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Third time lucky?

gem999gem999
in Trying to conceive
Hello everyone,



I think i'm after some reasurance, advice (or maybe just a hug!)



A bit about me - have been ttc for a while. Have had 2 BFP's. 1st, in dec 2010, was unfortunatly ectopic and ended in having my left tube removed. 2nd was a missed miscarriage which we found out about at almost 12 weeks, that was in april.



Needless to we were totally gutted. Not long after i told my hubby that i really didnt think i'd be able to cope with being pregnant again. That was 4 weeks ago, and now i think (well i reckon i'm sure) that i feel differently.



Did anyone have to wait for a while after their mmc or can we start trying again now-ish? It was the last thing on my mind to ask the doctor at the time!



Thanks for reading,



xxx

Replies

  • kwn_32kwn_32
    Hi Gem, sorry to hear about your losses, it doesn't get any easier does it. I've had 3 mmc's, all since last April and the latest in March this year (am currently awaiting test results to see why it keeps happening). After the first I wanted to try again straight away, and after 1 af I fell pg only to mmc again. After that one I told my husband there was no way I wanted to try again, but after a few weeks I completely changed my mind. Initially after the mmc's it is very hard to see yourself potentially going through the same thing again but everyone is different.



    I found the 1st very hard to deal with, so wanted to get pg again to try and kind of heal the pain; after the second I was so angry that I didn't think I wanted to try again. After 4 months I did fall pg again, only to lose that one in March. I was completely devastated but the issue of ttc again has been taken out of my hands due to me needing surgery to remove a cyst, not wanting to until I have my recurrent mc test results back and my husband being in Afghanistan!



    Trying again is completely personal, if you are ready then go for it. Doctors suggest waiting for at least 1 af but this is only for dating purposes. It is said that you're more fertile after a mc so waiting 6 months (which used to be the advice given) could potentially waste time (in my opinion anyway). If you know you want to try again and you are ready there is nothing stopping you.



    I really hope you are 3rd time lucky, for so many women this is the case. Good luck and sending you a huge hug xxx
  • gem999gem999
    Thanks for the hug kwn!



    I'm so sorry for your 3 losses. I hope you get some help from the test results and hope your husband is home with you soon.



    It comforting to know that we can try again whenever we're ready. I had the D+C nearly 4 weeks ago so fingers crossed af should arrive soon and we'll give it a go!



    It's strange how quickly my feelings about ttc have changed. We both found this loss harder to deal with than the ectopic, just because i think we had longer to get used to the idea (made stupid little plans about country walks with a buggy, me being at home a bit more etc) and althought we were both so sad we really still want the little family life we've chatted about.



    Thanks again and good luck to us both,



    xxx
  • joyc6563joyc6563
    Hi Gem,

    Wanted to share my exp with you as I am one the girls who seem to be 'third time lucky'.

    our first mc was natural in Jan 10 at about 5-6 weeks and we were both gutted, it took us 6 months to ffall pregnant. We waited one af and tried again, falling pregnant after 3 months. I had a small bleed two days before our 12 week scan and found out baby had stopped growing at 9 1/2 weeks which was heartbreaking as we had an early scan about the same time and seen a healthy heartbeat. It took me a long time to get over but I yearned to be pregnant again....I know it felt really hard to come to terms with as we never dreamed it owuld happen to us again.



    7 months later I fell pregnant again and didnt get a rush of excitement - more oh no what if it happens again. We took each day as it came, didnt plan for anything, didnt talk about it much to be honest - I think we were both scared of what could happen again. I had two early scans - all was well, then had a small bleed again at 8 weeks and thought it was over.....the relief when the lady said she could see the heartbeat was amazing.



    We are now almost 16 weeks - emotional, excited looking forward and being relaxed about it all - enjoying it I think!



    Sorry for the long post, if you have the strength you keep going and you will get there - the ladies in this group are an inspiration and helped me through.



    Good luck to you, my best piece of advice is to relax.....

    Love Joy

    xxxx
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