People like this who get pregnant straight away just don't understand what women go through each month when trying to concieve.
Most people start in month one with the lets just have lots of sex and see what happens but being women we can't help getting a bit obsessed. When we don't just magically get pregnant of course you would use all tools available to you to improve your chances of achieving something that means the world to you.
I started using OPKs and in month three and found out that we had normally given up "doing it all the time" before I had ovulated as it's so knackering, On month 4 I began charting too and taking agnus castus and all these combined got me my BFP. I think if we had still been just having sex I wouldn't be pregnant now as the month I got my BFP I OVd on CD21, which I wouldnever have expected.
Don't let people like this wind you up. Just do what's right for you. I just know the natural approach did not work for me and in the month we got pregnant thanks to OPKs we managed to time it just right.
I found OPKs actually took pressure off us a bit as it saved us having to do it every other day from day 7 to 21 which can mean just going through the motions when you are tired and really not in the mood.
Good luck to you all and I hope you get your BFPs soon
On reading this thread I just couldn't help but go and have a nose round Cosmo - too much spare time or what?!!
I'm over the moon for the minority who get pregnant within a month but it's so awful to make judgements like that. I bet her opinion would have changed even if she'd had to wait even just until month two or three!
It's mad how different an environment Cosmo is and I'm so glad I'm in BE and not over there. Everyone here's so nice and supportive of each other and people here seem to have their feet on the ground.
Situation is such a big decider on how active we want our ttc to be. For some of us it is simply a matter of stopping 'not trying' but for others we know or suspect a problem, age can be a factor and even the fact that you're only in a job because of maternity pay and wouldn't be there otherwise. And even if none of the above apply, is there anything wrong with good old fashioned curiosity about your own body?
Me personally, I'm now in CD129 after having no AF since coming off BCP. I started by using OPKs in the first month as I really wanted to get pregnant straight away if I could. I got a smiley face on CD24 but nothing happened since. I'm now waiting for a scan to diagnose PCOS so OPKs and CBFMs are no use to me as the condition gives false results. I would give anything to know what was going on and have some pattern to follow instead of just waiting for months on end to see if AF comes. If I had a cycle I'd have bought every possible gadget by now but I'm having to make do with good old fashioned BDing in the hope that one day my body will manage to ovulate!
So baby dust to us all however we're going about it!
Can I just say that I am NOT the CH for that section anymore as I quit a couple of months back, but while I was I did, and still continue to help people, INCLUDING YOU TINK, with regards to pregnancy and birth, having had 3 kids myself whilst up against medical problems myself.
For a bloody start the thread was a light hearted topic in all honesty, but Tink decided to take it personally, which is her own damn fault.
I do know how it feels to wait having suffered a total of 5 miscarraiges and it taking time to fall with my 3rd baby. I had to have tests, scans etc to check all was OK, I then risked losing that baby too sue to my health. I have cysts on my ovaries quite often but not seriously enough to be PCOS. I have scarring on my fallopian tubes from numerous infections, so please do not sit up there on your high horses judging me for being one of the lucky ones, because in all honesty I am far from damn well lucky. Yes, I have been blessed with children but it has been a hard road, and as much as you will all hate me for this. I would much rather not be able to conceive than have 5 miscarraiges.
I was talking about women who begin charting as soon as they decide to start trying, not the ones that have been trying for months/years, or indeed those that have problems with their periods. Just the ones that one day decide to start trying for a baby and think, oh no, i better run out and get all the ovulation kits on sale and see when is the best time.
If half of you had actually seen the bloody thread you would know that as well, but no, you are all bitching about me when you know nothing about what the actual thread said, oh except the 2 that joined.
I totally understand people who have been trying for a baby and know there are possible medical reasons for not falling pregnant, what I don't get and feel saddened by is people who, as i have said already and numerous times on the thread in question, decide to start trying and do it all straight away. Personally I feel it takes the immediate romance away from trying for a baby and makes it seem clinical from the start. Is feeling that was really that bad? If you all think so then fine, nice to see this bloody site hasn't changed. It was bullcrap like this that made me leave in the first place in all honesty.
Oh and I would just like to add, that she failed to mention that only 4 people on a 3 page thread actually disagreed with me, and 2 of them had to join from this site! The majority also think that doing it from the very start seems a sad thing to feel you have to do.
[Modified by: Elsbeth on December 12, 2009 05:37 PM]
hun, i feel if you were only directing your post at certain people you should have said that people have their own reasons to use temp or opk's. really its down to the individial people. we use these things and have been tryng for 6 cycles ( i used it from the start) it has not made my sexlife clinical and i have made sure it hasnt got in the way of that. my oh na di have a perfectly healthy sexlife and do not just have sex at ov time. people do things there own way and i dont feel you have a right to judge them for doing so, wether they have only started trying or have been for many months.
Its a fact that most women are unaware of their cycles as many have been on the pill for however long.
I didnt use opks for the first few months and was having sex at completely the wrong times.
I think you shouldnt judge other people for choices they make re ttc. I think its great that women are getting to know there cycles properly and if you look on our planning a baby forum you will see many intelligent women making informed descisions.
Talking about the "good old days" on your thread. Yeah back in the day women didnt use opks or cbfm...
1. they didnt exist 2. less women worked jobs with unsocialible hours (no time for bd all the time) 3. less women had careers which led them to ttc at a later time in life (no time to have happy mistakes) 4. There wasnt a million different contraceptions which cause the body to react in different ways when trying to come off them and mess up your cycle 5. there wasnt so much research into female fertility problems such as endo or pcos (making it harder to concieve)
and a billion other reasons why women arent concieving as easily as they did in the 40's and 50's.
Women taking control of their fertility and using cbfm, opks or whatever or nothing is their own decision, and its not your place to discuss their own very personal choices, making snide comments.
Hang on a minute.. I wasn't being horible when I said what I did on the thread in question.. as for the coment about the 40/50's.. that wasn't even bloody me that said that.
This thread was brought over by a different member, not me. You are talking to me baby-princess like I waded into this section and started bitching at you all about using them, when the truth of the matter is, if Tink hadn't started running her mouth about what I said on a totally different webiste then you would have been none the piggin wiser would you?
In the original post I made, I actually said I understand people with possible medical problems using it all. I also didn't say that they shouldn't from the start.. I said that I PERSONALLY find it a little sad that women feel they have to do this rather than first off just relaxing and taking it one day at a time. I wasn't nasty, I didn't, as far as i am concerned bitch or indeed judge, I simply expressed an opinion. If that upset Tink then I am sorry, but as other members indicated, that was her own doing as I didn't in anyway say anything that was aimed at her. I shouldn't of had to say who it was aimed at, as as far as i am concerned the original post was clear enough for someone to see and understand.. everyone else managed it perfectly fine.
I appreciate that it is their own decision and I don't care in all honesty, all I was doing was expressing an opinion.
Actually, I am going to now post on here the original point I made so all of you that have decided I am the devil incarnate for saying what I did, can actually SEE what I said.
what happened to just deciding to try for a baby and seein what happened?
It saddens me so much to see women tying themselves up in knots over when the best time to have sex is. Sex isn't just for making babies!!
Relaxed people who don't put pressure on themselves have more chance of conceiving. Granted there are there are the few that have medical reasons they can't fall, but that should only be found out after 12 months of trying.
Technology has taken the fun out of making babies and it really really upsets me.
I have never used anything to chart when my eggs are being released and i swear I was pregnant within 4 weeks of trying.
Luck, probably, but I think just being chilled out about it and seeing what happens helped loads.
i had actually read your original post before i posted on here i just feel there is no need to say that people should wait 12months to see if they have problems, why should we in this day and age.
just feel like you are judging people coz they want to know what is happening with their body.
when i had my first we fell within 4weeks but i did opk's that month and even though we were having lot of sex, i just wanted to know we were also having it at the right time.
i just think it was a pointless post that was going to upset someboday along the way.
[Modified by: angel100 on December 12, 2009 06:23 PM]
Like you said you stated your opinion.... I stated mine.
Relaxed people tend to not have fertility problems and spend all night and day dreaning about having their baby after months of heartbreak and tears. Relaxed people stay relaxed because they dont have miscarriage after miscarriage, have cervical mucus which kills their oh sperm, have low egg reserves, arent unable to ovulate or have irregular ovulation and a million other things the brave people i see on here and ltttc have.
You stated your opinion, tink came here and stated hers...
plus "technology" has certainly not taken the fun out of my sex life
I said that as when I had my miscarraiges this is what I was told was the norm for that sort of thing. I was only going on my own experience.
If you took it as judging, again that is your interpretation of the post, but that is in no way how it was intended... if I wanted to be judging, believe me it would have been much more than suggesting waiting 12 months.
People have the right to their opinion.... I state mine all the time, but having the right to your opinion also includes people having the right to their opinion on your opinion....if that makes sense!
It sounds like you have had a difficult time if you have had 8 pregnancies in total and five ending in miscarriage. I'm very sorry to hear this, as I'm sure most ladies on here would be. In general I think that baby expert is a very genuine and supportive group and it has helped me lots.
I would think given what you have been through that you could sympathise in some ways with tink for finding some elements of your post insensitive to someone who has been trying to have a baby for a long period and turned to these methods.
Everyone is different though and everyone should be able to air their opinions...isn't that the point of a forum.
Oh yeah, I have no problem with someone having an opinion, what I had a problem with was a bunch of people who knew nothing about me having a pop at a thread, that was not pointless, it was a coment started after another thread so it was in total context actually, when they are not even involved in the website it is on. Fair enough the ones that joined, but you all on here, not even members of the forum do not have a right to bitch about someone who, to the best of your knowledge does not have the ability to defend themselves. That is bang out of order quite frankly. If you all had something to say about me, you should have, like the other 2 did joined up and said it all to my face. I would have respected opinions more then if I am honest.
I think its getting a little bit heated. I am only in my third month of actually trying. My first month we were just 'off the pill', second month we were casually trying and this month I am trying the SMEP, ovulation sticks, temp charting - the lot. It has brought me and DH much closer together over the whole thing, he even fills in the chart for me as he likes to know. We get stupidly excited about when to BD too (blushes).
I don't think this is sad, in fact it has made me more positive about the whole situation as I feel more in control.
I love all my girlies on here for supporting me in this, we all have very different situations and never feel that we have the right to judge each other xxx
that is fine if thats how you handled you whole ttc journey but why judge people who dont surely it is everyone own choice how they choose to run their own personal journey why make a post saying how you think it is sad.
Thats ok chook, I know a few of my friends who would find it odd, it is your opinion and I'm not about to bash you about it. I think that baby making is soo personal and is tied to so many emotions.
Credit to you hun for coming on here though, but you must understand that such seemingly blase comments could hurt some girlies, even though you've been through some difficult times yourself xxx
Replies
People like this who get pregnant straight away just don't understand what women go through each month when trying to concieve.
Most people start in month one with the lets just have lots of sex and see what happens but being women we can't help getting a bit obsessed. When we don't just magically get pregnant of course you would use all tools available to you to improve your chances of achieving something that means the world to you.
I started using OPKs and in month three and found out that we had normally given up "doing it all the time" before I had ovulated as it's so knackering, On month 4 I began charting too and taking agnus castus and all these combined got me my BFP. I think if we had still been just having sex I wouldn't be pregnant now as the month I got my BFP I OVd on CD21, which I wouldnever have expected.
Don't let people like this wind you up. Just do what's right for you. I just know the natural approach did not work for me and in the month we got pregnant thanks to OPKs we managed to time it just right.
I found OPKs actually took pressure off us a bit as it saved us having to do it every other day from day 7 to 21 which can mean just going through the motions when you are tired and really not in the mood.
Good luck to you all and I hope you get your BFPs soon
xx
I'm over the moon for the minority who get pregnant within a month but it's so awful to make judgements like that. I bet her opinion would have changed even if she'd had to wait even just until month two or three!
It's mad how different an environment Cosmo is and I'm so glad I'm in BE and not over there. Everyone here's so nice and supportive of each other and people here seem to have their feet on the ground.
Situation is such a big decider on how active we want our ttc to be. For some of us it is simply a matter of stopping 'not trying' but for others we know or suspect a problem, age can be a factor and even the fact that you're only in a job because of maternity pay and wouldn't be there otherwise. And even if none of the above apply, is there anything wrong with good old fashioned curiosity about your own body?
Me personally, I'm now in CD129 after having no AF since coming off BCP. I started by using OPKs in the first month as I really wanted to get pregnant straight away if I could. I got a smiley face on CD24 but nothing happened since. I'm now waiting for a scan to diagnose PCOS so OPKs and CBFMs are no use to me as the condition gives false results. I would give anything to know what was going on and have some pattern to follow instead of just waiting for months on end to see if AF comes. If I had a cycle I'd have bought every possible gadget by now but I'm having to make do with good old fashioned BDing in the hope that one day my body will manage to ovulate!
So baby dust to us all however we're going about it!
H xx
I AM THE BITCH THAT KNOWS EVERYTHING!
Can I just say that I am NOT the CH for that section anymore as I quit a couple of months back, but while I was I did, and still continue to help people, INCLUDING YOU TINK, with regards to pregnancy and birth, having had 3 kids myself whilst up against medical problems myself.
For a bloody start the thread was a light hearted topic in all honesty, but Tink decided to take it personally, which is her own damn fault.
I do know how it feels to wait having suffered a total of 5 miscarraiges and it taking time to fall with my 3rd baby. I had to have tests, scans etc to check all was OK, I then risked losing that baby too sue to my health. I have cysts on my ovaries quite often but not seriously enough to be PCOS. I have scarring on my fallopian tubes from numerous infections, so please do not sit up there on your high horses judging me for being one of the lucky ones, because in all honesty I am far from damn well lucky. Yes, I have been blessed with children but it has been a hard road, and as much as you will all hate me for this. I would much rather not be able to conceive than have 5 miscarraiges.
I was talking about women who begin charting as soon as they decide to start trying, not the ones that have been trying for months/years, or indeed those that have problems with their periods. Just the ones that one day decide to start trying for a baby and think, oh no, i better run out and get all the ovulation kits on sale and see when is the best time.
If half of you had actually seen the bloody thread you would know that as well, but no, you are all bitching about me when you know nothing about what the actual thread said, oh except the 2 that joined.
I totally understand people who have been trying for a baby and know there are possible medical reasons for not falling pregnant, what I don't get and feel saddened by is people who, as i have said already and numerous times on the thread in question, decide to start trying and do it all straight away. Personally I feel it takes the immediate romance away from trying for a baby and makes it seem clinical from the start. Is feeling that was really that bad?
If you all think so then fine, nice to see this bloody site hasn't changed. It was bullcrap like this that made me leave in the first place in all honesty.
Oh and I would just like to add, that she failed to mention that only 4 people on a 3 page thread actually disagreed with me, and 2 of them had to join from this site! The majority also think that doing it from the very start seems a sad thing to feel you have to do.
[Modified by: Elsbeth on December 12, 2009 05:37 PM]
Its a fact that most women are unaware of their cycles as many have been on the pill for however long.
I didnt use opks for the first few months and was having sex at completely the wrong times.
I think you shouldnt judge other people for choices they make re ttc. I think its great that women are getting to know there cycles properly and if you look on our planning a baby forum you will see many intelligent women making informed descisions.
Talking about the "good old days" on your thread. Yeah back in the day women didnt use opks or cbfm...
1. they didnt exist
2. less women worked jobs with unsocialible hours (no time for bd all the time)
3. less women had careers which led them to ttc at a later time in life (no time to have happy mistakes)
4. There wasnt a million different contraceptions which cause the body to react in different ways when trying to come off them and mess up your cycle
5. there wasnt so much research into female fertility problems such as endo or pcos (making it harder to concieve)
and a billion other reasons why women arent concieving as easily as they did in the 40's and 50's.
Women taking control of their fertility and using cbfm, opks or whatever or nothing is their own decision, and its not your place to discuss their own very personal choices, making snide comments.
That sort of stuff isnt welcome on here.
This thread was brought over by a different member, not me. You are talking to me baby-princess like I waded into this section and started bitching at you all about using them, when the truth of the matter is, if Tink hadn't started running her mouth about what I said on a totally different webiste then you would have been none the piggin wiser would you?
In the original post I made, I actually said I understand people with possible medical problems using it all. I also didn't say that they shouldn't from the start.. I said that I PERSONALLY find it a little sad that women feel they have to do this rather than first off just relaxing and taking it one day at a time. I wasn't nasty, I didn't, as far as i am concerned bitch or indeed judge, I simply expressed an opinion. If that upset Tink then I am sorry, but as other members indicated, that was her own doing as I didn't in anyway say anything that was aimed at her.
I shouldn't of had to say who it was aimed at, as as far as i am concerned the original post was clear enough for someone to see and understand.. everyone else managed it perfectly fine.
I appreciate that it is their own decision and I don't care in all honesty, all I was doing was expressing an opinion.
Actually, I am going to now post on here the original point I made so all of you that have decided I am the devil incarnate for saying what I did, can actually SEE what I said.
I see so many topics about Ovulation dates etc.
what happened to just deciding to try for a baby and seein what happened?
It saddens me so much to see women tying themselves up in knots over when the best time to have sex is. Sex isn't just for making babies!!
Relaxed people who don't put pressure on themselves have more chance of conceiving. Granted there are there are the few that have medical reasons they can't fall, but that should only be found out after 12 months of trying.
Technology has taken the fun out of making babies and it really really upsets me.
I have never used anything to chart when my eggs are being released and i swear I was pregnant within 4 weeks of trying.
Luck, probably, but I think just being chilled out about it and seeing what happens helped loads.
just feel like you are judging people coz they want to know what is happening with their body.
when i had my first we fell within 4weeks but i did opk's that month and even though we were having lot of sex, i just wanted to know we were also having it at the right time.
i just think it was a pointless post that was going to upset someboday along the way.
[Modified by: angel100 on December 12, 2009 06:23 PM]
Relaxed people tend to not have fertility problems and spend all night and day dreaning about having their baby after months of heartbreak and tears.
Relaxed people stay relaxed because they dont have miscarriage after miscarriage, have cervical mucus which kills their oh sperm, have low egg reserves, arent unable to ovulate or have irregular ovulation and a million other things the brave people i see on here and ltttc have.
You stated your opinion, tink came here and stated hers...
plus "technology" has certainly not taken the fun out of my sex life
If you took it as judging, again that is your interpretation of the post, but that is in no way how it was intended... if I wanted to be judging, believe me it would have been much more than suggesting waiting 12 months.
I state mine all the time, but having the right to your opinion also includes people having the right to their opinion on your opinion....if that makes sense!
It sounds like you have had a difficult time if you have had 8 pregnancies in total and five ending in miscarriage. I'm very sorry to hear this, as I'm sure most ladies on here would be. In general I think that baby expert is a very genuine and supportive group and it has helped me lots.
I would think given what you have been through that you could sympathise in some ways with tink for finding some elements of your post insensitive to someone who has been trying to have a baby for a long period and turned to these methods.
Everyone is different though and everyone should be able to air their opinions...isn't that the point of a forum.
Fair enough the ones that joined, but you all on here, not even members of the forum do not have a right to bitch about someone who, to the best of your knowledge does not have the ability to defend themselves. That is bang out of order quite frankly.
If you all had something to say about me, you should have, like the other 2 did joined up and said it all to my face. I would have respected opinions more then if I am honest.
I don't think this is sad, in fact it has made me more positive about the whole situation as I feel more in control.
I love all my girlies on here for supporting me in this, we all have very different situations and never feel that we have the right to judge each other xxx
I just don't personally like the idea, but maybe I am just made differently to you all.
Credit to you hun for coming on here though, but you must understand that such seemingly blase comments could hurt some girlies, even though you've been through some difficult times yourself xxx