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Desperate for a baby, but love my job!!

Hi everyone,



I've been married to my lovely husband for 4 years, and we both really want a baby. Since we have been married we have always had times when it really wouldn't be suitable to have a baby (i.e.I went back to uni to do an MA for 2 years), and then I managed to get my perfect job which I absolutely love! I am on a 5 year contract, and started in December 2010. I know ideally it would be best to wait until the end of the 5 years, but we really can't! I am about to turn 27, and had always dreamed of having babies younger than that! Also, having known so many people that have had problems ttc, I don't want to wait until then and then find we have problems.



So we have agreed that I will stop taking the pill at the end of this year, and we will start ttc in Jan. But I do really want to be able to go back to work after having the baby somehow, even if it is part time. The problem is, I am the co-ordinator of a very small project, and so it won't be very easy for me to leave. I've been involved in setting it up, and would need to do a huge handover to anyone filling in for me. I am anxious about telling my manager when I am pregant too! I know when she hired me for the 5 year contract, she was obviously expecting me to do the whole 5 years! But I guess I need to think about us...



Anyone else in the same boat?!

Replies

  • You are still quite young. Life doesn't always pan out exactly how you hope. The important thing is that you have a loving husband and I'm sure you'll find the right time soon enough. Also, don't beat yourself up too much about letting people down at work. Business is business... but family is always more important in the long run, but if you feel you can't leave just yet then give yourself a bit more time, it is on your side!
  • Thank you, yes I know i'm still young enough to not be in a rush, it's just we both feel it's right now and are getting impatient with waiting!



    I think we will go for it with January, and take it easy and see what happens! As many people have said to me, if we wait for when the time is perfect, it will never happen!
  • It's quite common nowadays for working ladies to have it all (or both rather) - the job and the baby. True, you may have to cut back hours both in the weeks leading up to the birth and afterwards, but when a baby comes into your life you'll know you've made the right choice. Many companies are understanding and you can resume your post when your maternity leave is over, either full time or part time. Depending on your job, you may be able to partly work from home.
  • I'm in the same situation, it's really hard! I think to be honest, you just have to be a bit selfish about it and do what you want to do. I know that if I get pregnant soon (which is the plan!) that my company won't be best pleased about it, as i'm only 24 and I think they thought I would be around for much longer without them having to worry about me going on mat leave (they were shocked enough when I announced that I was getting married!)- but the fact is, the law is what it is, and they have no option but to support you. I love my job too, but I think I will love being a Mummy much much more!



    On a slightly different note, don't let your age sway what you want to do. I am young too, and i'm getting so sick of people telling me i'm too young, got plenty of time etc etc. I've got a lovely husband, a lovely house, and a good job, and this is what I really want, so I say go for it! Work will wait image



    Good luck for January!
  • Hi Ladies



    I was in the same boat really, Id left starting a family until summer this year, am 34 years old, 35 next month and am now 4 months pregnant with my first. Ive been married for 3 years and with my partner 6 years and id made it clear when we met that I wanted to have a career first and enjoy my marriage before considering a family and my husband was happy to wait. I can honestly say before I got pregnant I was very nervous about the thought of leaving work, what would they say, how would they react, and if Id get bored and if Id miss work but even though I am only 4 months pregnant, I can honestly say all those thoughts have gone, I cannot wait to be a mum and at the end of the day work is work, I know I will come back to work when I am ready to and have asked to go part time which was accepted better than I thought it would be. To be honest my theory is if your business wants to keep you and it works for them they will be flexible around your needs not just because of the law but because they appreciate you, I know not all companies are like that so i guess I am lucky but honest when you do get pregnant everything else will not seem that important really and you have other achievements and exciting times on the horizon to look forward too. Best of luck and I hope it all works out for you. : O )
  • I haven't looked on here for a while, and just noticed another few replies! Thanks everyone for your advice and encouragement. We really are going for this now...hubby getting really excited! I've actually decided to stop taking the pill at the end of this pack (in about 3 weeks) and for a few weeks try to monitor my body using thermometer etc, because although I know people say you don't have to get the pill out of your system, I really hate taking the pill, and feel I want to make sure for definite that it's not having any affect on me!



    I am still nervous about work...I am the co-ordinator of a very small project, with only 4 members of staff, and I am the only full time person! But, I am allowed to get pregnant! So someone else will just have to cover for me, and I'm sure it will be fine!



    However, I do know that my manager values me and I think (or hope!) that she will work around it and let me go back part time to start with, and even work from home some days.



    Good luck to the others who are ttc in Jan! I'm starting to feel scared for other reasons now it's getting closer, mainly that once a baby is inside of me, it has to come out, and I'm really worried about labour and giving birth...but that's probably for another post! My desire for a baby is more than my fear of childbirth however!



    Mo
  • You are right MoJacobs can wait, because she is young and can wait for two three years.
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