how the other half live??

Hi Ladies

I'm just wondering if im getting all worked up over nothing here or if im right to be concerned, I will give you a bit of back round info, hubby and I have been trying for 5 months now ( I know that not very long at all) I am 26 and he is almost 39.
I desperately want us to be a family and we have discussed this in depth many a time and he says that he wants the same - this seems to be as far as our agreement goes, I have a CBFM which I haven't told him about - we only BD on one of my two peaks this month as he wasn't in the mood and to be honest I feel disappointed by this as its like we have wasted an egg if we don't get the BFP ( sorry if that sounds irrational, but im sure some of the ladies on here will understand this ) like many others on here I am taking this whole TTC business quite seriously and want to BD as much as possible at the time of month that counts the most, however my hubby seems to think it makes no difference what so ever and we can make as little or as much effort as we like and the chances of getting that BFP would still be the same, he simply doesn't understand how complicated TTC is and thinks that we will just get the BFP by magic.

The reason I have not told him about my CBFM is coz I am scared to as I don't want him to think im obsessed and becoming the sort of person who calls him up in the middle of the day and drags him back coz the time is right- I know this is how he would feel and that he feels this is a crazy way to go about life, me on the other hand totally understand that in some cases it dose have to be that exact and to be honest I want to be a mother so much that it doesn't faze me.

To make matters worse I don't know if my job is going to be 100% safe in the new year but its looking positive at the moment, hubby wants me to look elsewhere but im not keen to as we have already said that when we do get that BFP and the little one comes along I will need maternity leave so don't want to be in a new job- I said this too him in regards to me looking else where and he got quite angry - now I know we have no idea when that day will come but he doesn't seem to be as focus as me and im worried.

Ladies im going to stop there as I feel I might not be making a great deal of sense, I just wonder if anyone else feels the same or how your partners are with the whole TTC thing.
Sorry if I upset anyone, baby dust to all xxxx

Posts

  • I certainly don't think you're the only one who feels like this LittleBug, and definitely not the only one who's hubby hasn't got a clue!

    I want a baby more than anything and it consumes my every thought. Hubby also wants a baby but I am pretty sure he is not sat at his desk obsessing over what dpo he is or whether his luteal phase is long enough or what that odd twinge means. Men, as they say, are from Mars.

    And I'm with you on the job thing. I supply teach, but it's a thankless task, and I would love to get a full time position, but keep thinking - how unprofessional would I look if I rock up on day one to tell them I will be off in a few months on maternity leave?? It's one of those chicken/egg situations I'm afraid.

    I think I am lucky with my hubby though in that he see the whole cbfm thing as one big glorious gadget. He often asks me "how fertile are you today?" and also has some sort of algebraic equation for working out when I will ov. next. I think it's cos I only talk to him about it when he asks, and then I keep my answers short and to the point, and don;t try to baffle him with science. Actually, I think hubby would think it was brilliant if I dragged him out of work cos I was ovulating!
  • Hi hun

    sorry to hear that you are so stressed, try to chill as being stressed will make things harder, Did you try to tell OH what is going on in your body?
    mine didn't have clue but now he is very aware of things.

    I agree with only telling him the basics, too much might influence his "performance". If you really don't like your job, get another one. You want to be a happy mummy after all and depending on your salary statutory maternity pay might give you the same amount(if you haven't been with new employer for long enough)

    and you probably don't want to hear this bit but your hubby has a point, statistically people who TTC and people who use contraception improperly or not regularly have the same chance to fall pg

    xxx
  • Hi ladies thank you for the replies

    The thing is hubby doesn't seem to want to be told when is best as he has this whole thing going on where he doesn't want to be seen as a machine I guess- I just wish there was a way of telling him its not that easy but then as you say Shuck it might be, just depends on the couple and the timing I guess, your statistics help actually coz it makes me relax a little thinking that we might not have to be totally spot on if that makes sense.

    As for my job well I think I shall wait until the New Year and see how things plan out-there are going to be changes in the company but until they happen I won't know how my job will change, who knows it could all be for the better.

    Thanks again ladies, baby dust to all xxx
  • hey,

    i think my oh thinks this too sometimes.

    all the stuff they teach at school - like - ur cycle is 28 days - is crud! i'm sure he still believes it.

    and i'm sure he must have read the lady's post on cosmo that Tink wrote about cue he seems to think that's all u need to do.

    i should be fsir to him - i think he's actually starting to understand.

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