Feeling a little cheated.

I remember being told when i was about 12/13 how very easy it is to get pregnant, I spent my adult life worrying i'll fall accidently. I guess i must be really stupid or nieve, but i never knew how hard it is, until we started ttc and i started reading, So now rather then worrying i'll fall pregnant, i'm worrying i can't or that i don't ovulate or i don't get ewcm or my cycles are long and irregular or my temps aren't rising or my opks are always neg. It seriously makes my brain hurt. I guess i have to accept that i'm never going to be relaxed and easy going about ttc, what doesn't help is hubby not realising how technical it is.
He thinks a month of unprotected sex will get the job done, as it has with his 2 brothers (2 sister laws -3 girls - all concieved within a month of ttc) and you no the longer it is the more the mil is thinking something is wrong with me.

OK i'm going to stop moaning now, but seriously we're taught how not to get pregnant, how about a class on how to get pregnant!
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  • lol xx i hear ya hun! they wre the exception not the rule u r quite normal lol! xx
  • my sis in law came off the patch and caught within 6 months, we have been trying for longer and i havent been on the pill for 3 yrs! typical lol xx good luck xx
  • Thanks girls, least its not just me, ho hum, least its fun image
  • my better half is loving the trying proccess!!xx
  • I'm going to have a little moan and i hope i don't offend anyone in doing so but it seems that the younger, scummier and less you actually care about your children, the easier it is to get pregnant.
    I was sat with my sister the other day and she was telling me that nearly all the girls in her school have got at least one child. As it turns out my sister will soon be joining them (she is young, 19, but she's not scummy and will make a great Mum). Most of the people from my school are married now with children, but she was telling me about a girl who at 19 already has a child and is now 6 weeks pregnant with a different mans child and is already plastering it all over fb! I'm sure her mother is so very proud of her.
    In my job i have to credit check people and not long ago i asked a woman if she was working and she said in a shocked voice 'no, of course not, i'm on benefits!' As if to say, why the hell would i work when i can just keep having children and let them be my meal ticket! She was only young and told me she was pregnant with her 15th child or something. (ok that was an exaggeration)
    I'm sure there are young mum's out there who are brilliant and really do love their children but it just seems to be fashionable to be a young, pregnant chav nowadays.
    And the most annoying thing is when i see pregnant women smoking and/or drinking. Everybody knows that they are bad for your baby and children, so why do they do it. How could you put something in your body that can damage your unborn child so much, why would they do that?! After my first miscarriage i was sat waiting to be collected from the hospital (i had to have a d&c) and right outside the maternity ward doors was a heavily pregnant woman smoking. If i was a nurse, or a little braver than i am, i would have to say something. It makes me want to scream!
    Why are they blessed with (so many) children when there are people out there who would make amazing parents but cannot conceive?!
    And another thing is that these people are so scummy, but they will bring their kids up to be worse, and the world just becomes an even more dangerous place than it is now. It's a vicious cycle. It worries me that i will actually be bringing my children into this world the way it is.

    Ok, i think i have it out of my system now! I'm so sorry to take over your post with my ranting! Please forgive me!! :lol:
  • Sorry about that, just reading people's posts today made me so angry that lovely, deserving people don't get the baby they so desperately want yet the scum of the earth out there do then spend the next 18 years screaming and swearing at them in supermarket aisles!
  • you go girl!!i know a couple of girls (sil included) who got pregnant cos someone else did.also, someone who i thought was not interested in all the benefits etc has informed me that part time is the way forward as she gets more off the state!i was intrigued so i looked into it, but as i am a retail manager and my oh has a good job, we cant get stuff all. its all fun and games!xximage
  • hey totally no where you're coming from poppy, when i worked in a bank the local concil were building new houses. On mondays when the benifits were paid, the amount of conversations i heard from young girls trying to get preg again to get a bigger house, So they must have had 2 or 3 already because they were 4 bed houses.
  • Argh! What is wrong with this country?! Why can't they see what is going on and sterilise these people after 3 children?! Or even in some cases after their first! Or in extreme cases, just sterilise them at 12 years of age! Oh look, i'm getting angry again!!
    Why should they get these big houses and have all the latest and most expensive stuff - tv's, game consoles, expensive cars etc, when we are decent people and work hard for what we have, how is that fair? I work full time in a job i hate. I have a crappy old tv which crackels all the time. I have a hand me down sofa, which to be honest theres no point changing because my dog is always on it when i'm not around, sneaky thing! and clothes that i've had for years, i rarely buy myslef anything because there's always some bill to pay or something more important to buy.
    It really frustrates me, can you tell?!
  • relaxation technique-breathe in slowly and out slowly.... lol seriously, im with you, theres nobody to give them a bloody good shake and say that its not a toy is there?!x
  • An ex boyfriend of mine was from a not so nice part of manchester. He himself was ok, most of the time, but his friends were horrible. One girl i think was about 16 and got pregnant to my bfs best friend. While she was pregnany she slept with 3 other people, nice girl she was.
    She had a gorgeous daughter. One day we went round to see them, the baby was only a couple of weeks old. She had hold of her with her hands around her chest, under her arms, and was kind of bobbing her up and down and her head kept falling backwards. I kept saying you need to support her head but she took no notice. It was like she was a ragdoll.

    Another one of his friends had got herself into a bit of a situation with an ex boyfriend and asked my bf and his friends to go and sit with her because she didn't feel safe. We went round and she was heavily pregnant (i'd never met this girl before, if i'd of known this i wouldn't of gone round) and already had a daughter who i think was about 2. She was sat there smoking and drinking straight vodka. Her really rough friend was smoking weed right next to her, with her daughter sat on her knee. Every other word was f*cking this, f*cking that. I darent say anything because her really lovely friend was very obviously not all there and nearly ripped my bfs head off for something he said.
    I'm so glad i'm not with him anymore and don't have to be a part of that lifestyle.

    I'm going to stop winding myself up now, i'm sure you don't want to read it and it's not good for my bean!
  • we went round to my SILs house as she had her 2 week old nephew there. hes a beaut and me and the oh were loving giving him a munch (much to sils annoyance) little baby went to sleep on oh for 2 hrs, it was lovely!when it was time to go, my sil grabbed the baby like a 10yr old (she is 21 and pregnant herself)so she could hold him before they left.his head dropped back and my oh, who has not much baby experience went mad at her for not picking him up and supporting his head. she just looked blank at him. madness, and shes having 1 herself in 6 months. god help us!!xx
  • I soooo agree with you Poppy! My sister is a teacher and actually overheard 2 chavvy mum's talking about whether or not to give up smoking as one of them is pregnant. She said she has no intention of giving up smoking as she'll 'have a smaller baby'!!!! image

    Never mind that the poor little thing will have increased risk of asthma, respiratory tract infections, glue ear, ear infections......the list goes on!
  • Poppy

    I soooooo agree with you. I work in housing and did a couple of years in the anti social behaviour unit and it was scary how some people treat their children, often putting blokes, drink and other stuff before their little ones. Having one after another and having the best top of the range stuff in their house. I like you have a tv that the sound goes off, second hand sofa an oldish car. I have a decent job but by the time you pay the mortgage etc, you don't want to push yourself too much do you? The smoking thing really gets me too, I know it must be hard to pack in but lets face it, it's a small price to pay. My parents have smoked for over 40 years but have even said they won't smoke when in our company. Some of these women should have some commen sense.
  • Hey all

    Seems like you all had a lot to get off your chest last night lol!

    A couple of years ago I really had a massive deal with other people being pregnant and no jobs etc. Mainly because me and hubby were struggling to make ends meet with just us two and bills etc. Yet his sister (and other pond life of this country) were unemployed, having kids left right and centre, still having a week in costa brava in July, driving better cars and on the lash every weekend. With a MIL who thinks the 'sun shines out of daughters a$$' - yet dislikes me. The pressure was too much and it made me quite ill and obsessive over it.

    In this country there are too many scroungers and its a culture which is a few generations old now so a real problem to tackle. I finally realised, I will never solve the problem. I learnt that you have to stop looking over your shoulder at what they are doing and get on with your own life! I would rather have a hand-me-down settee because I have worked for it. Me and my husband will work hard to afford a baby, a mortgage and our family holidays. But I would rather that than join the benefit culture.

    Having morals doesn't give you an easy ride to the latest plasma 45inch TV - but I know what I'd rather have!!!

    H x
  • Oh I so agree to all that. OK, I do have the advantage of not paying any tax being a student(and feel guilty about that) but have never got a single penny of student loan either.

    I just find it strange that in schools being pg seems to be cool but at university the other students will treat you like scum if you are pg and not an obviously mature(over27) student. I am actually kind of scared of walking around campus if I ever get to have a bump. I don't care what others think, just don't want a negative atmosphere around my furute LO.

    Admittedly I am counting on getting some money towards childcare whilst I am still a student but it is considerably less than child care benefits that others can get. Does that make me just as bad? I hope non of you is judging me for this...

    xxx
  • Sorry G/c from planning but very well said Mrsallen08! Morals are very important. I find it equally irritating that if you work hard, try to keep healthy, save money and try to be a good member of society you are to some extent punished. I remember working in a shop at 16 (which I did for 5 years until the end of my degree) and being told by an older member of staff they were quitting because they got more money to be out of work! Madness! Also find it irritating that I have spent 8 and a half years on the pill to avoid falling pregnant (so I can finish education and forge a career) only to discover that the pill has huge affects on your health. Why do they not tell you that when you start taking it? My Dr even tried to convince me I am too young to come off it at the ripe age of 25, married with full time teaching job and mortgage on 2 bedroom cottage. I am sure he wouldn't dare say that to a 16 year old mum - they would prob receive lots of support and financial assistance. Well poo to that I say!
  • Shuck i wouldnt worry about students at Uni, i must have been very lucky as i shared an office (for post grads) at uni with a girl and she would take her daughter in all the time. I always thought that would have been a great time to have a LO as there are so many events at Uni for lecturers LO's and its a great enviroment to have your baby around. Lots of healthy food, baby growing into a mini society that puts education at the center, peers would hold the same....

    I do have to say that when i was at school (im only 24) it was never cool to be preg, those girls were called horrible names, even though other girls were still having sex. I did have underage sex and i was stupid. Im so lucky i didnt get preg as that wouldnt have ever been what i wanted. Im not sticking up for chavs, but some girls are really just young and very stupid.

    BUT i also want to put my tuppence worth in...oh the damn SIL!! Smoking, in a big house cos of the kids, common, swearing, crude.... The list could go on, thing is, it wont help us get preg any quicker and brought us down even seeing her. We just dont really talk to her anymore.
    x

    [Modified by: HomeFairy on January 10, 2010 10:55 AM]

  • morals are very important but even in here (which is a nice site as some are quite chavvy) they vary greatly. i would never dream of having a child outside of marriage, but others dont see that as a stigma at all.

    we do have a growing jeremy kyle culture now and it is very frustrating putting so much into the wlefare state and getting very little back, although i do appreciate the nhs even with all its flaws! but you can choose your friends and wherever you live, so you dont need to move in these circles. at school some might see it as cool if someone is pg (but working in a school i know that is generally not the case - where i work anyway and it;s not a particularly nice catchment area) at university you are surrounded by intelligent peoole who see the value in achieving, so would see it as odd for someone to get pregnant.

    to get to the point, eventually, teenagers ARE at their most fertile so it IS easier for them to get pregnant. the older you get to have your first the harder it gets. so you wern't lied to!

    how long have you been ttc?
  • Hi Shuck i'm in exactly the same position, don't worry! It will be harder but who cares what people think?

    A girl I went to school with is the same age as me (23) and has 4 kids! I can't comment on her personal circumstances because I only keep in touch with her on fb these days, she is lovely and seems to really dote on her kids, but 4 already!! I don't even have 1! (Think its more envy making me mention it lol.)

    My problem is that if you've been working and paying tax all your life you're still looked down on if you do need help. My personal feeling is that when we do have a baby we're going to claim for anything we're entitled to because we have spent years working and paying our own way without asking for anything. Plus our income isn't great so we would need a bit of extra help. I hope I don't get judged for that but thats how I feel.
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