better soon
  • could it be that you are ovulating from only one egg if it is only every other month?

    I know you don't like getting the doctor involved, and I totally understand why, but if you are depressed then you need to speak to him Sam as that will make this whole thing worse.

    I read an I am back post by a lady and she mentioned that TTC had made her a little stressed out and it was affecting her sanity. I know how badly you want this hun, that is clear, but do you not think maybe a small break could be an idea. Maybe just a month or 2.
    I can understand if this may sound easy from me, but if it helped the other lady, maybe it could be the way for you.
    Chat to your GP about the depression as well, as that needs looking at hun. For your benefit more than anything.
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