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SO broody

So im only 19 soon to be 20 my boyfriend is 22 so people may not take me to serious but i am so broody its unreal! I work in a day nursery so i have children around me all the time people say its the best place to be.. if any think it makes me 100 times more broody! Doesnt help loads of pregnant people around me all having their beautiful babies! So i missed 3 pills lost 1 and then was 5 days late every one around me was joking around saying i could be pregnant so i started to get really attached to this idea of being pregnant it made me SOO happy! So when i came on i was heart broken i cried for a good few hours. So i spoke to my boyfriend and said i want to come off the pill but i wanna wear condoms for the first 3 months because i have know a few people to have miscarried after getting pregnant soon after coming off the pill so im hoping 3 month will give my body enough time to go back to its normal self. We have both agreed not to try for a baby but if we have sex at the right time on the right date and it happens it was obviously meant to happen the reason we are not trying as we have still not moved out we are both living at mine and was hoping to move out this year july but we had such diffcultys with work but my bf is now in a good steady job and can afford to look after us both and i work part time and we are both studing for our lv 3 which we should both be finished by 2012 jan-may which means he will get a pay rise i doubt i would being in child care not exactly great pay but worth the while! We will be moved out by then aswell our first plan was to wait till june/july and actually try for a baby but i physically feel like i can not its always on my mind 24/7 every one at work says im mature and seniable and i know this is not being very seniable our first plan was seniable but its like the only thing missing me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 3 years and i just can not wait to settle down people may read this and think oo your young your missing out but if you knew me you would know its what i have always wanted and now im so close yet so far from having my own little family.


  • Hey there.

    First off let me give you a little information about me:

    I'm 18, been with my boyfriend for two years, we accidentally fell pregnant about 2 months after we started officially going out, our daughter is now 14 months old and we're planning to start TTC for number two in November. I know many people will judge me for having two kids before I'm even 20, but I so badly want for my daughter to grow up with a sibling like I did. We're financially stable and we're getting married in 2013, so we think there's no reason for us to not have another child if it's what we want.

    So. Basically, if you're in a stable relationship, you're able to support yourself financially and if it's what you really want, have a baby. I think people are way too judgemental about age. I'm only 18, but I'm extremely mature and I always have been.

  • Thank you for reading and replying to my message.

    Atm we are both still living at mine so not exactly a good start but we have been saving for the past 8 months now and we could afford to live on the money but we just need the saving for deposit furniture and the rest we have decided we are going to rent i understand it's dead money but if we buy it would be at least 2-4 years living at home and home life is not brilliant and now my boyfriend has moved in with us it makes us want our own place even more and our own family. My family doesnt want us to move out though every time i bring it up about moving out they always say ohh so next year decemeber or the latest when im 23/24image I think if i did fall pregnant my family would help us to move out thats all we really need is the help to get on our feet and then i know we would be fine and once my boyfriend get his level 3 his pay would go up by quite alot and i was working 2 jobs but had to stop one but once im level 3 then im gonna just focus on doing part time nanning as i want to see my child and it decent money so the idea is there and we have put alot of thought into it all but i know we should wait till we are moved out my this broody ness is taking over im just glad i have such a supportive boyyfriend!
  • It's sounds like you have thought this through a great deal there are pros and cons to being a younger have more energy and generally more relaxed and not to stressed. The cons are you might have the baby and then start noticing and focusing on friends who don't have a family and wanting all the things thay have, nights outs, lie ins, travelling etc.

    Only you know what's right for you!

    I had my DD1 just before I was 19. I then went to uni and did a full time course in Primary Education, at one point I was also working 2 part time jobs and doing this all by myself as DD1 biological was/is not around so no money/no support. I had great parents who supported me and I could not have done it without them.

    I started dating my hubby 7 years ago and in Dec it will be our 5 year Wedding Anniversary. We have DS who is 3 and I have hummmed and harred about another. I want another but I'm getting older find I do not have the energy I use to. Money wise we live in Hertfordshire which is v expensive - our mortgage as well as everyday living. All this said hubby def still does want another and I know I will. ttc in Jan makes sense for us as we are not getting any younger (I don;t really want to be over 35 as you are considered an older mum and a more at risk pregnancy) and there's a big prob with school places it is very likey LO will not get into any of the local primary schools for Sept 2012 and me being on mat leave will mean I can take him to school.

    If I were you I'd think about anything you want to do before ttc eg holidays, getting a place and if you're happy there's not you are sure you're in a stable loving relationship, you can afford it (on this point you never really can but somehow you'll manage, we really can't but know we'll manage) and that's what you want to do there's nothing stopping you. You work in a nursery so you know the deal.

    Hope that helps.....sorry if it sounds a bit of a ramble!!!

    El x
  • Thank you for taking the time to message me back image

    Well i have just been offered a full time and on much better pay then where i am working atm so me and my partner will be able to save alot more and so we are hoping to move out once we have saved so our old plan of waiting till june/july may come back in place as i dont really wanna start this job and then fall pregnant considering they have actually been really good to me.

    I oready know i dont want to full pregnant in novemeber and if we are going to move out soon that will keep me busy from always thinking about it i know i wont be jealous of friends as i dont really enjoy going out now tbh and i know people my age who have children and dont stop living i went out for NYE and since then till now ive been out 3-4 times which i think for my ages is pretty good lol i think i just want to settle down and now the money is right we can do it the right way.

    I just hope my broody-ness wont over power me and cause me to fall pregnant but if it happens i will be greatfull and we will deal with it but at the moment i feel i can try and wait and be more grown up about it so i can give my child the best.
  • Very sensible also might want to look into maternity pay. In my line of work you have to have been there 2 years to get it.

    I'm a person who likes to have a 'project' on the go, most people do! Getting your own place will be very exciting.....if you focus on that Your wanting a baby may subside as you have other exciting things to think about.

    I'd get some cateloges (sp!) together and start circling things you like/want. A few trips to ikea and homebase are always fun too!

    Good luck!

    El x
  • I got my contract sent through the post today it didnt say to much about maternity pay it said to look in the staff hand book which im guessing i wont see till i start ahh! lol

    Yes im hoping the whole moving out will make me busy enough to stop thinking about it all as much. I started last night a list of every think we need to move out and then going on ikea john lewis and m&s for price ideas my parents are being saints and buying the sofa so that will make it a little easier! now me and my partner just want to go out and buy it all!

    We are hoping even though a few birthdays and christmas round the corner we can still be moved out by jan-march at the latest come january 2012 it would of been a whole year since we started to plan this all and my job made me part time my partner some times would only have a day work and now he is in a steady full time job and im going to be starting soon so it just all seems to be falling into place at last!!

    If you asked me maybe 2 months ago would it be possible i would of said i would like to say yes but deep down im thinking no at last i can truely say yes!!
  • Cas, you made me smile when I read this! Bless you!

    I know it sounds patronising but you are still so young! Being young and enjoying life isn't just about going on nights out (god knows I'm not one for going out every Friday and Saturday, like you say you're not either) but about having the ultimate freedom to do tamer things, like to go out for food whenever you want, go away for a weekend with a minute's notice, go to the cinema on a whim, go to a spa with a friend, spend a little extra on clothes, have sex wherever you want in the house, lol! I got married at 24 and we were married over 5 years before we decided to ttc - I honestly would not have had it any other way! So many of my friends conceived within a year of being married/moving in with OHs, but we've had a freedom that is unrivalled (and that they envied a LOT, lol!)!  

    The best thing is, is that you could have a good 3 years of literally doing what you want, getting your place, doing it up, etc etc and STILL have a family at a young age image Just don't rush into the decision (although I realise broodiness can be a hard urge to resist!). It's not that children restrict you or that they ruin life, but it requires a complete life change - make the most of life and live both image Freedom, then the beauty of kids! You sound so much like you've got your head screwed one, looking at things like maternity pay, etc, which sounds inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, but can make all the difference. 

    But yet if it's desperately what you want and you feel like you can provide for a child and be able to give them a good life, why not?!

    Congratulations on your new job, btw.

     Wishing you all the best! image

    PS.This isn't meant to be against all those who start families really young! Everyone has their own path by choice, others get plunged into having a family unexpectedly - I'm not for one minute suggesting anyone like that is missing out! Far from it.  I'm just offering the point of view of someone who didn't start young. image  (((I wish I'd had 3-4 years of marriage then started ttc, rather than 5-6 - I've got PCOS (which to be fair, I've known about for years) and starting aged 27 might have been easier....but it's easy to say that with the gift of hindsight, isn't it!)))

  • Hi Cas21!

    I am 22 now and feel like im so ready to become pregnant! me and my partner are both settled in jobs and have been renting for 3 years together now but he still doesnt feel like the timing is right ( lucky you there!)

    Anyway, i had a friend who at 18 was obsessed with having a baby and she got pregnant with her partner and had baby at 19 - its the best thing she ever did, they are such great parents and have raised a lovely kid! I think that if its something you want and have thought about - which you clearly have - then you will make it work
    Also stat maternity pay is available to anyone who's earning over ??114 a week and has worked at least 26 weeks prior to 15 weeks before your due date so you should look in to that!
  • Sorry just realised this is a really old thread and now i cant delete my comment!

  • MissK, don't worry, people can still read it! 

    Statutory maternity is available but it's pretty crappy - it's only just over £400 a month, so if it were that alone, I'd be losing out on £1300 a month!!! Her employer might offer her maternity pay in addition to statutory, which often pays full pay for 5 weeks, then onto half pay, which makes a massive difference.

    Good luck with your situation - just because your boyfriend doesn't want to try now, doesn't mean he'll never want to. Just give him time - my husband felt exactly the same and it wasn't up to me to make him want a baby. Eventually, after a lot of talking, he decided it'd be ok to try in 6 months. Just a shame for us that I have all sorts of complications - he's gained another 18 months of freedom from babies... hehe! 

    Good luck xx

  • Me and my hubby are thinking of ttc, we are just so worried about the money side of it. He is leaving his job soon and my contract is coming to an end, so we will both be on new pays, but less than now, so we are worried that adding a baby into the mix is not going to be do-able.

    But I keep having dreams where we have twin boys and as we both have twins in our family, part of me just wants to bin the pill and get starting on our family.... if only we weren't so sensible!!

    I'm even considering doing a course in cake decorating so I can earn some extra money! A baby would just complete us.

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