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  • Why are you feeling low?x
  • Why are you feeling low KLou? You're just starting to get going, try to enjoy it as much as you can!
  • Sorry you're feeling lox K-lou. I always seem to be posting in your threads! image)

    You should be excited if you think you might be ov tomorrow! You can get the pain before, during or after ov. I'd take it as a good sign still! I has ewcm, but later than I thought it was going to be. It was day 16 and 17 rather than CD 15 ie. last cycle was 30 days. (Mind you that was first proper cycle off pill, so no basis to think next one would be 30 days!!)

    PMA, PMA, PMA!! image)

    Loved the stories girls. xx

    http://tt.lilypie.com/tlKyp1/.png

  • I don;t know I dont; think its just all this baby stuff, i had a fight with Hubby last night as he did not want to BD which is fine but I feel like he is not really seeing that when I OV this needs to be done you know.

    Not just that but I still have that dull pain in my side when i walk whic is bothering me, i have been given loads of work to do this morning, I feel like I am a bit lost with this whole OV business and have no clue what I am doing LOL

    I am not really down or anything just a bit fede up. I know I should be enjoying this and I am but i feel like Hubby does not see how important this is. I just wanted to really trying as soon as we can so i feel like i am actually doing something.

    I have no idea when my next AF will turn up so i guess it is very poss i wont even OV till next week?

    I did hear though that some women OV's right after there AF? I did not know that happened

    Mithical - I am glad you do image you always have great advice image

    xxx
  • Klou, I would really advise going easy on your hubby. It's your first month of trying and he is likely to get more resistant the more you pressure him. Try not to make it into the most important thing ever, chances are that even without knowing the exact day you ovulate, you'll get pregnant soon enough. Millions of women do it every month.
    image
  • Thank you k-lou, that's nice to know! image

    My OH found it a bit difficult too, being a man he is first to admit he doesn't understand all this stuff! I didn't either to start with. He couldn't understand the timing involved, and began to feel it was a bit mechanical bding at certain times.

    He's looking forward to me being pg, and I have explained to him the ov bit. So he began winding me up and trying to get me to seduce him! Like I should be doing all that work! :roll:

    I can imagine it is very frustrating not knowing when you will ov, and all I can say is don't give up yet. You may still get ewcm if this cycle is longer than you are expecting. I thought I wasn't going to see any this month, then it turned up. Yuck and yay all at the same time! :lol:

    Bd every other day if you can, then you hopefully won't miss the window. But try, as hard as it is, not to feel pressured to do it.

    Sorry this turned into an essay! image

    http://tt.lilypie.com/tlKyp1/.png

  • Thanks girls I know I shuold not be hard on him. There is a history of problems in this dept though. He hardly likes sex I can't believe i am saying this but there you go. I have a very high sex drive and he does not. He hardly thinks about it so he says. He will watch porn alone but never wants to watch it with me. i think as there is already problems there i am feeling mad with him as this is the times I can't just say ok you do that then, i can do his without you as i can;t?

    i don;t mind how long it takes us but I feel like this will be a problem alwatys with him. I asked him to go and see somebody at Christmas which he still has not done.

    Sorry i know i should not be saying all this on here but I wanted you to see it;s more than just making a baby. It makes me feel unsexy and that i am not enough for him. Every other part of our relationshi is amazing, and he knows he has a problem.


    xxxxx
  • Sorry to hear about your problems K-lou, I understand why it's getting to you. Sounds like he definitely needs some counselling or similar as he doesn't have a healthy attitude to sex and even if the rest of your realtionship is great, it's a problem for the two of you.
    As far as TTC goes, I think you should try to have a conversation with him about it, in a situation that isn't emotive and is clearly not an attempt to get him to BD. Maybe over lunch or something. Explain that you know how he feels about sex and that you understand that it's not something he can just switch on at will, but that you need some sort of commitment to doing it a couple of times a month if you're going to get pregnant. Make it really friendly and try not to get emotional, I'm sure you can come to some sort of agreement.
  • Thank you, we have these talks about it a few times now and after that he really makes an effort and things are fine but then they go right back to where they were. He is so low on himsself he worries about stage fright and then gets it because he is thinking so much about it?
    He wants to be a dad more than anything but I will have a talk to him and be friendly with it but make him see i can't do this without him. And that bding every other night is not something I am like ok lets do it about i know it will be hard at times when you don;t feel like it but it has to be done.

    Thanks for getting back to me image

    xxx
  • There are tablets available for men and women to boost libido. If he is uncomfortable going to see someone at the moment, amybe that is an option? xx
  • Oh really I have never even heard of that?? I might look into it thanks honey xx
  • K-lou, I am sooooo understanding your problem as I have it too. Not sure that I'd say that my DH needs to see someone, it's just that he doesn't seem to fancy 'doing it'. I get sooooo mad at times and probably make things worse but he'll just say,'tomorrow' and I know that it's not always gonna happen then either. I've said to him that I wish I could do it without him (in one of my loony moments) and he joked around saying how I needed him etc and I could have killed him. I feel like he has control of my emotions but do understand that it's hard work. If my cycle was shorter or I knew when I O then it'd be soo much easier but I'm always wondering if I'm in a tww just so I can chill.

    All I've ever wanted was a family and I'm worried that I'll start to resent my DH. I was more chilled out this month as my mum was here but that only meant that I wasn't trying to get DH to BD so we didn't. I'm really sorry to hear that you struggle to but also nice to not be alone (sorry). Everybody else seems to BD other other day all the time and we only manage that for a short time and probably not when it counts. I worry about BD'ing, timing and everything else. I just want to feel like we're doing all we can and it just doesn't feel like it. I'm dreading next month as my DH wants to go away in Nov and if I get a BFP this or next mth then it's a no go. I have told him that we still have to make it priority but know that if it's normally hard then it'll be worse as he may hold off for that.

    Anyway as usual I'm turned my reply into a rant but it's really a sore subject for me too. I'm praying for my BFP this month and not only for the baby but to not have to go through this anymore. I love my DH but can't understand his lack of effort. I hope things get better for you xxx
  • Porky - Thanks for getting back to me i really do understand what your saying. My hubby did see somebody for just a few weeks last year at the start of the year and it helped loads but then it just went back to normal after a few months. He had a bad sexual relationship with his last girlfriend who was the only girl he had ever slept with she did not like sex so they hardly did it and I am sure it's come from there. It makes me feel so fat and ugly though like I am not sexy enough for him and is stressing me out more than TTC.

    I have been reading so much that some girls did not even bother to check their cycle and to check if they were OV and just Bd'd every other day and it happened for them i am thinking of doing this it takes the strain off trying.

    I met hubby for lunch today and told him how I felt and said I can't do this without him and this is not the way i want to make our first baby. He wants a baby more than me so I think it hit home.

    He was really sweet and said tonight we will defo do it and it will be fun and we will take it each day at a time. It's not so much me worrying how long it will take it's more the fact I would like to know we are doing everything we can each month so that at least if it did not happen I can say well we did our best on to the next month you know??

    K xxx
  • Hi k-lou

    What you are saying makes total sense.
    Ask your OH about the tablets, they might help.
    When my OH and I got together he had been scarred by a previous relationship, took some convincing to prove I was a different person to his ex.
    Your hubby may have felt unattractive in the past relationship, and it's been transferred to yours.
    I'm really glad you have had a chat with him, and things seem to be on the up. (So to speak - sorry!)
    xx
  • LOL I hope they are in the up LOL

    He was 20 when he lost his v and it was with an older women, she never made him feel like he was any good at it so he worries all the time he is rubbish even though he is great and i never stop telling him that it;s like he does not believe it.

    I think he has brought a lot of the issues they had into our relationship. he was with her for like 5 years and they sex about 7 times!!!!!!!!!

    I am nothing like that and love doing it lol so i think he finds that hard at times as he just got use to not having that in his life?

    I will talk to him about these pills though and look these up, thanks for that.

    xxxx
  • Hi K, I know exactly what you mean and although that means someone else is stressed like me, at least we can vent togetherimage I would gladly not look at my cycle and count days or guess at O time etc and just BD every other day. In fact that would be perfect as I don't know my cycle either way so it'd be better and cover all bases. Unfortunately that is a problem as my DH won't keep the every other night thing going and my cycle is soooo long that it's hard work. We did try the SMEP one month which is every other day from CD8, think we got to day 16 before he quit and then it was at least a week later before we BD'd again (if not 2). Think it was a 33 day cycle so probably missed it if I did O. Then cycle went to 39 days so it's so hard to know when it could be the tww. I hope you can try that method though as it'll save guessing about O, guess it depends if your DH plays ball though.

    Sounds like the chat went well, I'm V.jealous that your DH wants a baby more than you, then again it'd be impossible for my DH as I'm terrible. Hopefully he'll remember your chat and keep up the good work, have a nice night tonight image My DH wants a baby and says that he knows it'll happen but doesn't seem to put in the part that counts, well he does but not enough.

    I'm more stressed about the affect it has on ttc rather than the deed itself. I used to have a really high sex drive but think I've just dropped it now and become too relaxed and he has no drive at times. It also got very routine and not exciting but that easily happens after yrs together I guess. Wish I'd have tried to do the deed more before we started ttc as now it's obviously for that reason. I sound awful but to do it every other day isn't about wanting to (in my case), it's a commitment to ttc. So when my DH tells me that he isn't in the mood and tired then I don't really care as I'm not always in the mood but the end result would be sooo worth it.

    I have also gained alot of weight since coming off the pill so feel ugly and not sexy. Then again he's piled on alot of weight since we've been together so I shouldn't dwell on that.

    Anyway, I'll be paying you for my therapy soon, sorry I waffle on but I can't talk about this to anyone really. Hope it improves from now on hun, keep me posted xxx
  • You talk as much as you want to me I know how you are feeling and what you are going through. Have you tried to spice things up, dress sexy for him one night by surprise, watching porn together? using a toy? These are all things that might be new to you both and that might help? I have told my hubby to be selfish and to not worry so much on how i am feeling, I said love trust me I will be making sure i get mine lol

    Maybe you need to sit him down and have a chat to him and say us doing it every two weeks might not be enough to get out family started and that he needs to put in more of an effort. I know it;s hard but i am sure and i have said this to hubby that once we start it will get into a routine and then it wont feel so forced. To be honest I am the same as you, I am not and most likely will not be in the mood tonight but I want a baby and he wants a baby and we have to do what we have to do, it;s just all about trying to have some fun along the wayimage

    xxx
  • Hope you don't think I am over-stepping the mark, but I am just sitting in front of the computer watching something, so did a search. xx

    http://www.imahealthline.com/
    http://www.grooming-health.com/sex-drive-supplements.htm
    http://www.sanctumhealth.com/product.asp?CtgID=1006&ProdID=1134
  • Oh wow thank you so much image I don't think you are over stepping the mark at all thank you for looking these up. Will have a little look at home tonight and see how he feels about them image

    xxxx
  • Hi girls, I know how you feel about oh not making an effort even though they want a baby too.
    Were on month 7 ttc and only this month oh has made the effort. Luckily we have been in the mood to BD on cd 7, 9, 10 and 12 but tonight being cd 14 I dont think its going to happen. I wanted to BD last night because I may be ov but we were too tired, neither of us wanted to make the first move. We had a little arguement over it about me wanting to and him wanting me to get him in the mood.
    And today we both seem to be in funny moods so I know I can forget about it just to BD but I know he wont be able to.

    Can I ask have any of you ever tried to interest ur oh when it comes to BD and they pretty much ignore you?? Its horrible. He has done it in the past and its not very confidence boosting. He would say I look good and look interested but doesnt actually come and get me, if you know what i mean.

    anyway I am happier this month and more positive but last night ruined it a little.
    good luck k-lou x x x
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